It will be a glorious day.

I’m sure all Chuck has in mind is a strongly worded letter about how upset we are.

It’s giving “the fundamentals of our economy are strong”

By this logic we should be on 4chan! Engaging in a platform where the rhetoric is the rhetorical equivalent of a monkey flinging shit at their opponent isn’t the answer.

Somehow it ended up being so much worse.

It’s EAT THE RICH time. My satire about Elon Musk stranding himself and his billionaire frienemies on just space station. #ThirdPageThursday #ScriptSky

Oh look. The most predictable result when Schumer announced his “deal”

This statement is so bland and meaningless. It’s like it was written by a sentient focus group come to life.

Did we really just create Dumb Skynet?

People who use AI to write will never understand the satisfaction of solving a story problem on your own and having that lightbulb go off in your head that leads to pages and pages flowing out of you. There are few things better than that.

If we actually somehow manage to dig ourselves out of this, can we as a country PLEASE manage to have a better memory than a goldfish and have second thoughts before swinging back to Republicans AGAIN for the 3rd time in my lifetime.

Well. That ending freaking sucks.

I think the new version of "using a time machine to go back and kill Hitler" it's gonna be "using a time machine to go back and kill N*tflix"

I don’t understand how we as an industry of freelancers just collectively decided that hey… it’s cool if we just shut down for two months at the end of the year

Are you fucking kidding me?

I know Aftyn Behn probably loses tomorrow and by a lot. But Man... I want to believe.

Applying for Jobs is literally one of the worst activities to engage in in the modern era. Just absolute clown shit.

The Chicago Bears are the Number 1 seed in the NFC 🤣

Well that’s one way to stop the Tush Push

Remember the days when big name actors wouldn’t be caught dead in a commercial and it was a sign of their fall from grace if they were?

So Nick Offerman is definitely getting an Emmy this year right?

If we play our cards right we might be able to get Universal Healthcare out of this nightmare.

I was 17 when I wrote my Resident Evil Adaptation. I still go back to it from time to time applying what I've learned as a writer over the years and was even a Stunt List selection in 2023.

Hear me out: He starts out on top of a dam and says… I’ve been here before… shrugs it off and jumps.

Imagine letting someone as stupid as Mike Johnson dragging your asses to the cleaners.

Easier to just assume they’re all complicit and vote them all out.

Primary everyone over 60

Burn the whole useless party to the ground.

“Hey fam, we caved but we really need another $5 so we can cave to Trump better and more fecklessly next time!”

@kaine.senate.gov you’re Charlie Brown.

My Eat The Rich script takes place in 2035 when Elon is set to become the world’s first Trillionaire and brings up his billionaire frienemies up to his space station to celebrate and end up getting stranded.

I started a trend!

He died as he lived. Devoted to hating Muslims that he couldn’t bear to live long enough to see one elected Mayor of NYC.

This was my High School not even a block away from where I grew up. Fuck ICE. abc7chicago.com/post/chase-i...

We’re one step closer to making this a reality. Fun things incoming!

Cuomo’s desperation to cling to power is the top reason why he needs to be repudiated in this election.

Bedard with the hat trick!

If you wanna read about what happens in the scenario that's "really bad for their own fates" check out my new feature, "EAT THE RICH!

Oh man. She really has no true friends.

Call. Their. Bluff. If they want to leave. Let them but they likely won't.

Hey Guys! Here are some great horror scripts as part of the new Dead List!

Plattner's tattoo doesn't make him a Nazi, but it doesn't exactly scream "good judgment." I don't trust people who see-saw between whatever edgy ideology gets them the most attention in the moment. It's how we ended up with Fetterman.

We are so lucky that he’s putting some of the dumbest people in charge. Imagine if they were actually competent.

Just friendly advice for the Dodgers fans: most fans of other teams are going to be rooting for the Jays no matter what, embrace the villain role and you will be much happier than trying unsuccessfully to convince everyone else that the Dodgers are the heroes everyone should root for

Your daily reminder that no matter what Gavin Newsom or his team says or does, he still sucks and shouldn't ever be President.