I like how right in Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare inserts a verse/song that’s just “men ain’t shit please ignore us”

I just heard “the grass is greener where you water it” and it makes my brain happy

$4 per pig ear is a pretty fucked up price to charge for actual garbage

Trump should have to do every event in a school

Never make serious plans with anyone before you hear the voice they use to talk to pets

The US cannot organize its own Gulabi Gang soon enough

idk who needs to hear this, but no matter how much you obsess about the idea, the world is not going to send you its honorable and tortured airship captains (it’s me, I need to hear this)

Queen: Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all? Mirror: That’s a really insightful question, and I’m SO glad you’re asking it—

It’s weird to hear about people in Norway not feeding kids who visit their house. My Norwegian family that came to the US in the 19th century fed everyone who came through the door, and would try to lure you inside for hospitality if you weren’t planning on entering. grandma fed the meter man

If LITERALLY ALL labor were automated, I’d break, and start a town where people actually do things for each other

I’m doing my best to overcome my visceral disgust and hatred of bugs by remembering they’re actually little guys with jobs

Every man alive today needs to watch all of Quantum Leap

Anyone who says they have an indigo child and refused medicine for them should be investigated by CPS

Nonsensical insults are actually way funnier and more effective, you absolute pancake

I just heard a Brit pronounce the name “Jacques” as “Jackiez” and something in me broke

There’s something super comforting about cryptid search documentaries and I hope they never go away. Vague mystery, extremely low stakes, you know the ending, people being ridiculous, some local culture. Absolutely something cozy to put on in the background, especially if it’s about a lake monster

Other white people get afraid of white “extinction” and I’m just like, I know it’s not real, but if it were Why are you complaining Do you have any idea how silly it is to be allergic to the sun and have to wear sunglasses on a cloudy day

I feel bad for Sydney Sweeney because nobody will let her just act and work, it’s always gotta be “haha we own you libs” or “the woke left got to my boob princess”

Vampires that aren’t like bats but mosquitos and are attracted to lights, so to protect yourself you put a very large bug zapper in your living room

Saw that post about Dracula being in a castle bc he was a count, not bc he was a vampire, vampires don’t live in castles But what if they do? What if they have very specific habitat requirements and a city has to construct N many castles for accessibility

Musk looks like he got in a fight with a 90s vacuum hair trimmer. He has a reverse tonsure. He has an island of hair in a sea of scalp. What is going on

Reminder as this new HP stuff comes out: remain kind and gentle to the children in it. Tear up whatever else you want.

Looking back, the reason HP went virally popular more than, say, The Worst Witch (which is one of the things JKR ripped off to make HP), is that merchandizing is built directly into the text. The books got you thinking about objects you could own. WB saw that and ran with it.

If a sci-fi writer included a shrimp that could generate more noise and heat than a space launch, everyone would have vilified them, so I never wanna hear any complaints ever again, this planet is incredible

Why is nobody paying attention to this issue? Have we tried making a sign out of balloon letters in front of a painted brick wall?

You should be fucking banned from calling a job entry-level if it requires any experience AT ALL. How do people even get ANY experience in that environment?

the human body was not designed to know what the worst person in the world is doing every fifteen minutes

The US is so bad at being fascist. We can’t even be Japan

the feminine urge to have aughra’s orrery. And horns

my super power is I can yell like the landlady in kung fu hustle

As a dog owner especially I am starting to get absolutely feral about people who don’t pick up after their dogs

Emotionally I am wearing footie PJs and eating a kids cuisine on the couch while watching the narnia miniseries. It is 1990

If I have to see one more video where a white woman with long nails and a sweater with long fuzzy cuffs taps on something and shows me how to assemble it aesthetically, I’m going to scream

Petition to start saying it was your local cryptid you saw doing the crime you’re being asked about

I really love how as time passed, the west gave the Irish access to whiteness, and they really said "Gabh transna ort fhéin"

Egypt is so ancient that when you study ancient Egypt you have to clarify precisely how ancient your Egypt is

These days, Senates have totally forgotten the meaning of the Ides of March

Jungian psychology is the only framework that has ever actually read me for filth

you’re the kind that wears sandals to the dog park ain’t ya

Instead of spending 10 billion dollars bombing Iran, may I suggest the government simply give the money to me

What am I supposed to do when I’m the one who needs some me-espresso

A major consolation right now about living in the US is at least I can’t live near any US embassies

this is loco of the fourth kind

tfw your government’s so evil, corporations draw the line

Don’t worry about the DOJ deleting files, I’m sure they’re all in the recycle bin

I need you to understand that if aliens had made contact and if presidents were told about it, Trump wouldn’t have been able to shut up about it

Sure we can keep an insurance system. If the people denying claims have to experience the problem the medications would fix Sir for 24 hours you have severe eczema

They’re not detention centers. They’re concentration camps. They’re places they keep innocent residents they kidnapped. The US has had them before. Call them what they fucking are. CALL THEM WHAT THEY ARE.

idk who needs to hear this rn but you are allowed and even expected to change your mind about figures you like when you find out they’re monsters. It’s normal. Come join us in the normal world and we can all stop monsters together.