Me: “My calendar is fully booked this week. My next availability isn’t until next week” Him: “I thought you were a low volume provider” Me: “Correct. Low volume means I only have space on my calendar for a few new clients each month, while also holding space for established clients / regulars” /1

Spent $3k on Tirzepatide over the last 6 months =0 lbs lost 🙃👍 Increased my thyroid meds by 30mg for 30 days =6 lbs lost 👀👌

slow mornings 🤍

The prompt was: “Providers, what’s one thing you wish clients understood more about this work?” Answer ⬇️⬇️⬇️

This place in Noe Valley has ice cream made from just one ingredient: frozen bananas 🍌🥶 No dairy. No added sugar. Someone please take me back here for a proper date on a sunny afternoon 🥹

🧵: I really appreciate it when clients show awareness and attunement when it comes to time boundaries. It shows me that they understand etiquette and respect the professional container. Etiquette in this industry is not always common sense. It is something clients learn along the way. /1

🧵ADHD hack My life completely changed when I: - accepted that I am not a morning person - embraced my chronotype + structured my life accordingly - aligned my schedule + availability with the windows of time when my energy levels naturally peak I had to leave the corporate world to do this. /1

SF is not a real place (part 2)

“People will say it felt natural, or effortless, or that they felt understood without having to explain themselves. They’ll call it a connection, or chemistry, or a spark. What they’re describing is skill. It’s someone holding a lot at once and making it feel like nothing at all.” That last line🥹

SF isn’t a real place because what do you mean you have bone broth ON TAP and you serve bone broth lattes???

Can we please stop calling it “trauma dumping” when really the person you’re having a conversation with just stopped masking for 10 seconds and told the truth?

on the hunt for the perfect vintage mirror

Live every day like the universe is putting on a private show just for you 🌺 #oursky

u up?

When normies ask what I do for work, I tell them I’m a virtual assistant. The problem with this is that they usually want to hire me and I have to graciously say that my plate is full 🙃 (I charge $1k per hour at my real job, so no, I don’t actually want to be anyone’s VA)

spotted in the bathroom of a local coffee shop 🤭

Once in a while, a newbie will ask *me* to send them *my* ID and a selfie because they feel that is only “fair” since they had to provide theirs during the screening process. Do not do this. It is never appropriate to ask an escort for something like this. That is not how this process works.

fancy a game of peekaboo?

fancy a game of peekaboo?

apologies for the nip slip 🤭

Is the lighting working for me or against me in this pic?

Me: *opens email from a potential client* Me when I see it’s a 4-hour booking: 😍 Me when I scroll down and see the words “well-endowed with a beautiful dark member for your complete visual and physical pleasuring”: 🔫🔫🔫🔫 If you are explicit in your inquiry email, you will never hear from me.

PSA: If you sent me an email or an inquiry via my website between May 30 - June 3, it probably bounced back / didn’t go through. Please try sending again! Friendly reminder to everyone to increase your inbox storage on Proton! I just learned this lesson the hard way 😩

Your email: “31, white, 6’3”, 170 lbs. No, I will not tell u my real name” VS His email: “ID & LinkedIn attached. I once made my own DMT, I’ve done the Gateway Tapes, & I think Peter Thiel is the Antichrist. Happy to chat more when we meet. lmk where to send the deposit” Guess who I booked with 😇

Hottest notification ever to wake up to

What if we kissed in front of the gluten-free/sugar-free/dairy-free ice cream shop?

First date idea: we release endangered baby sea turtles back into their natural habitat 🌊🐢

Tip: Pre-booking helps me end up in your city quicker

u up?

If you are one of the 8,000 Meta employees laid off today, my heart goes out to you 🥺💔 I’m here if you need a shoulder (or chest) to cry on and a safe space to talk shit over dinner

Ate the best gluten free burger of my life in Sedona 🤤 Cherry aioli + roasted jalapeño = mouthgasm

Having so much fun in Seattle, I decided to stay a little longer 🌹 Shoot your shot before I saunter back to the Bay Area!

Seattle: it’s only been 24 hours but you’ve already charmed my pants off. ✅ good food ✅ perfect weather ✅ whimsical aesthetics Here for a few days if you catch my drift💋

First time? Don’t be nervous. You’re in good hands 🫶

Babygirl’s first time in Seattle! ✨Thurs 5/7 - Sat 5/9✨ Who wants to show me a good time while I’m in town?

one of my favorite admirers bought me my first Honey Birdette set 🥹

brb busy hunting wildflowers in the desert 🌻✨🌵

Thank you to the OF subscriber who bought this skirt off of my wishlist! I love it so much 🥹

I live in paradise ☀️

There’s a longer, better version of this video available on my OF. Hint: it has a face reveal at the end 😉

Gen Z clients: “you’re soo bad” “Sheeesh” Millennial clients: “you’re so hot” Gen X clients: “you’re so sexy/beautiful” Boomer clients: “your breasts are magnificent”

One of those days where I can’t be bothered to change out of my bathrobe

“Before I book, can you tell me more about what I can expect during our session?” I actually prefer that clients do their research ahead of time & feel certain they want to book with me before they reach out. I assume when you reach out, you already know I am the provider you want to work with 😇

ready for sundress weather ☀️

I love to get lost in lingering glances and covert caresses as we nibble on kampachi and banter about the existence of UFOs, the ethics of AI, whether or not Burning Man is past its prime (spoiler: I’ve never been so I wouldn’t know).

I once sold everything I owned and embarked on a 3-month road trip through a foreign country I had never visited before - simply because adventure mattered more than status.

I’m a walking paradox. I crave structure and consistency, yet I don’t wake up to alarm clocks. I train my body strategically, but today I postponed the gym because the urge to bask naked in the sun felt more honest.

Born to be an old world courtesan, forced to deal with internet censorship and cryptocurrency

Support my videography hobby so I can prove to my professors that my broadcast journalism degree didn’t go to waste 📚🎥 OF: @violetVIPuncensored

My confidence makes me seem taller than 5’7”