Happy Hogswatch Eve to those who celebrate

Taken an inventory of the freezer. Sooo much frozen rhubarb. Now I am frozen, like a bag of rhubarb.

Scriptorium alert: If you see twelve lords a-leaping today, it is the ten lords (plus two substitutes in case of injuries) getting some practice in for their turn in about three weeks.

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes have been using woke fonts. This is nothing new. They’ve been using woke fonts since writing was first invented. Woke hieroglyphs, woke pictograms, woke cuneiform, they’ve done it all.

Happy World Soil Day to all who celebrate!

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes have seen four blackbirds, or colly birds as they are also known (colly is an old word for coal-black)(see also collie dog). Alexa is insistent that the 12 Days of Christmas doesn’t start for another 3 weeks. The scribes are confusing it with Advent.

In the Scriptorium today, three Faverolles chickens have been sighted pecking for worms in the kitchen garden. The scribes think that this is a breed of French hen. Alexa the scullery maid has pointed out that the 12 Days of Christmas only start on Christmas Day, so these are early and don’t count.

In the Scriptorium, the scribes received a bare rooted pear tree and a Partridge Family Greatest Hits CD yesterday. Two turtle doves were on the bird feeder today. Bets are being taken for what will show up tomorrow.

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Somewhere between maybe a third or halfway through the additional chapters for “The Flipside Of Somewhen”. It’s odd to be writing something I’ve outlined having pantsed the first 70k words. I just hope that the join won’t show once it has been edited.

Looking out of the Scriptorium windows today, Black Hill has become white with the hill snow that fell overnight. Alexa (scullery maid) has nipped out to the shops to get more cocoa powder as tomorrow is promising to be frosty. The scribes are lobbying for the fire to be lit.

Finishing the final edit of the last three pages of “The Flipside Of Somewhen” and I realise that what I need to do is bin them and write 6 more chapters (length unknown) instead. This edit is not exactly going to plan. The ending is not what I thought it was. [Expletive deleted]…

#NaNoWriMo ? How about #NaNoWriWTFYouWantMo ? No word counts, no assumptions, no bigotry, nothing. Just write what you want, when you want. The rest can be figured out later.

I’ve been dwelling on a few things of late, such as the effects of AWS going down and how increasingly reliant society is on technology - see James Burke “Connections” The Trigger Effect (1978). Then I came across this again. I can still remember the opening shot of the scientist dropping the flask.

Note to self: in future, do not use an adverb for one of the main character’s name. The style checker is having a temper tantrum.

The scribes would like to state for the record that they do not pay a peppercorn rent for the priory. They were given the land by the monarch of the day for services rendered and built it themselves. Any peppercorns were for making peppercorn sauce and that’s the story they’re sticking to.

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes are attempting to determine the precise moment the information superhighway became the disinformation hypersewageway, as soon as their internet connection is back up and running, that is.

Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only.

In the Scriptorium today, Mrs Pritchett has been making more green tomato chutney from this year’s bumper crop. The scribes are leaving jars of it by the priory gates for passers by. All donations go to a worthy cause. Cheques should be made out to CASH (Charitable Alms, Scriptorium House)

Well that was fun. Editing “The Flipside Of Somewhen” and what started as cutting out unnecessary detail in a paragraph turned into 500 words of new material. The writing is a lot tighter, but I’m supposed to be pruning the dratted thing.

In the Scriptorium today, the gas lift in one of the swivel chairs has failed. The scribe sitting with their knees round their ears has been introduced to the concept of the standing desk. This is a Heath Robinson affair comprising of a desk piled on top of a broken chair.

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes are using the “by zombies” rule to weed out instances of the passive voice. The only problem is that it’s a book about zombies and the gate to the compound was forced open by zombies. They are investigating if verb + “by dragons” will work instead.

In the Scriptorium today, the cauliflowers have been coddled and the scribes are back to scribing. Translation: up to date in the garden and greenhouse so I’m back to editing “The Flipside Of Somewhen”

In the good old days (like last year), I’d be doing the last few jobs in the garden in preparation for winter. Having got a kitchen garden going, I’ve been getting the winter crops started and have never been so busy outside at this time. The writing has had to take a back seat for the time being.

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes have been sweeping the priory chimneys. It is a messy job and there are a lot of them. They now know how the Blackfriars got their name.

After other stuff getting in the way, I’m now back to editing “The Flipside Of Somewhen”. The start of the third section has the word “slowly” appear in three consecutive sentences. If nothing else, this is a good example of why we edit. For what it’s worth, all three are now gone.

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes received an eldritch tome, bound in black leather, with a burning eye set in a pentagram on the cover. The spine is missing, so they have no idea what the book is about, and nobody is prepared to open it to find out. It has gone to the bottom of the TBR pile.

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes are being taunted by the smell of green tomato chutney coming from the kitchens. There will be none for supper tonight as that stuff takes weeks to mature.

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes have heard that this may well be the day of the Rupture, and have been making support trusses, just in case.

Looked out of the window to see if the rapture has happened yet. Saw the milkman and a dustbin lorry go past. If everyone else has gone, at least the bins have been emptied and we’ve got fresh milk.

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes have returned from a long pilgrimage to to abbey of Vallonné La-Bas (literal translation: “hilly over there”). Expect more scriptorial shenanigans soon.

Well that was cathartic. LinkedIn sent an email about it using AI to scrape content so I’ve closed my account and told them why I’ve done it. Truth be told, I haven’t used it in several years so it’s no big loss. Still felt good to walk away.

Today’s mood* *no chickens were harmed in the making of this

Cor blimey! Look at me Charlie’s! Three Radiator Charlie “Mortgage Lifter” beefsteak tomatoes picked today. Total weight 1.3kg. The heaviest came in at 600g!

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I see the pound shop patriots are flying their Made In China flags at half mast. Did someone important die or are they just rubbish at climbing lamp posts?

🏵️🌿🌾🐌🍀🥀🍀🌿🌾🌿🏵️ 🥀 In the Scriptorium today, 🥀 🏵️🌿🌾🌿🍀🥀🍀🐇🌾🌿🏵️ the scribes are researching the finer points of how to fire a torpedo from a British interwar submarine at a 16th-century galleon. After due consideration, the phrase “Fire torpedo one” cuts past a lot of technicalities. #FlipsideOfSomewhen

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes are in the kitchen garden. Lunch is tomato sandwiches. Tea will be tomato salad. Breakfast tomorrow will be tomatoes on toast, and there is a strong possibility that lunch will be tomato soup. Mrs Pritchett is looking up recipes for tomato crumble for pudding.

Bitten by midges a couple of nights ago while drinking wine in the garden. The bites had eased off by morning. Today they come back up and itch like crazy. There is not enough calamine lotion in the world for how my skin is crawling. Will get more wine instead.

🏵️🌿🍀🐇🍀🌿🍀🌿🍀🌿🏵️ 🔷 In the Scriptorium today,🔷 🏵️🌿🍀🌿🍀🌿🍀🐌🍀🌿🏵️ the scribes are struggling to find the motivation to do anything even remotely productive. For form’s sake they’re looking busy to make the prior think they’re hard at it. What they want to do is knock off early as it’s nearly the weekend.

🏵️🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🏵️🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🏵️ 🔷❇️❇️❇️❇️❇️🍀🌿☘️🌿🍀🌿🔷 🔷❇️🟨🟨🟨❇️🌿🪶🌿🐕🌿🚀🔷 🔷❇️❇️🟨❇️❇️☘️🌿🍀🌿☘️🌿🔷 🔷❇️❇️🟨❇️❇️🌿🍺🌿🍅🌿🐌🔷 🔷❇️❇️🟨❇️❇️🍀🌿☘️🌿🍀🌿🔷 🔷❇️🟨🟨🟨❇️n the Scriptorium 🔷❇️❇️❇️❇️❇️☘️🌿🍀🌿☘️🌿🔷 🏵️🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🏵️🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🏵️ today, the scribes realised that they were telling and not showing, which made the writing boring and uninteresting so started rewriting. And increasingly verbing.

🏵️🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🏵️🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🏵️ 🔷❇️❇️❇️❇️❇️🍀🌿☘️🌿🍀🌿🔷 🔷❇️🟨🟨🟨❇️🌿🪶🌿🐕🌿🚀🔷 🔷❇️❇️🟨❇️❇️☘️🌿🍀🌿☘️🌿🔷 🔷❇️❇️🟨❇️❇️🌿🍺🌿🍅🌿🐌🔷 🔷❇️❇️🟨❇️❇️🍀🌿☘️🌿🍀🌿🔷 🔷❇️🟨🟨🟨❇️n the Scriptorium 🔷❇️❇️❇️❇️❇️☘️🌿🍀🌿☘️🌿🔷 🏵️🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🏵️🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🏵️ today, the scribes have discovered how much fun you can have with emojis

In the Scriptorium today, the scribes are busy picking fruit in the kitchen garden. Guess what colour their fingers are. First one to guess gets a punnet of blueberries* *winner to collect from the priory. No substitutes for the prize, unless you’re in the market for tomatoes. There’s a lot of them

“Flipside”: half a day (there were interruptions) to fix one paragraph that I couldn’t get the tone right for. It seems over the top but was necessary as it establishes the relationship between two characters who don’t get on. It should go more easily from here.

Editing “Flipside” and the spellchecker has thrown a wobbler at the extract from The Compleat Vissiter’s Gide to Sentennel, with Mappe. I’ve chosen not to add these to the dictionary in case it stuffs up later on when I haven’t deliberately gone off-road with the spelling.

In the Scriptorium today, the kitchen has been invaded by fruit flies. The thing is, there is no fruit in the kitchen, so these ones must be lost.

Another haul of red hot chilli peppers, now threaded and hung to dry. Hands have been washed *three times* after the last unfortunate incident. Tempted to make it four, just in case.

The local* free mag has the new mural of Dame Hilary Mantel by the street artist Deggy on the cover. It’s in Glossop town centre on the same wall as Dame Vivienne Westwood (both of whom came from Glossop). *local as in “a local shop for local people”, which if you know, you’re in the next league.