god i wish that was me

"me and who"ing about the 2007 Swiffer commercial with the bowling ball and mop

i'm heteroflexible and neurospicy with they/them energy in a tenderqueer way

coming to the crushing realization that i can't quit my job because that means if i quit my job i won't have the stress and a task to focus on and someone to tell me what to do and without that i'd be left alone with my thoughts and have to actually think about what i want in life and the horrors

they should make a prequel to Jason Bourne called Jason Birthe

why do movies always do foreshadowing. wouldn't it be a better twist if they never show it and at the end they're just like "oh yeah that checkov guy? he secretly had a gun this whole time!"

in an unforeseen twist of events, the unstoppable force has opted to go around the immovable object

i barely even recognize myself

if i had a clone i would have sex with them but it would be out of pity

republicans: "we need to make people suffer more" democrats: "erm... that's bad" *does nothing about it* your friend who keeps trying to convince you to give The Front Bottoms another shot: "no dude, you don't get it, it's supposed to sound bad"

I wish i had like. A remote control. That i could use to fast forward time. And also like pause it. I think that would be a novel idea.

I THINK YOU AND MY FRIENDS SHOULD HANG OUT O-O-ON THE WEEKENDS

on week 4 and my mental health has declined to a point where i am just unironically blasting skrillex all day

might fake my death and move to toronto but keep this on the dl

you can't spell skrillex without krill in the sex

Day 17. I am - as the kids would say - "crashing out big time"

oh my. fucking god,,,

animation industry must be laid to waste. i can't do another 6-day 60 hour week. We were not meant to spend our lives at a desk. The only "free time" i have now is at night and if i want to do anything it means being sleep deprived. I can't do this any more. No end in sight to this crunch.

why are trans women on my tl suddenly saying that spiro is bad. i haven't played much skylanders but isn't he the good guy

the world is a beyblade battle stadium and i am an extremely lost zhu zhu pet

"Your skin is so clear today" thanks i had a mental break last night at 3 am and spent an hour picking every hair out of my face one by one

criminally underrated TWIABP album

every single bill maher clip i have ever seen is just him saying something like "democrats are too woke now" and then it cuts to his emotional support friend who's sitting right next to him nodding and clapping for 3 seconds to give him positive affirmations, and it just repeats back and forth

they call it "adobe suite" because "adobe? sweet!" is what i say when i pirate it

hi guys welcome to my 2 hour video essay "everything is slop now" where i talk about how i think everything is slop now

Holy fuck I can't believe i got my hands on one of these. Can't recommend Crestfallen enough if you fw 2000s metalcore leaning screamo. Masterpiece

i really do understand why the animation industry has such a big alcohol abuse problem lmaooooo

-no anti-cop song -no sexy ass pic on the cover an absolute masterclass in neutering an album, maybe the worst consequence of the 9/11 attacks

starting a chastity cage company in his honor called Dick Chainy

listening to Stutterfly and i'm thinking "oh hell yeah this is really good early 2000s post hardcore" and then they just blindside you with a fucking mall emo anti-abortion song and it's like what the fuck were you thinking. but then you remember they're from kelowna and it explains everything

metallica is a nintendocore band because they will sue single mothers

i'm sorry i voted for andrew cuomo i thought he was the guy from weezer

Polycule so bad its the final fantasy house 2

you ever see a t4t polycule so bad it gets you thinking about the 1954 mouse utopia experiments

showing up to work hungover with 3 hours of sleep after spending the night drinking red liquid and kissing girls only to be hit with unexpected overtime

when i'm in a not answering the phone or having perscriptions ready on time or not staffing than one employee on at a time competition and my opponent is a loblaws pharmacy

hmmm tonight i will cry and listen to infant island

we're 11 days from halloween and i have yet to see a painfully unfunny "trans girl having sex with pumpkin" joke. maybe nature is healing.

guy who thinks the "they" in "they might be giants" is an antisemetic dogwhistle

got my hands on a 2002 ETID shirt today... we are so back

unionbusting my gangstalkers rn

i love when i tell people i work in animation and they ask me some shit like "oh so what's you're opinion on the hazbin hotel situation?". Like why would i have an opinion on that, i said i work in animation, not that i'm unemployed.

imagine being in middle school and minding your own business and then this motherfucker Greg starts drawing wojaks of you in his diary

i can't even remember the last time i felt so fly like a g6

got a frame for some of my special items :3

estrogen boner call that prog rock

Right Where It Belongs by NIN might actually be the greatest song of all time