Groove is in the heart, dubstep is in the pancreas

We bought and vacuum packed so much coffee before the tariffs hit. Been making the niece bring us home a free pound a week from work for a bit. Now she’s leaving Starbucks and we’re gonna have to pay for coffee again. Oofie doofie that’s gonna sting. ☕️🤕

Get yourself friends that understand you, so you can in turn make your mom laugh.

I’m absolutely a sucker for 31 nights of Halloween

Oh great my car insurance renewal is in and they want to raise it $127 a month because costs have gone up.

Her face is sliding off her skull from the weight of the make up Jesus Christ There is such a thing as too much plastic surgery

Good lord Nexstar is stealing and stacking up new talent like they know that Tegna deal is good to go through and the cap is getting lifted

How many games is the Chiefs' resident incel podcaster/kicker going to have blow out of nowhere for them to realize he shouldn't be in the league anymore?

I’m flying into NYC in a few weeks and I’m absolutely sweating right now

You absolute bums are you kidding me

The one week I needed the Bills 🤮 and they are currently knocking me out of survivor

The most coordinated triple flag throw you’ll ever see lmao

wtf? I guess more of my unassigned percentage has now been added. I became slightly more Jewish? and now I’ve got Italian, British, Irish, and Russian!?

Watching Bengals vs Lions bc my manager is in the end zone with his dad and bro. The second Burrow went down they convinced themselves to buy these tickets. As Lions fans living in Cincy, I get it. You finally have a chance to watch a murder on the field.

I was so close to taking the Dolphins in survivor. But I flat out told my husband when it was 17-0 they will find a way to lose this game.

I still can’t believe a second of this game. It had everything. It was absurd. They gotta figure something out before someone gets a career ending injury.

It’s over. Thank god it’s over.

This is the Florida Man of hockey games.

This game will never end… Just run the goddamn clock

At this point, I think we can stop calling this a hockey game. That's just not what is happening here. 🥊

Just grab people out of the stands to start making lines. You selling cheese fries, you’re in. You, random fan that drove from Tampa, lace up and get out there. Blake Wheeler, don’t you have a condo in like Boca? You still have time to make it down. Just hop on the Sawgrass. #GoBolts

THERE’S STILL HALF A GAME TO PLAY!? Surely my prescription needs to be adjusted.

“So what’re ya in for?”

Jon Cooper lace up. They need you out there.

Man I’m running late. Let me just turn on the Bolts game and see - ohs no. #GoBolts

Cirelli just went through the Starbucks drive thru while my niece was there and she’s losing her mind. She waved to him and said hi, he waved back and said hi. “If I wasn’t in public I’d be screaming! I’d know that nose anywhere!” 😂

Happy October 3rd to all who celebrate

If you thought it being preseason would prevent the Battle of Florida from getting heated… you would be wrong 😌

Cats and Bolts just kiss already

Honestly just let Pat Maroon go out there and get it out of his system already. This man is legit angry he’s not out there fighting.

Thank you Brayden Point. But also how is it not the 3rd period yet… I had less gray hair when this game started

Pat Maroon just letting the world know how he feels about AJ Greer. I’m guessing they aren’t friends. 😅

It’s amazing any hockey is happening between these fights. If anyone else goes into the box they should all have to start paying rent. #GoBolts

Panthers/Lightning games are going to be 5 hours long now to accommodate all the fights between plays

Aw yes, hockey is actually back now. WHERE THE FUCK WAS HE GOING !? 😭

lolololol Yanni just doing Yanni things

If there’s a kerfuffle on the ice, just know Hagel will be there. Always.

Just a friendly reminder that REGULAR SEASON HOCKEY RETURNS THIS MONTH!!!!!!!

Now I’m really all up in my feels about Victor Hedman’s dog. 2 sets of flowers just showed up for Jersey. 😭🐾💐

The amount of money raised for the Tampa Humane Society in this little dude’s name over the years is crazy

Harry Hedman noooo 😭

Yes, letting everyone know they’ll be physically and mentally abused from the start without recourse is absolutely how you recruit. I’m sure the websites are crashing all at once to enlist right now. What a sales pitch.

Dragging top military leaders from their posts across the world to tell them they’re fat. Brilliant.

Ok maybe they have a point

Love that my coast guard buddy up in Maine went to bed early just to avoid this Jets v Dolphins game. “I’m not watching us lose to the Jets. I’ll never to get to sleep that angry.” Homeboy got a good night of sleep and W.

Of course they got the 2 point conversion. Of course. 😑

Just got a polling call about education and teachers unions in Florida. So that was interesting.

DA BEARS!?

Thank you to the Giants for knocking out 2 more people from survivor. Bless up. 🙏🏼

Dafuq is Buffalo doing against the Saints? I almost took that game in survivor bc it should have been a blow out.