You know I actually have no idea when I swapped from "I have no idea what that food is get it away" to "I have no idea what that food is gimmie a bite to see if I like it" but I'm vaguely upset at whoever got me to be the first way

You know I'm starting to rethink my "philosophical zombies couldn't exist" stance

Ok first off one of those freezers is for the half a cow I buy

My current working theory is Trump just wants to be popular. Like he'll after with anyone as long as her perceives then as being more liked than another person. He saw how the elections went and got popular the new NYC mayor was and now he just thinks he can get some of that attention

No one was really paying attention to what the Link's Awakening team was doing and that's how we ended up with a bunch of random Mario things in the game.

Ok first off lightweight cutlery is from Satan second off I thought I got all the damn cameras this place set up in my house

All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die, Charlie Brown

This is both a weirdly positive and supportive message and a sign this game probably isn't for me

Someone make up an excuse for my work then help me build walls all day instead

Historically considered a good friend and roommate with my interests

Hey if you've accumulated enough resources to end world hunger and still live extremely comfortably without working another day in your life with what's left, you personally are at daily for world hunger.

Man I love getting new lore stuff via voice notes for the Zelda games. I fucking hate having to have an app on my phone linked to my switch constantly open to do so. Who's braindead idea was that?

I see someone just played OOT

Hello I'm posting about your car's extended warranty

Hey who remembers jury nullification

If I'm responsible for some of the underlying tech that helps porn sites run does that mean I'm serving cunt?

Somehow my brain always wants me to say like, an actual name when people say this. Like ok I'm going to name it Tim.

Another reminder that you, dear reader, are not so much as the tiniest fraction as pathetic or unlovable as the richest person in the world. You are immeasurably cooler than this, somehow below absolute zero by comparison

You know I'm going to be hesitant at best my entire life to trust anything about this org no matter what. But they've been spot on twice lately and that's not a lot but it's weird it keeps happening

Everyone always asks about best friends but why can't I be worst friends with someone. I mean I care about them but I also haven't checked in on them in... Oh God three months? I should make sure they're still alive

Welcome to the Machine beats out comfortably numb any day to be anyways

Two sales wildly exceeds my expectations I'm very disappointed in those people

Oh ok

....I...I think my untreated regular depression might have covered up for getting mild SAD because it wasn't different enough to notice

Fish have committed credit card fraud

Me: ugh why does this game keep crashing when I play it Also me: at last I have finished building a physics based elevator to the literal moon

we heard you were talking shit

See this is why I head-butted people who tried to hug me when I was a child, it was self defense

Hey you know what leads to a weird search history? Typing this out, then realizing technically some of your work may be used by porn sites, and now you're curious if you can actually say you are a smut peddler so you're going to a bunch of them to check source code and network traffic

Ok that's it whichever of you fuckers was cursed to live in interesting times just come forward and admit it so we can freak with the curse we're all suffering it's consequences

Brb painting a cute little face on some of my power tools

When I arrive at the party

Winning the lottery and showering all my friends in raspberries.

Quick cloud flare is down all of the people you follow in IT are gonna post way more be sure to tell them you love them

Going to partner with my non bino friends to make products usually pointlessly gendered totally not gendered at all. "Antiperspirant string enough for a person but formulated for a person" "Human's daily multivitamin" "Razor for mammal hair"

Look I get differing priorities and executive function issues and other such things but you don't have to be perfect for a partner. You should genuinely try and expect them to try in turn, and that sometimes looks like acknowledging what you were trying didn't work and trying sometime else.

One of the undersold perks on not having kids yourself but having siblings with some is being able to hear the stories of the things those kids are saying knowing you don't have to deal with the fallout and awkward conversations from it

I am begging you if you are an author to file a claim and test this out.

You gotta warn a guy before you attack him this early in his morning Jesus

Good then they know they better get me my fucking money

At the school in Poole you may only sing Tool. www.bbc.com/news/article...

Why do I feel like this, best case, will automate body shaming/dysmorphia issues?

God I'm sick of all these parents micromanaging their children's participation in games "What do you mean he can't use that card in tournament play?" "Ok he lost where is he so I can take him home?" "Wait the shadow realm thing is real? I thought that was just a gimmick!"

I showed this to my dog and she just knocked my phone from my hands

Linus Torvalds being unfathomably based

In case you're curious how fluffy she is, she is not laying on my hand in this picture

You know Florida gets a lot of flak but PA has shit like a town whose entire news cycle was dominated by the Dunkin doughnuts burning down for like two months

Hey I found a time "good girl" doesn't work for praise kink but does for puppygirls

Get in the Toyota Hilux with the unspecified bed attachment we're going hunting

I still think it's weirdly funny that the shortest and most to the point emails and messages I tend to get at work are from other devs. "Hey does this idea work?" "Yeah as long as you make sure you cover X scenario" Really feeds into that printer meme