anxiety makes me bad at my job but also being me

the snow has finally arrived meaning I must equip the pack of tissues back into my coat inventory lest I look like this whenever I go into a building

May the universe grant me more confidence in my goals but not so much that I end up lecturing strangers trapped on a train with me like the guy in seat 14D

always trans baybeeee

im back

when I see people talking about ending the generational cycle of abuse I usually assume they're talking about refusing to reproduce rather than healing and radically changing to shed the beliefs they were raised with because fuck that shit is HARD

will writing queer horror fiction help heal the trauma or just exacerbate the wounds

baked a cake mix so I could eat my feelings

trying to be punk but the enormity of trying to understand others is more than I can grasp

best nap I've had in weeks and it's a crash after dumping out all of my Trauma

doctor's appointments make me feel bad inside

my emotions are strange and unknowable to me but in a different way than the dissociation when I started on this healing journey

in agony waiting for the solstice to come

all these emotional regulation skills and I'm still not in the moment

wish it was still socially acceptable to carve out a space for yourself by hand

I can't judge and think at the same time

how do you stop driving people away with the need to control everything until it makes sense

it's just a bad sleep not a bad life

hello winter hunger my old friend

trying to ride this latest wave of calmness as far as it'll take me

im just a lil baby rat squeaking for its mother

me internally during therapy: therapist friend? Therapist FRIEND?!?! no. therapist not friend. therapist therapist. therapist help but cannot friend. :<

if it were possible to scream and claw my way out of this body I would have done it already

my job is a box inside of a box inside of a box inside of a box inside of a box

is it better to use "Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux" or "On doit imaginer Sisyphe heureux"

if I knew how many more paydays would come to pass before the end of my life would I even change anything

the pain of being perceived and known is a weight equivalent to the weight of carrying around your shambling flesh

nothing in this world is free from the taint of being judged. not sociopolitical systems, not industries, not even cats

ideal states | patreon.com/lubchansky

do you ever imagine your life partner just passing away and how deeply you would rend your clothing, how fiercely you would gnash your teeth

work colleague just spent half an hour talking to me about the living conditions in FN communities and now my depression is streaked with guilt

ominous positivity or persisting despair, was the choice ever yours to make?

it's monday and the world remains an inhospitable and confusing place in which to exist