My favorite sneakers sound like high heels when I walk and I just feel so diva mother boots in them

A bit early for hump day but I'd like to fast-forward through the week 🤪

One last pool day for the end of my favorite szn

The real benefit of Nintendo Switch Online is listening to Splatoon music during a workout

Prog

Remembering that time I tried to use Duolingo as a dating app

Ironically pronouncing "enchiladas" the Moira Rose way until I forget how it's actually pronounced

The sun: *sets literally any time before 8 PM* Me: ugh I hate that the sun sets so early now

Nothing kills a gym crush faster than putting a weight back where you didn't find it

Resisting the urge to respond to the hot servers at this Brazilian steakhouse with "yes sir, I would like your meat"

Haven't been to the gym in a hot minute since I've been sick, hopefully I still look ok xoxo

Getting a Pokemon Go ad on Grindr is crazy

Not the pool but I found a pole

Ready for pool day

DAE feel like Cooking Mama when they crack open an egg or is it just me

Drinking hot coffee during the summer because Pride Month is over so I have to be str8 again

If I have to get dressed to answer the door, shit is going down

There's a special place in hell for people who take single dumbbells and don't put them back where they found them

I love upper body day

I just liked the lighting on my arms here

Sometimes I forget str8 people exist

Gay powers restored 💈

Impatiently waiting for an order that I forgot to actually confirm at checkout is very me-coded

At this point I'm rooting for the king in the Grindr ads to die faster

Happy Pride Month

should I just go to the gay cowboy birthday party like this

I can tell you from personal experience that ass tastes better than Folgers

WWE33D (What Would Expedition 33 Do)

when was the last time anyone got slizzered

my sleep paralysis demon is actually the pile of unfolded laundry next to me in bed

it's a harness and mesh kind of night

washing rice is basically the same process as douching

I should call him

you know you've made it when you become a Simpsons or a Fortnite

caffeine addiction is not knowing whether I need a nap or more coffee

refusing to add friends on Venmo because I want my count to stay at 69

the last time I felt truly alive was when I had a charged lemonade from Panera

doing my Neopets Food Club at a bar during a Sonic the Hedgehog night was not on my 2025 bingo card but slay

the only anime tiddies I want to see on a car are bara tiddies

me on a typical Thursday

str8 people are so exhausting omg

when DST melts the seasonal part of your seasonal depression away

I got my caricature drawn at a bar last night

my degen ass panicking at 1 AM because I forgot daylight saving time starts again today

between the new releases from Gaga, Lisa, and Jennie, this has been a good week to be a slur

This is fully a me problem, but I really hate people who superset using a machines/bench and then a bodyweight/dumbbell thing. Please just pick one piece of equipment and superset off of that thxxxx

the sheer homophobia of a restroom with bad overhead lighting

when you lie awake in bed and realize how that third cup of coffee at 7:30 pm might not have been a good idea

I can't believe you would do Mike Wazowski dirty like this 😭