You may be on to something ... or just on something.

Just once I would like this to spiral IN to control.

♫ And I'm here... to remind you... of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me. ♫

*ominous polka noises*

(Singing to "I'm gonna be" by the Proclaimers) And -I- would pawb five hundred maws... And -I- would pawb five hundred more...

I disagree with the song. There is definitely more than one way to rock. There are plenty of ways to rock.

I’ll slap you so hard, your existence will be erased from historic convention records!

I need to thank @alkalibismuth.bsky.social for teaching me how to edge a pancake.

I am having a I-wish-I-was-out-of-body experience...

Leave the car keys. You may start walking.

you better watch out you betTER WATCH OUT YOU BETTER WATCH OUT Happy Krampusnacht!

... then you put a mattress for a slutty person in it. Then it'll be a one whore's open sleigh.

Shh! ... you smell that?

Past me was awesome. Because they bought cookies and didn't eat them all. And now I have a snack.

If that dude just stopped speaking about 30 seconds before he stopped speaking ... his whole life would improve.

(A story thread)

Belly button thief!

Javier! Peel me another hot dog!

A 20 minute Li’l Guy drawing of me by @lizardbethart.bsky.social, who is fantastic to commission, btw!

Like gassy moths to a flame!

Bennie: Haggis and Pineapple Pizza... Sue: (slowly reaches for spray bottle.) Bennie: ACK! NO! NOOOOOOOOooooo

I regret that I have but two middle fingers to give you right now...

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear clown shoes.

Bennie: Wait? Are you littering? Sue: No. That would require me dropping kittens.

If you let ideas simmer in your mind like chili, ... sometimes good stuff farts out.

I know they say "you are what you eat" -- but I don't remember eating back pain and a bad knee.

The new Pope’s age is 69. N-… *bites fist*

We should open an Indian restaurant with a Lion King theme. Because we could sell HAKUNA MASALA.

IIIIII LIKE MAWSHMELLOOOOWS! "You heard it, folks! Sue likes marshmallows!"

Just in case you didn't notice that @moonstalker.net is on here. I have no explanation for the following pic other than it's @suedeer.bsky.social and things happen when people visit...

"Oh wow! There's a cute bunny in the back yard!" "... no, wait. It's just an enormously fat squirrel." #OhioWildlife

Sue: More toasting means more human. Bennie: ... Was that an Invader Zim reference? Sue: Yes. Bennie: You realize that cartoon is over 30 years old now... Sue: You shut your whore mouth.

Always bet on the fish.

"I knew it had something to do with (dramatic pause) my old nemesis (longer dramatic pause) MATH."

Sue: Interestingly enough, Tiamat showed up in a dream this morning. Bennie: Really? Sue: We were trying to escape from a house and then Tiamat showed up and I was like "Now it is DEFINITELY time to go..."

“HELLo, We’Ve bEeN tRyInG tO rEaCh yOu AbOuT yOuR sOuL’s VERY LIMITED LIFETIME WARRANTEE”

(singing along with the radio) Have a smokey-tokey Christmas! It's the best high of the year! Save your nose and don't do blow, maybe have yourself a beer...

I got wait listed for AnthrOhio, so now I’m forced to release Ripped E.T. Into the wild.

Hold on... I need to pull up reference so I can see where to put E.T.'s nipples...

STOP SAWING THE TABLE!

Murder is a legitimate form of self-care.

Bennie: I'm surprised there isn't a rock band called "Waste Band." Sue: It would be a teenage group. Bennie: Teenage Waste Band? Sue: (singing) Teenage Waste Band. It's just a Teenage Wast Band...

(in a Tiny-Tim voice) And God bleach us, ... every one.

This Bitch Hoofin’

*leaves the room and BURSTS BACK IN!* NO ONE EXPECTS THE CERVINE INQUISITION!

(singing along to "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" by the Eurythmics) Bennie: "Some of them want to UwU you. Some of them want to be UwU." Sue: Ugh. I hate it.

Man. My murder hand is getting real itchy...

Now. Now. Not everypony can be popufur. Some are celeb-kitties.

Bennie: “Sooo…uhh, *fidget* how’s your work week going so far?” Sue: *squint* “Ok, Whyyyy? …” Bennie: “Haha! Nothing ruined it yet? Haha!” *sweats* Sue: *squints hard* “Ruined?” Sue: *singing* "A'ight, stop whatcha doin' cause I'm about to ruin..."

Cirque du sommelier.