Javier! Peel me another hot dog!

A 20 minute Li’l Guy drawing of me by @lizardbethart.bsky.social, who is fantastic to commission, btw!

Like gassy moths to a flame!

Bennie: Haggis and Pineapple Pizza... Sue: (slowly reaches for spray bottle.) Bennie: ACK! NO! NOOOOOOOOooooo

I regret that I have but two middle fingers to give you right now...

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear clown shoes.

Bennie: Wait? Are you littering? Sue: No. That would require me dropping kittens.

If you let ideas simmer in your mind like chili, ... sometimes good stuff farts out.

I know they say "you are what you eat" -- but I don't remember eating back pain and a bad knee.

The new Pope’s age is 69. N-… *bites fist*

We should open an Indian restaurant with a Lion King theme. Because we could sell HAKUNA MASALA.

IIIIII LIKE MAWSHMELLOOOOWS! "You heard it, folks! Sue likes marshmallows!"

Just in case you didn't notice that @moonstalker.net is on here. I have no explanation for the following pic other than it's @suedeer.bsky.social and things happen when people visit...

"Oh wow! There's a cute bunny in the back yard!" "... no, wait. It's just an enormously fat squirrel." #OhioWildlife

Sue: More toasting means more human. Bennie: ... Was that an Invader Zim reference? Sue: Yes. Bennie: You realize that cartoon is over 30 years old now... Sue: You shut your whore mouth.

Always bet on the fish.

"I knew it had something to do with (dramatic pause) my old nemesis (longer dramatic pause) MATH."

Sue: Interestingly enough, Tiamat showed up in a dream this morning. Bennie: Really? Sue: We were trying to escape from a house and then Tiamat showed up and I was like "Now it is DEFINITELY time to go..."

“HELLo, We’Ve bEeN tRyInG tO rEaCh yOu AbOuT yOuR sOuL’s VERY LIMITED LIFETIME WARRANTEE”

(singing along with the radio) Have a smokey-tokey Christmas! It's the best high of the year! Save your nose and don't do blow, maybe have yourself a beer...

I got wait listed for AnthrOhio, so now I’m forced to release Ripped E.T. Into the wild.

Hold on... I need to pull up reference so I can see where to put E.T.'s nipples...

STOP SAWING THE TABLE!

Murder is a legitimate form of self-care.

Bennie: I'm surprised there isn't a rock band called "Waste Band." Sue: It would be a teenage group. Bennie: Teenage Waste Band? Sue: (singing) Teenage Waste Band. It's just a Teenage Wast Band...

(in a Tiny-Tim voice) And God bleach us, ... every one.

This Bitch Hoofin’

*leaves the room and BURSTS BACK IN!* NO ONE EXPECTS THE CERVINE INQUISITION!

(singing along to "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" by the Eurythmics) Bennie: "Some of them want to UwU you. Some of them want to be UwU." Sue: Ugh. I hate it.

Man. My murder hand is getting real itchy...

Now. Now. Not everypony can be popufur. Some are celeb-kitties.

Bennie: “Sooo…uhh, *fidget* how’s your work week going so far?” Sue: *squint* “Ok, Whyyyy? …” Bennie: “Haha! Nothing ruined it yet? Haha!” *sweats* Sue: *squints hard* “Ruined?” Sue: *singing* "A'ight, stop whatcha doin' cause I'm about to ruin..."

Cirque du sommelier.

(At Anthrocon) Remember: Blackmail first. THEN render assistance.

"The squirrel" ... Nature's snack food.

Bennie: If I bomb this interview, I'm gonna go for making a Yamcha crater. SueDeer: Please... do that outside ...

Tool-using is bullshit!

When you ask the deer to help label the marinara jars...

There needs to be a combination coffee and weed shop called "Higher Grounds."

From now on ATMs will be known as money-Daleks.

Do curds shoot out of a sneezing cheese?

This is a sniffing and biting simulator called, "Can I Eat It?"

By the clenching of my bum, something wicked this way comes...

Bennie: Don't count your clowns before they hatch. Sue: ... That phrase goes on the "Honey don't" list.

Bennie: (offers Sue Necco wafers) Sue: You keep your chalk tabs to yourself.

EPIC RAP BATTLES... PROTOGENS ... vs .. TOASTERS! Begin!

Sue: How dare you be this chipper in the morning? Bennie: It's noon. Sue: How DARE you...

Bennie: Look. We don't need caffeinated tomato sauce. Sue: YES WE DO!

Chris Rock was at Burning Man? Why?! ... Where's Will Smith when you need him?

Hey... his inmate number... (sings) one one three five eight-oh nine! It matches Jenny's number.