Renault was walking down the street, wearing his Phantom Rogue outfit. He had no plans to commit any heists tonight, but the purpose of being out was his weekly patrol and recon in case he needed to plan one later. The sound of sirens made his eyes widen, looking behind him as they got closer. --

"So, I heard Jet, Wave, and Storm took a little vacation to a place called New Amsterdam to help a local skater gang called the Bomb Rush Crew take over the city purely so they could beat the tar out of the local PD." "I hope they had fun."

(( I got distracted again. )) (( But in my defense it was me finally getting around to playing Bomb Rush Cyberfunk. )) (( Little did I know modding in Jet would actually give me the most real vision of "jet vs a dozen cops" that I dream up in my mind holy shit even the COMBAT is good in this. ))

"I've only had 3 and a half hours of sleep tonight...Is this what Jet feels like every morning?"

"Oh, Gods, Jet is doing the Legends Competition that forbids Ultimate Charge...you know what that means..."

"...The fuck you mean Honey the Cat is connected to that highway that Jet likes to race on?!"

Renault would walk up to a bunch of kids. "Excuse me, the garage is closed for the night. Y'all need to leave." The teens started snickering before one of them piped up. "Hey, sorry 'bout that man, what are the hours again?" Renault sighs. "Our hours are Monday through Saturday from 6 AM to --

"Just coming in for my...I guess sorta-irregular check up?" "...Yup, everything seems to be in order, I'll just go pass out while reading TV Tropes."

"...Uh, apparently I came at a bad time. I'm just...gonna...go." Renault was this close to jumping out of the zeppelin mid-flight again, though this time out of awkwardness.

"Well, let's see what Epic Games Store has for free today..." >Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night free for 24 hours "...Oh fuck the hell yes."

Renault was taking a walk in the city when he noticed a poster, reading it half-aloud. "Mumble mumble vehicular combat mumble mumble any wish granted...Pfeh, I feel sorry for the suckers who fall for this bullshit." "Let's say a wish does get granted, who's to say it won't bite you in the ass?"

"..." Renault's browsing a popular online shopping website for soldering irons.

Renault would check his mail, finding a letter from his benefactors. He opens the letter and grins as he sees they're raising their funding starting the next month.

"I swear, the more EXE's I see running around, the more I wanna stab someone in the knees with a soldering iron." "I'd be like stabby stab stab, how you like that shit."

(Made a crappy Fallout NV edit for @weerdough.bsky.social's stream)

"Back from the Doctor's..." "Thankfully Dr. Aquene didn't act creepy or psycho on me again."

"...Why the hell did we need to know that?"

"...No Twitch, just because I watch Jet stream himself in the Crossworlds Grand Prix doesn't mean I want to watch a stream of the Grand Prix from...TightPanties?!" "What the fu-- Who names themselves that?!"

Renault stands on the roof of Cardinal Motors and clears his throat before speaking into a megaphone. "Attention Metal City. Knuckles calls himself a treasure hunter, but the only treasure he hunts is the treasure of Ima Weener. That is all."

"While running my errands yesterday, I *may* have slipped into the zeppelin while it was docked and swiped a couple of Storm's Chicken Fajita Burritoes he kept in the freezer for emergencies and a bottle of soda from the fridge." "I mean, I left $10 on the counter to pay for it, but still."

"Jet. Down, boy. Do not the civilian airplane."

"Don't forget overpricing the shit out of everything because fuck it, people will buy it anyway."

How it started: Renault scoffed. "Hmph, if you genuinely think Sonic's that much of a 'hero', then I've got a bridge to sell you." How it went: Renault scanned the chasm using the scouter of his comms device. "Yeah, I think the bridge can span this. You'll have to connect the ends with it yourself"

"...Why the hell is Dr. Aquene posting horny on main?"

(Watching MoistCritikal's videos on the r/art subreddit mod meltdown, and I'm just like, "If this is the lengths people go to to prove they're right, then I'm perfectly fine being wrong.")

"...Fuck you, Sega, that's not just a low blow, that's a fucking dick punch."

("If you just practice, you'll get better!") (Me, having been RPing for ~20-odd years now and still complete trash at it:)

Renault would be in his Phantom Rogue alter-ego, watching over underground street races, and having just gotten into an argument with one of the more haughty racers after insulted Jet. "Look, all I'm sayin' is that turkey talks a big game but won't actually be serious about backing it up."

…I came to feel that everything was my fault. Far from becoming enraged 、I could not utter a word of complaint.

"Oh, c'mon guys, I'm not thrilled with Shadow either, but now you're just being dicks."

"Ok, status update, still feeling out of it, but maybe I'll return to something resembling normalcy tomorrow."

"Yeah, back from the post office, laid down for a bit, can about 75-90% confirm...I'm high as a kite. No idea why or how, though.

"So..." "Last night is one hell of a blur..." "All I remember is the song Mississippi Queen and some freaky drug trip visual of Jet leaving racers in the dust while piloting his Extreme Gear with a Guitar Hero controller..." --

(( Please stop me ))

(( God I love being equal parts fucking STUPID but also good at racing games. ))

@jetthehawk.bsky.social "I dunno whether to be impressed, punch you in the face, or stand aside and let Wave wrench you for plugging a Guitar Hero controller into your Extreme Gear and using it to ride around." "The impressed part comes from the fact you *still* managed to kick ass and take names."

"...HOW THE FUCK IS JET SMOKING EVERYONE IN THAT CROSSWORLDS GP WHILE PILOTING HIS EXTREME GEAR WITH A GODS DAMNED GUITAR HERO CONTROLLER?!" "I mean, I've seen him do some crazy shit before, but holy fuck." www.twitch.tv/weer_dough/c...

@jetthehawk.bsky.social "JET! NO! DON'T TRY TO CONTROL YOUR EXTREME GEAR WITH A GUITAR HERO CONTROLLER! JET!!!!"

"...Really?"

"Ew. Who put their IDW in Jet's CrossWorlds?"

Renault was sitting in the garage lobby, looking irritable. He hadn't eaten anything at all today. He COULDN'T eat anything at all. He had a doctor's appointment and needed to do bloodwork, so no food until afterwards.

IF HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO MAKE FUN OF HIM HE WOULDN'T BE SO SLOW. BRO'S THE TYPE OF SLOWPOKE IT TAKES HIM HALF AN HOUR TO COOK A BAG OF MINUTE RICE. BRO'S THE TYPE OF SLOWPOKE THEY DON'T TIME HIS LAPS WITH A STOPWATCH, THEY TIME 'EM WITH A CALENDER.

Words hurt. Don't be a bully.

"Ugh, I've felt like shit for 3 days now." "That's it, no more taking my morning meds at buttfuck-o'-clock in the morning."

yro.slashdot.org/story/25/11/... "Oh Gods, so it's true. The security in the Louvre was *pathetic*."

"Fair enough, I prefer iced tea myself too, but hot tea's supposed to help with a sore throat."

"Look, honey's good for a sore throat, alright?" He responded, seeing the irritated glare. Soon, he would have a cup of tea he'd place in front of Jet. "Here, try this, see if it makes your throat less sore. Probably best to go see Dr. Aquene, too."

"...A sore throat? You? How is that even possible?" Renault looked shocked and confused before reaching into a cabinet and pulling out a small bottle of honey. "Hang on, I know this probably ain't your thing, but lemme whip up some hot tea with honey to help with the throat."

"Uh...Jet? You ok?" Once again, the silence was deafening.

"Uh..."