Slightly diminish a book Oliver Pivot

me: I should eat healthier and spend less money fast food restaurants: have you tried our new giant box of shit tied in to an intellectual property you hyperfixate on? now only 34.99 before tax and delivery fees? me: listen bitch-

me: bona fide my phone: boba fife? did you mean fucking boba fife? the common, oft used phrase boba fife?

I love it when my parents are on a walk and I shout “YOU GUYS WANT CANDY?” from my car as I’m getting home from work

broke: I let a mouse kick me out of my room because I’m too weak woke: I let a mouse kick me out of my room because I have a fae princess like bond with woodland creatures bespoke: I let a mouse kick me out of my room because I read Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH and now I have empathy for rodents

what are ttrpgs if not an opportunity for you and your friends to bounce your adhd off one another

hallmark Christmas movies are a necessary evil that keeps heterosexual cinema from committing even worse crimes

after writing 1200 words a few days ago, I sat down to write today and immediately forgot how.

“Make sure your dog doesn’t lick my angsty lesbian art” - a real thing I said out loud to a real human person

I am manifesting more realistic goals and less tummy issues in 2026.

the next person who asks me to Make A Decision™️ is getting shit rocked into the middle of next month

Seventeen total beats without rhythm or theme is not a haiku

nothing like writing an essay outline at two in the morning after getting home from the movies to remind me that I no longer consume media in a normal way, if I ever did

My poem Prayer to Shachihoko is in the Fall 2025 issue of Metphrastics! #poetry #poet #amwriting

was driving down a street in a neighborhood I’ve lived in all my life and thought huh. there are more…dinosaurs…on this block…than I remember…

me: I should sleep curled in awkward positions with my wrists bent under my pillow also me: why ouchy

me: okay, let’s work on a non-embarrassing story idea brain: hnnngh giant robots me: okay this was predictably unhelpful

@adamstemple.bsky.social getting home from a weekend of gigs: and now my watch has ended (posted with permission because he can’t feel his hands)

hey did you guys know that at night the top of a water tower looks just like a ufo because I didn’t know that

I got mad about AI so I made this comic about The Fucking Point of it all (1/7)

I have shin splints and tendinitis and a master’s degree

me in class: the scene is effective because of the inherent humanness of this one transient moment also me in class: page 69? nice

me: great job, brain! we finished formatting! now we just have to send the email. brain: what if we do the e-mail wrong and the printers show up at our house and beat us up me: why do you always do this

the commercials I’m seeing are making me very concerned about the other people that enjoy this television program

me: alright brain! time to finish our thesis. brain: then why did you get a tetanus shot AND a vivid booster yesterday, dummy? we can’t feel our arms. me: okay I’m going to need you to check that attitude

me telling my dad where to take out semicolons in his manuscript 🤝 my dad telling me where to add semicolons in my manuscript

me trying to write a lesson plan

Hummingbird - A Haiku An airplane bathroom Is just a port a potty with motion sickness

there is a nonzero chance I will write a poem about Jane Austen and autism by the end of the day

Grad school has me designing dnd characters who gazed at forbidden knowledge and went mildly insane

hear hear

putting a warning in my master’s presentation for academic analysis of anime characters

me, playing tabletop rpgs: I will pepper in the fact that I had a pirate phase—

Sunflowers - A Broku The sun hides its face Two blooms turn to each other You’re my whole world, bro

Purim starts tonight!!

today my phone autocorrected duck to fuck? did I jump timelines?

should I feel bad that 50% of the things I've done today have been "watch fall guy"

normal holiday convo with @adamstemple.bsky.social

My first book (co-written with my grandmother came out one year ago today! #amwriting #kidlit

Texts to my best friend range from “the pain gel smells bad” to “do you think this guy was haunting the narrative”

me, silently crop dusting my table during the writing through multiple senses workshop: Life Imitates Art

when I was a kid and made a wish on an eyelash I wished for superpowers. now I just wish for Tylenol.

Just taught @adamstemple.bsky.social how to use caps lock on his phone. I’m sorry in advance.

Today’s “your experiences are not universal” moment is hearing @adamstemple.bsky.social play the organ through the vents while I’m trying to Use the Facilities™️

I have a Patreon! Haven’t posted in a while, but I’ll be starting updates again this summer. www.patreon.com/aristemple?u...

watching hockey while sick is so embarrassing. just croaking weakly “no stop” “didn’t like that”

helped a friend with a syntax issue today

you: please act normal you need these people to like you people: hello ari nice to meet you me: so he’s hyper performing masculinity while simultaneously using his sexuality as a weapon, so he essentially becomes a femme fatale, engaging in two separate performative identities concurrently

I’m very fun at parties.

me, trying to stay casual and fun about being sick: I’m actually like violently ill rn lol