Life was better when we used to get gold stars from our primary school teachers for doing good work. Adults should get gold stars when they do some A+ adulting such cleaning the bathroom and filling tax returns on time.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I think we might be in the Bad Place.

Yesterday when ordering a coffee I said thank you three times and then a further three times when it was served. Yes I am British.

In the UK the only correct response to trying the toilet door when you don’t realise it’s occupied by a colleague is to be NOWHERE in sight once they emerge.

“I’m a professional author,” I whisper to myself, as I google how to spell ‘fiery’ for the eleventy billionth time

The single braid is a very popular hairstyle for romantasy heroines

My 14yo is keen to see Jurassic World Rebirth. I have volunteered to take him to see it when the time comes in a selfless act that definitely has nothing to do with the fact that it stars Jonathan Bailey wearing adorable glasses

Forming my own quest squad. Basically, the mission is to read books without judging others’ book choices, drink coffee, and eat pastries all while under fleecy blankets in front of a log fire. Who’s in?

‘It’s just not my cup of tea’ is the highest insult in British culture

Fellow people who are attracted to men—find yourself someone like my husband who this evening twerked on our driveway to welcome me home from work.

I am “strained my back just from sitting at my desk” years old.

Last year I got some new author photos done by the fabulous Julia Boggio! In the process of switching my website, social media, and agency/Amazon bios to these 😍

Perhaps if my memory weren’t so intent on remembering (with excruciating frequency and detail) all of my four decades of embarrassing moments, then perhaps there’d be room to remember important things such as where I left my keys.

Over the Christmas period whenever anyone mentions having some cheese I am obliged by law to sing in reply “No cheeses for us meeces”

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals 🎄

Today I have heard Elton John’s Step Into Christmas four times in the wild.

I had a lovely time signing books at Book Lovers Bookshop in Edinburgh last weekend!

Am I meant to be writing? Yes. But instead am I watching the Aussie version of Death in Paradise? Also yes.

❤️Only 99p during December!❤️ Falling in love can sometimes go off-piste… rb.gy/f9vxk

The sky has been looking very pretty this week 😍

This event is coming up this weekend, Saturday 30th November at the Book Lovers Bookshop in Edinburgh! 😍 Tickets available here: www.bookloversbookshop.co.uk/events/books...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT’S FROM NOT FORM

Naughty Storm Bert has hit Scotland! How do you get the gig of naming storms? Reckon I’d be great at it. Next up would be ‘Storm Cleopatra Calypso, Queen of the Wind’ followed by ‘Storm Darcy Dagwood, Lord of Ice’

If anyone fancies a festive read! Running into your ex at a festive party is awkward. Even more so when he’s practically naked except for a tiny apron, serving drinks… linktr.ee/zoeallisonau...

To do list: Meet Me Next Christmas ☑️ Hot Frosty The Merry Gentleman Our Little Secret

Trick or treating for adults but we get gifted books instead of sweets

That bookish urge to cancel all weekend plans and stay at home and read (under a fleecy blanket with a hot drink)

Romance tropes = little boosts of serotonin 😊

Me: ok, time to write! Also me: cleans bathroom, vacuums house, does taxes, re-arranges the sock drawer…

The Back to the Future trilogy was on Sky all weekend and now I can’t get that song off The Enchantment Under The Sea Dance out of my head.

‘The best hook in a book I have read in a long time!’ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ‘Gave me warm and fuzzy Christmas vibes.’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘A brilliant read’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Ex-Mas Holidays releases in the UK today! Treat yourself for Chrimbo: amzn.to/46fZ68q

Me: only a few more words to go and I’ll reach my writing target! Brain: cool let’s check social media for a few hours.