If people wanted you to write more warmly about them, they should have behaved better - Anne Lamott 🤣 🤣 🤣

Few, if any, fonts have the staying power of Times New Roman.

She had the kind of benches, that made walking men come be benches that made she-men walking become kind.

Who needs Gordon Lish when you've got Claude!

Added some updates to my website, including a new short story - Bumper Wordsearch. Have a read: www.gerardmckeown.co.uk

Added some updates to my website, including a new short story - Bumper Wordsearch. Have a read: www.gerardmckeown.co.uk

I keep seeing clips from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead, and I really need to watch the full thing. Which streaming services have it? (I'm outside the US but can use a VPN if necessary).

May has come, and with it my new collection Blurred Edges, now available for preorder. Twelve stories, a foreword by Laura Black @fictivedream.bsky.social, and artwork by Geoff Staden. Huge thanks to both, and to Renée Sigler, @ballerinibookpress.bsky.social ballerinibookpress.ch/product/blur...

I wonder if so many marketing companies are using AI in the same way that politicians spout known lies: when people recall a lie, they don't necessarily recall that it was a lie.

Millwall still in with a good chance of making the Premiership. Bring on the play-offs!

C'mon you trainspotters! #millwall #premiership

My short story Remembering the Dead has been published today by Litro www.litromagazine.com/uncategorise...

My short story Remembering the Dead has been published today by Litro www.litromagazine.com/uncategorise...

Friend who works in customer support told me she's regularly told she's an AI bot. Humans are already failing the Turing test. Skynet has arrived.

Will Hormuz be the US's Suez?

Remember when President Trump was just a funny throwaway reference on The Simpsons. If someone invented a time machine that could take us back to then, they'd rake in the dosh

Durian tastes and smells like someone wiped a dog's arse with an onion

I'm making a list of conversation topics for people who don't have a personality. So far I've got pineapple on pizzas and is Die Hard a Christmas movie. Any others?

Calling it now. Milllwall will be in the Premiership next season.

Watched I Swear tonight - the biopic of Tourettes awareness campaigner John Davidson. It really is a must-watch movie: informative, funny, painful but uplifting, and with a first-rate cast.

If there was a version of Royal Kingdom that was even half close to the one in the adverts, people might actually play it.

Young Catherine and Hareton > Cathy and Heathcliffe

Suella Braverman defects to reform. Also in the news: Bears shit in the woods.

I'm really hoping websites make a comeback this year. They're not as draining as social media and mine could do with the hits. www.gerardmckeown.co.uk if you're interested.

Why is it called Alvin and the Chipmunks? Alvin IS a chipmunk. It should be called Dave and the Chipmunks.

My short story Baltic Christmas is on BBC Radio 4 this afternoon at 3:45pm. Listen in. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

My short story Baltic Christmas is on BBC Radio 4 this afternoon at 3:45pm. Listen in. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

Given the significance of the tarantula in Home Alone (without it Kevin gets caught), should spiders be considered Christmas animals? Sub question: can you reuse Halloween (spider) decorations at Christmas?

Utterly delighted to be joining Ballerini Book Press, with a new story collection, Blurred Edges, planned for publication in the first half of 2026. Huge thanks to Renée Ballerini for this wonderful opportunity. ballerinibookpress.ch/author-signi...

I have some short stories on my website that are no longer available online. Wish I'd added UVB-76 just because I might have got a few visits from stray googles.

Even though Scrooge changed his ways and became generous, his name is still used to describe people who are like the old Scrooge. This just isn't right!

Philomena Cunk's face when she's told Aristotle never said, "Dance like nobody's watching," is comedy gold, all because of some very fine dramatic acting by Diane Morgan

Been listening to my Spotify Wrapped over the past few days. A number of songs reminded me of my dad and my cat, who both passed away this year, so it's been bittersweet, but overall a good experience.

I have a new story playing on BBC Radio 4 on Boxing Day. Perfect to listen to if you're getting cosy while waiting out a turkey hangover www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

I'd forgotten how colds tend to linger, especially when you wanted to do something at the weekend.

A spoken word piece I did during lockdown. I always liked how this one turned out. youtu.be/_sKqzDo3t8A?...

A spoken word piece I did during lockdown. I always liked how this one turned out. youtu.be/_sKqzDo3t8A?...

This place resembles LinkedIn. No one seems to want to be here, but it feels like they've been told they need to be here. Can we just get Musk to sell Twitter to someone who isn't a first class goatse.

What's going on over here capitalistdefectors.com

The first time in a long time I'm going to work on public transport during rush hour when I'm underslept and have a cold coming on, also it's raining. It's every bit as dire as I remember. Whatever you thought of Covid lockdowns, they proved we didn't need to do this.

Get absolutely fucked

Today is pay day! Let's play, how fast can I go broke again!

The only reason Bangor was made a city was to stop people laughing at Lisburn.

Quick spring clean, then a nosey to see what's going on.

Honoured to return to @fictivedream.bsky.social today with The Shape of Moments, a twin of an earlier story, Backgrounds. Very grateful to Laura, also to @kerryhp.bskyb.social and @[email protected] for encouragement to explore these characters further.

Trying to make a list of bands, groups, performers whose names are always said incorrectly eg Hall & Oates apparently should be Darryl Hall & John Oates (according to Oates). Any others (exclude bands who should have a The at the front of their name, but people often drop it).

I just verified my age on here. Where is the porn?

Thanks @gerardmckeown.bsky.social 💯 I've now playlisted your post, see the details in the post below. Please help out by following, listening, and sharing this playlist! Post me more whenever you like 😀

🎵 AzureSky Harmonies 🦋 - Hourly Fresh Picks Thanks to our latest contributor(s), choosen from 5 incoming post(s): • @gerardmckeown.bsky.social • @betosando.bsky.social • @tesc54.bsky.social 🔁 to spread the word and help us reach more music lovers!

📌 #1 Added to playlist: "Pink Snow on a Moon of Neptune" by Capitalist Defectors Can Be Bought