Who has two thumbs and just had to explain Omegaverse to their father in law at dinner? 🫠

My wife and I are discussing our celebrity “hall passes” and I think it’s nice we both have the cast of What We Do In the Shadows on our list. Strong couple communication and shared values. 🤣

Hey so remember how I posted this? I may have applied to grad school...

Had a dream I discovered Coolio was gay and there was a secret verse where he talks about what he has to do to stay said from other gangsters in Gangster’s Paradise, so if anyone is a dream interpreter, have at it. And no, I haven’t been on an 80s/90s rap nostalgia trip lately.

Y'all. Never let me do school again if I'm working full time. If I start making those noises, please whack me with a pool noodle or something. This semester is MISERABLE.

You know what? Fair, Luke. Totally fair.

Love how my two “best friends” expect me to care and react and be there for them when life-altering events happen, but when it happens for me, apparently I don’t get the same treatment. It’s been over 24 hours since I told them of something life-altering for me, and *crickets*

Made the mistake of playing “am I hungry or is it depression” all day (I was hungry)

I miss my old writing community 😭

This pyrite was super excited to be on display at the Museum of Natural History.

please meet Alex the Great, a therapy bunny who works at the San Fran airport and now Giants games to help people who are overwhelmed LOOK AT HIS TINY BALLCAP. LOOK AT IT.

Ok but why am I falling in love with the idea of moving to DC? Is it all the pride flags and the indie bookstore? It’s the pride flags and indie bookstore, isn’t it

Ok but what if we all faked our deaths to get out of our student loans

So I think I got blocked from the DoE’s DEI snitch site? I’m sending in serious reports, people

Listen, I don’t know how to do it so don’t tell me to just do it. If someone doesn’t take the part of Papa V spinning in the Satanized video for Ghost and put “You Spin Me Round” by Dead or Alive, it will be one of the greatest missed opportunities ever.

Resist 😘✌️

Guess it’s time to take down the Christmas quote and put something else up, huh

Hey so my intrusive thoughts are less “hurt yourself” and more random memories like “remember that time your dad said your voice sounded bad because you’re fat and you’d sound better if you got in shape?” It’s not just me, right?

Pure bliss

This is beyond dystopian. We don’t even use that much electricity.

This is Moose. He’s had a very long day. Tried to go down some stairs but got stuck. 13/10 someone please help Moose

Sometimes having an Asian food and anime night is just good for you.

🤬🤬🤬 I thought it was cancelled yesterday

Charlie is amazeballs! Please help them out. Any amount helps!!

A resolution we can all get behind

When you find out your office is doing charcuterie and champagne at work tomorrow, it makes things a little more bearable 😍

Stormy day today. Perhaps it’s time to make a pot of tea and do some writing? 😍

I think my two year burnout from writing is starting to go away. 🥹🤞🤞

How tf do I get my hearing aid to stop itching my ear? I spent too much money on this thing for it to be an issue 😭

I’m supposed to be getting up to shower but this is happening sooooo…

Forgot to wish you all a Merry Christmas Adam yesterday

My mom gave @crowonatree.bsky.social an early stocking stuffer today in memory of our kitty we lost in July 🥹

I hate this part of Christmas.

What’s Christmassy about Starbucks’ Christmas Roast this year. Is this a case of just slapping “Christmas” on it and charging an arm and a leg more? More at Eleven.

This horrid year will be over in two weeks and I can’t wait

I want to know what happened to warrant the need for a warning label on my toothpaste of “do not use in or near eyes”

Two people outside ministry leadership showed up. 🫠

I swear if no one shows up to this party I’m just going to drink all the wine by myself.

“Christmas Pageant Rehearsal”: the boys are huddled together and knocked over the donkey but they aren’t going to pick it up, the girls are hanging out, the angel’s that one annoying kid who always said “you guys, stop talking!” (It’s me, I was the kid.) Courtesy of either Hudson’s or Mochi’s tail.

It’s been almost six months since we had to say goodbye to one little friend, and almost three months since we came home with Mochi (the calico) and boy do I love how she and Hudson have become thick as thieves.

Glad to see that while this is a different app, we STILL DON’T HAVE AN EDIT BUTTON.

I opened the bottle of Tums (btw never get the frozen shepherds pie from Aldi, it was a mistake) and both cats came running in here thinking it was their treat container

Why does my office smell like buttered corn

How was the polka band in Home Alone not named Strangers With Candy?

I don’t know if it’s because it’s Friday the 13th or I’m just done with life in general but nothing is being taken seriously today.

Trying to find my old Twitter people on here and I’m starting to get sad that some won’t be on here.