[WOKE DROWNING POOL]: let the bodies keep the score

early survey results say maoist standard english is the new mama-loshen for jews under 35

been hangin on to this one

tgirl friend at party: yeah she's fine i guess but just brace yourself for when she's had a few drinks and starts talking about what kind of gay guys she thinks everyone would be if we lived in the 40s me [approaching after two IPAs i frankly hated]: hey guys i just had this funny idea,

WOKE TONY SOPRANO: are you saying there's a chance i can make penisary contact with his volvo

[provocative gungan drawl] all we are saying is give meesa chance

regularly working out in a 2016 russian circles concert tee gotta be up there for "clockiest shulamith behaviors"

really cool that i’m part of the select sub-1% of the human population who knows what "snuffbait" means

how my rabbi looks at you when you spell it chanukah instead of khanike

[recounting when i made my circle k sandwich edible by pretending i was chawin on a boy's meaty 3incher]: ...and in my heart that night was when i truly became a woman [whimpering hostage]: is that loaded [loudly]: bro last night with you was an amv

*5 years detrans working as a Sanitation Technician at the landfill with coworker* him: lol, check this out. anime body pillow me [pretending not to know the word "dakimakura"] yeah bro we strayed from Christ for sure

[rapidly typing] "age-regressing to 70 years old so i can do natural death snuffplay" [looking up at the oneg table] baruch ata ad-

"what can i even wear to work tomorrow?" <--question that functions also as proof of a god that exists but does not love

tch. it's a good cock, i'll give you that. the shaft curves nicely & the veins add an elegant splash of color. but gotta show the balls more love or you'll never cut it in this kitchen

if i'd been there they would've called him yaoi gagonit that's all i'm gonna say on the matter

angrily chasing down the j-dubs up the street just to patiently explain how kd lang's after the gold rush is about lesbian anal

call me deedee the way i'm droppin mega doodoo

BL fred durst: keep fujoin', fujoin', fujoin', fujoin'

DA: do you even know how much your embezzlement spree comes to? the age-regressing CFO: ummmmm.... [counting out 6 on both hands] this many?

[as my surgeon gets hardlocked off my thang]: ⚠️The action cannot be completed because the file is open in another program [the queen of the faeries grants the gift of life to a tumblr transmasc's lovense in the soft and cold distance]

jeopardy-themed one-pump chump drag king named alex prebek

JAVIER MILEI WELCOME TO THE RESISTANCE

lib trent reznor voice: i want to VOTE you like an animal

[intox mao voice] to let your boy have a beer without finishing his 6-pack. this is another type of liberalism

if some majora's mask type shit were happening, i'd go out and VOTE

i am hearing that on his deathbed charlie kirk received the light of islam and unhesitatingly recited the shahāda. even now he looks down on the ummah from the gardens of jannah. truly there is no god but god, and mohammad is his prophet!

great. another day of "dog miasma"

my wonderful partner just told me that shaggy himself is not a trans woman but any "boy" who identifies with him is

"i dream of a world without work" = useless sloganeering ❌ "i will show howard brown health the meaning of pain" = actionable goal ✅

this post is going extremely viral currently

tfw you're the only one at the dyke function who actually went to jupiter to get more stupider

kicking some little dogboy until he gets a tbi (tboy injury)

lapping up this tamale's corn husk chile & cheese snail trail like a dog drinking water

why do i even keep hangin with my buddy tetsua the iron they/them all it ever wants to talk about is how i gotttttttta get pregnant

"that girl ain't right" <--hank lovingly gendering agp bobbie hill

she gunter on my glieben til i glauten in her globen

fun puppies fact: all dogs are combustible

telling the maitre d' all these tableside dracula blowjobs are ok bc it's my special day

home is where might actually be the only group who take southern gothic seriously

so beautiful how jars have a little tdick that you can mash around and mistreat. truly there is no god but god and muhammad is his prophet

can i just say something beautiful and true for once

just saw a single used black nitrile glove outside my apartment building... cinderella....

chaser bob dylan be like "in the time of her injection / in the hour of my deepest sneed"

flirting w trans ppl is so easy all you gotta do is ask if they wanna come to petsmart with you

straight boys love it when trans butch women outclass their masculinity every time