"what can i even wear to work tomorrow?" <--question that functions also as proof of a god that exists but does not love

tch. it's a good cock, i'll give you that. the shaft curves nicely & the veins add an elegant splash of color. but gotta show the balls more love or you'll never cut it in this kitchen

if i'd been there they would've called him yaoi gagonit that's all i'm gonna say on the matter

angrily chasing down the j-dubs up the street just to patiently explain how kd lang's after the gold rush is about lesbian anal

call me deedee the way i'm droppin mega doodoo

BL fred durst: keep fujoin', fujoin', fujoin', fujoin'

DA: do you even know how much your embezzlement spree comes to? the age-regressing CFO: ummmmm.... [counting out 6 on both hands] this many?

[as my surgeon gets hardlocked off my thang]: ⚠️The action cannot be completed because the file is open in another program [the queen of the faeries grants the gift of life to a tumblr transmasc's lovense in the soft and cold distance]

jeopardy-themed one-pump chump drag king named alex prebek

JAVIER MILEI WELCOME TO THE RESISTANCE

lib trent reznor voice: i want to VOTE you like an animal

[intox mao voice] to let your boy have a beer without finishing his 6-pack. this is another type of liberalism

if some majora's mask type shit were happening, i'd go out and VOTE

i am hearing that on his deathbed charlie kirk received the light of islam and unhesitatingly recited the shahāda. even now he looks down on the ummah from the gardens of jannah. truly there is no god but god, and mohammad is his prophet!

great. another day of "dog miasma"

my wonderful partner just told me that shaggy himself is not a trans woman but any "boy" who identifies with him is

"i dream of a world without work" = useless sloganeering ❌ "i will show howard brown health the meaning of pain" = actionable goal ✅

this post is going extremely viral currently

tfw you're the only one at the dyke function who actually went to jupiter to get more stupider

kicking some little dogboy until he gets a tbi (tboy injury)

lapping up this tamale's corn husk chile & cheese snail trail like a dog drinking water

why do i even keep hangin with my buddy tetsua the iron they/them all it ever wants to talk about is how i gotttttttta get pregnant

"that girl ain't right" <--hank lovingly gendering agp bobbie hill

she gunter on my glieben til i glauten in her globen

fun puppies fact: all dogs are combustible

telling the maitre d' all these tableside dracula blowjobs are ok bc it's my special day

home is where might actually be the only group who take southern gothic seriously

so beautiful how jars have a little tdick that you can mash around and mistreat. truly there is no god but god and muhammad is his prophet

can i just say something beautiful and true for once

just saw a single used black nitrile glove outside my apartment building... cinderella....

chaser bob dylan be like "in the time of her injection / in the hour of my deepest sneed"

flirting w trans ppl is so easy all you gotta do is ask if they wanna come to petsmart with you

straight boys love it when trans butch women outclass their masculinity every time

playing mario kart with a bi woman's straight bf & occasionally getting distracted by his childlike understanding of both the world & momentum physics

at the dentist w the blicky loud and asking the hygienist if she's mad at me

she gon suck whatever political power i pull outta these jorts

shootin icbm ropes

do we think tiny tim grew up to have an SPH kink

how it's made wants to show me how bricks are made. brother it's called estrogen!

the housing market in omelas must be insane

getting fondled in the fayette mall parking lot #nonelikehome #crossingthesamerivertwice

everybody (me) wants to keep kosher til she (also me) makes jambalaya so good coach O turns larose a little frothier, a little creamier

please, mrs. b. shopping was my mother; you can call me Women

really i can't be blamed for how your golden retriever bf reacted to my tom of finland collection, you really should've trained him better

just described by a former lover as "80% lean muscle and 20% cock"

the ones who c-walk away from omelas

turning age-regressor tboys into the omelas child