(Dr. Rose, who hadn't heard we Pearl-Harbor-ed Nigeria on Christmas Day): Peace prezzzzident? Piece of s#it, more like it.

I love the smell of panic in the evening. Smells like…victory

The Unredacted DOJ post actually reads:

I didn't have gale-force winds and snowman-sized tumbleweeds for our yuletide bingo card ... but then who had any of this s#it we've been suffering under this past year (not to mention since 2016, actually)? Ho ho ho and wtf. Santa may be a Swiftie but he better calm TF down. Now for the Festivus.

Trump's Presidency will be known as a a Golden Reign since he's pissing on everything it's ever stood for!

(pigs everywhere): "Leave our hands outta this!"

My favorite holiday sweater at the sub shop so far is "Santa Is a Swiftie" (and the lady wearing it confirmed he is, in fact a fan). Here's a Christmas sunset in northern New Mexico. Grieving Joe Ely, Raul Malo, and our ersthwhile Land of the Free. Time for the Brave to stand up. LFG!

The fact that we have a "Greenland Policy," nvrmnd it's trending, puts coal in their stockings.

We've been kissing 😘 under the mistletoe already! 🤗 You should too! 🥰

*That* person will need a secretary (isn't that what you call the one who gets everything done?). Sec XdJt.

Bari Weiss: regime puppet or programming genius? Discuss.

Per NY Times’s Michael Grynbaum on X, this is Sharyn Alfonsi’s email to her “60 Minutes” colleagues in full:

What was it those old hippies said? The future is now. Dammit.

Welp...

Prayers up, those of you inclined to communicate to the universe, this ginger boy is nearing his time to transition. Seeking prayers for strength for his mama, who has been dealing with many losses this year. Dusty Springfield Fatton, alumnus of Espanola Humane, escape artist, seafood connoisseur.

"Good evening " ... that was the first lie. Totals for the evening???

"...have just been informed" speaks to their doneness. Spicey would have just said we did it, but Kkkaroline is telling us that she just heard about it. PS, MJF: how can we tell they're on vacation? (Not a riddle setup, want to know)

(nodding while assessing the All-Capped 2am rants, huh?) Hope so too, and this hope is "a thing with feathers"... feathers can hurt, one can expect.

Well how lovely. tbh, I stopped thinking NYT was "fit to print" back when I delivered it. 19- seventy and some. Sunday's were a biotch.

Our senator. Bueno, Ben-Ray.

#Cannabis compounds kill #ovarian #cancer without harming healthy cells, #research finds www.femtechworld.co.uk/news/cancer/... #MMJ #Weed #BotanicalMedicine #Herbalism

👇🏽

Calling BS. More, please.

This could be what does it. (haven't we said that enough by now? Bueller?)

You're in there, George, unfortunately. But let's celebrate the Demiser-and-Chief, instead. Prez-Demential.

Came up with a new slur, er, descriptor: Prez-Demential. Golden.

Meanwhile. The "bet this shooter ain't Single White Male" is making the rounds ...pun intended.

Deb. Dunk.

*hood

The horrific tragedy at Brown University is the 389th mass shooting this year and the 230th gun incident on school grounds so far this year. This is not normal and we don't have to live this way. bradyunited.org @bradyunited.org

If you’re looking for something to do, start working on overturning citizens united in your state. States control the power corporations have. Take their political power away with a ballot initiative. Here’s how: open.substack.com/pub/robertre...

Free speech allows me to say 100% bad things about Trump. Or 300%, 400%, even up to 1,500% bad things about Trump! #FuckTrump #FreeSpeech #ConstitutionalProtections #USPol

Imma wait for the "I can't go on" part. Beckett for the win!

This is amazing news for our neighbors in Albuquerque! Healthcare is a human right. Everyone deserves access and care, regardless of their circumstances. I’m so grateful to the UNM medical team who is doing this vital work on the ground.

Fine. Give us the Epstein files in Times New Roman, then.

Y'all breaking first rule of Font Club...what the Heck, Brick???

Ladies and gentlemen, the new architect for our East Wing Balls Room, Art van de Lay!!!

Edited a Nigerian story, and obvy, I couldn't write a sentence in her language while she wrote 88 pages in mine, an intricate, well-crafted family drama. We're all liable to write a howler at times; I can only salute the idea behind this one: "her two big eyeballs [were] twins of flaming liquid."

Pretty easy pick: the Kringle vs the canine-killing cosplayer.

"I'll just take this, shall I? Grab it?"

(SpongeBob voiceover):

What I always hear: “We can’t afford to pay our workers more than $15 an hour.” What I never hear: “We can’t afford to pay our CEO millions of dollars a year.” Funny how that works.

Stolen from Stand up for Scotland - but too good not to share!

But they shortened it to "FIFA" (feel free to make those stupid letters, which used to stand for The Beautiful Game I love, spell out something snarky....exta points if you throw in a "Q")

"Tiny balls-room... " (to the tune of "Tiny Bubbles")

They offered the billion-dollar jets but the upkeep! They said no gracias, eh?

(snort)

Bet they're not so kid-like they take it from you before you can place it on their heads...like *someone* we all know.