There’s some serious Henry vs Dyson beef going on on the former bird site, if you miss a bit of meaningful debate 😉 I mean, Henry, obviously. OBVIOUSLY.

Awesome Christmas gift klaxon!🚨🎅 Proud to announce that Trowbridge Stanza's poetry anthology 'Looking Up - Poems of Hope and Humanity', is available to pre-order. All proceeds to our local hospice Dorothy House. For blurb, sample poems, and how to order: trowbridgestanza.substack.com/p/anthology-...

Lady from bank: what is your average monthly salary? What life insurance cover do you have? What are your FINANCIAL GOALS? Me:

Showed this to my teen and he said “This is what it must be like to take strong hallucinogenic drugs.” No son. Just the 90s. 😊 youtu.be/-S-AgiOJVF0?...

Wow ok so self publishing is TRICKY. I’m in the final stages of publishing an anthology for our poetry stanza atm using Lulu. And I’m used to producing producing artwork for print - I’m a one woman marketing dept at work who outsources NOTHING. But BOOKS? Fiddly as fuck.*

Me: Needs to get a submission off for a deadline, prepare for a workshop tomorrow WHICH I AM RUNNING, and get a WHOLE ANTHOLOGY off to press. Also me: Sorts out knicker drawer 👍 👍

I’ve hit the age where I feel like all the clock change has done is increased the time I have to wait before I’m feasibly allowed to be in my lovely bed 🛌 🌙 🥰

Ah the National Poetry Comp approaches. Watch us as we rake desperately through this year’s scrawlings looking for something with a theme that feels, you know, “universal”.

When the facial recognition on my laptop constantly tells me, “Too close! Try moving a little a further away!” I wonder if I am really am too far away, of whether it’s just my face getting fatter.

The sad sight of a pile of poetry books waiting for me to find my reading glasses 😔

Read this, and actually, inside my own head, the words “Oh, give over” formed. It’s a scary thing, turning into your own Nanna 😂

When you let a bot check your manuscript for Americanisms 😂 😂

I had the temerity to write down all the small wins I have had this week. The universe did not like this bare faced joy. Got into my bed last night and it broke 🤦🏼‍♀️

Just another Wednesday night… 😜

A reminder: our inspiring poetry writing workshop led by Nick is tomorrow! Don’t miss out! open.substack.com/pub/trowbrid...

To celebrate National Poetry Day yesterday, I shared some favourite poems with a small group in a local care home. I honestly had a wonderful time. Today I’ve been thinking a lot about how the shared experience of reading a poem together is so much greater than the sum of its parts. 📖 🥰

Sorry to post filth, but I got some drawer dividers. Hummuna hummuna.

When you flick to your news app and the top headline is ACTUAL GOOD NEWS

I think we all know that autism is caused by AUTISTIC PEOPLE MAKING THE LOVELY BABIES but the trouble is you can’t really yell that in the faces of eugenicist nutjobs, can you, in case they get ideas. Yep guys, it’s paracetamol. Definitely paracetamol.

I’m thinking that before the next election, all the other political parties just get together and make a party called “Not Reform”. The tories can even join in if they like. I’m past caring.

Just trying to write an article for work. For God’s sake, it’s no wonder I can’t get a poem out at the moment. I can’t even order basic thoughts into a comprehensible paragraph. Bloody hormones.

My son’s year 10 weekend homework schedule includes Forests under threat (Geog) Festivals and fairgrounds should be banned (Eng) Nuclear extension! (Physics) and best of all… Plague homework (Hist) Wow, just as well teenagers aren’t prone to depression.

Wow so it seems most of my office has gone down with Covid in a very short time. Seems mild (for Covid) but SUPER transmissible at the moment.

In a historic day for Britain, Starmer absolutely crushed Trump with his Rock Paper Scissors game. “Take that, cheeseface,” he cried, as he whipped out the killer flat hand. WHAT A PLAYER. Rule Britannia.

What a lovely [email protected] used my poem Things That Taste Chickeny as a prompt on Instagram today. She also says she often comes back to this poem, which is an amazing & humbling thing to hear. She does a prompt every day, so give her a follow! www.instagram.com/reel/DOtZKc9...

I used to sneer at Americans calling maths “math” until I realised that we don’t call gym “gyms”.

Me: But what are you going to DO with that conker, Nina? Brain: SHIIIIINEEEEEY

It would be nice to find time to write some poetry, she said, with a steering wheel attached to her palm and a feather duster coming out of her arse.

I can’t decide which is my life’s greatest work: my poetry or this single formula I made in Excel today. It’s. So. Beautiful. 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

My 11 year old son really does take nonchalance to a whole new level.

Poets! I don’t need to ask permission for a line from a poem used as an epigraph do I? That’s reasonable use, right?

Great news! We've updated your dashboard! Now you won't be able to find ANYTHING!

Our wonderful featured guests @bethbpoet.bsky.social and @xenonlobster.bsky.social reading for our Stanza this afternoon. Thank you so much, Beth and Gordon! What a stimulating start to our autumn programme!

Sending a poem out again after six rejections is not something I do very often, and it makes me feel a bit like one of those disillusioned parents that you see on Simon Cowell talent shows. Sorry not sorry though. It's true love with this one. CUE VIOLINS.

Such poets! Join us for a moment of words this #LastSaturday in August - free on Zoom from 7.00pm until just after 8.00pm. Don't miss! www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/last-satur...

We have a treat for Trowbridge Stanza’s September Poetry event on the afternoon of Sat 6th September, with readings and Q&A by two wonderful poets, Beth Brooke and Gordon Vells, All are welcome and we’re right by Trowbridge station so please come down and join us! open.substack.com/pub/trowbrid...

Bristol friends, Shearsman book fans, come to East Bristol Books 18 September to hear not me (well, me, too) but the splendid Frances Presley and Andrew Duncan. I have such admiration for them both. Share? www.headfirstbristol.co.uk/whats-on/eas...

Just trying to search for my Dad on WhatsApp and some absolute certifiable weirdo butts in 🙄 🙄 🙄

My children are 14 and 11. They are not different species. 😂

Perfect Saturday night. Except for the hooligan.

When you’re wandering around casually snacking on a chipolata, and you sense a disturbance in the force behind you.

Wishing the facial recognition age verification bot would be a bit more like

Wow, I have an “after” poem! And it’s a cracker 😊 🐝

For the moment, my love of poetry seems to have disappeared, probably to Wherever The Hell My Oestrogen Went. Would be grateful for reports of sightings. Of either.

So so pleased for the Lionesses. Probably would have hated them at school though 😂

Delighted that my local Odeon cinema has modernised with fast-food-style popcorn ordering screens, doubling the time it takes to get your snax without reducing staff headcount. Genius. PS If you’re wondering wherever to go Fantastic Four or Superman, go Fantastic Four. Good film.

I feel like someone needs to start a page where you can post cute things you overhear hoodie teenagers saying. In Tesco Express: “I don’t even know what I WANT, man. [pauses by fridge] Oh yeah, I haven’t had my DAILY MILK. I need my MILK, innit.”

FFS just hoovered the whole of my son’s room with just the foot of the Henry Hoover. “Hmm, this isn’t very sucky today,” I was thinking. “Maybe the bag needs changing.” DON’T TRUST ME WITH ANYTHING.

That feeling when you find a poem you wrote a while ago, and you’re not exactly sure what you were trying to say, but, enjoying the mystery of that, you keep it just as it is.

Show: Dedicates much of its last ever episode to tear-jerking cameos by characters who we last saw over 1000 sleeps ago. Me: