I have some slight seconds of Trowbridge Stanza's fab, uplifting poetry anthology 'Looking Up - Poems of Hope & Humanity' for sale on a pay-what-you-like basis. Every pound (apart from postage) goes to our brilliant local hospice Dorothy House. Details: trowbridgestanza.substack.com/.../pay-what....

When a squirrel starts chucking nut shells at your head and you’re not even sitting under a nut tree, you start to take it personally. Someone brought a nut shell to a cherry fight.

What if, instead of the slog of submitting, I just tell you I wrote a poem I’m really pleased with, and you say, “Good! Great! Well done! Pleased for you!” and then we all just get on with our lives?

Joining the vast canon of horror poetry inspired by roadworks just outside Westbury… 🚧 🚧 🚦😱

Dear [author], We are excited by your book [title]. We love how it [AI-generated text taken directly from your blurb]. We would be excited to feature you in our spotlight! 💰 💰 💰 Grrrr 😖

If you shine a torch into Wes Streeting’s eyes, do you see the End of Times? Asking for a friend.

Important news

So what I learned last night is that it’s incredibly difficult to read a poem whilst leading a room of 40 odd people in hip rotations.😂 (Yes, the poem did require it, and that’s the poem’s fault, not mine.) Anyway, I think I need to practise before I start my book launch rounds later this year! 😂

This is probably the most Gen X thing ever, but I heard someone yesterday on a podcast say that skylarks sound like the frantic synth on Josh Wink’s Higher State of Consciousness, and now I am delightedly identifying them on my dog walk.

Lots of lovely meteors about tonight if you can find a relatively dark bit of sky 😊 💫💫💫

Trying to get some work done on the house but just getting nowhere. I dream of the day we get a quote in and I don’t do this.

Check out S Reeson ( @internetofwords.com)’s awesome piece of visual poetry on @inksweatandtears.co.uk today. 💓 ⚠️ inksweatandtears.co.uk/s-reeson-2/

The totally normal notes I grab my phone and make just before I fall asleep 😂

Hey kids. Remember, you’re all winners to me. No matter what the Poetry Society says. 😜

Insert a massive prostaglandin pessary?

Sorry for late reply I have been on 9 big projects at work & trying to have meaningful moments with my kids & building muscle mass & cooking meals using real food & staring at an empty page but have NOT had time to plunge into the well of creation & conjure MORE time so in short I ran out thanks bye

Me (to incredibly adorable husky puppy who looks exactly like Chase from Paw Patrol): Oh, aren’t you just GORGEOUS?! Puppy’s gruff male owner: Heh heh. Thanks. 😬

Right, I’m off out to pop my Shakespearean tragedy cherry, because it seemed like a good thing to do on a Thursday night when I booked it 😂 😬

I have these odd involuntary “blurts” I do when my brain gets too much. If I’m thinking about something awful I blurt “NO”. If tired, I blurt “I’m going to go to bed“. So far so good. If however I’m recalling something embarrassing? I blurt “I love you” ⁉️😂 Thanks, brain. That helps. You’re weird 😂

Ok so before my pamphlet comes out in November, I need to make some changes to ensure I have a bookcase behind me when I Zoom. I think the easiest way to do that is going to be move house?? Worth it. It’ll be worth it. I SHALL be writerly.

Kemi Badenoch says we should move towards assimilation which is fine and not sinister at all

Got my annual “grrrrrr got to do some gardening” grump on. Loathsome, backbreaking, mucky business. Managed half an hour of clearing slimy leaves and stomped inside, incandescent. #grumpyface #ohinnitnicetobeoutinthegarden #no

Does anyone else, when they’re doing something fun, think “Yay, I can’t believe I’m doing this right now at this very moment!” followed by the sad thought of “oh no, soon I won’t be doing this”? Or do I just overthink every moment of my life.

Wrote the SNOTTIEST letter at work today including a massively passive aggressive CC and no I am not that person and yes it felt really good and YES I AM ON THE RIGHT DOSE OF HRT

Female writers. I’d appreciate any tips you have to overcome menopausal brain fog and low energy and get writing again. I just cannot focus on writing at all, and I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life - cos let’s face it, that oestrogen ain’t coming back!!

Just finished this. Posting because I do seem to know a lot of people who enjoy bleak and depressing books. If that’s you, definitely give this one a read! Man. (Goes off to scream into pillow.) 😱

Kier Starmer’s CV screams competence. So is he really a bad prime minister? Or is it just impossible to govern in this age of bottomless, ever-scrolling micro scrutiny? In an age when the crashingly ill informed have as big (or bigger) a platform than the experts? Just musing.

Really looking forward to this performance & workshop in Trowbridge by the super talented Manganaro! They'll be sharing some poems (cos we like those) and also hosting a workshop helping us to take our own poems from page to stage. Sat 7 March, 2-4pm. Book here! www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/manganaro-...

Feeling this

My son telling me which poems he’s been doing for GCSE is like other people being told the Glastonbury line up. “Seen him.” “Seen him”. “Yep, seen her too, mad night.” 🤘

Poets! Open Mic in Trowbridge next Saturday - do come along! www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/trowbridge...

What an absolute privilege to read at the very first Elephant in the Room spoken word tonight. Such a warm crowd - thank you 🙏🏻 Follow them on insta for the next event @theelephantintheroomspokenword 🐘 🐘 🐘 💚

TODAY IS THE DAY: audience spaces remain available to hear 10 Open Mic Poets and my lovely mate @ninaparmenter.bsky.social do a headline set. I've read the #poems and honestly, I am immensely pleased and proud to be hosting all of these #poets. Come listen to #poetry! forms.gle/FJEzVXjaUcGR...

The fucking Meno Monster has stolen my words. I hate to be that person who goes on the socials to beg, but if you do have any words you can donate, please leave them in the comments. Thank you. 🙏🏻

SHAMELESS PLUG! I'm the special guest at Elephant in the Room Spoken Word THIS TUESDAY (27th Jan) at YOUR HOUSE (On Zoom). I'll be reading from my forthcoming book "Kiss Chase with Darwin" as well as some faves. Please support this SPANKING NEW Spoken Word night! ninaparmenter.com/did-someone-...

Thinking of running a “which musical tradition will Ed Sheeran appropriate next?” sweepstake. My money’s on Andean panpipes or Mongolian throat singing.

SHINY NEW BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT!!!! Chuffed to announce that 'Kiss Chase with Darwin', full of poems I'm super proud of, will be published by @brokensleepbooks.bsky.social later this year. Sign up to the mailing list on my website to get a little reminder when it's out! www.ninaparmenter.com

🚨OPEN MIC KLAXON🚨 Elephant in the Room 🐘 is a new shiny Spoken Word event hosted online by 3 smashers - @haywardsb.bsky.social, @internetofwords.com & Emma Clowsley. First event is Jan 27th with guest poet OH LOOK IT'S ME. Bloody hell, better sign up here quick: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...

Life’s not about the big wins. It’s about remembering to go and scoop the dog turds up off the lawn while they’re frozen. #wins #smashingjanuary #lawnlollipops

I’m reading Christmas / winter poems at a care home in a couple of weeks. My experience of reading to them previously is that they’re a pretty discerning audience and enjoy a mix of styles. Suggestions? X

The launch of 'Looking Up - Poems of Hope and Humanity' is taking place in Trowbridge this Saturday afternoon. Entry is free, and it's all in aid of Dorothy House Hospice Care. Book your ticket here: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/trowbridge...

MY EYES! MY EYES!

Behold, for it was she, who is mighty and is called The Duffwuff. 💚

Self publishing an anthology is fun* unless you have to reject almost an entire print run. “Send a photo of the affected books”. Er yeah ok 🤯 *Only joking. It is not fun.

Come to the launch of our lovely anthology of hope, ‘Looking Up’. It’s on 6th December in Trowbridge. Book here! www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/trowbridge...

I have in my hand the proof copy of “Looking Up - Poems of Hope and Humanity” which has been put together by Trowbridge Poetry Stanza in aid of Dorothy House Hospice Care. So proud of this! I’m placing a print order tomorrow - if you’d like one, message me 🙂 £9.99 + £2 P&P.

Have decided not to go to my office party because I don’t want to. Wild.

There’s some serious Henry vs Dyson beef going on on the former bird site, if you miss a bit of meaningful debate 😉 I mean, Henry, obviously. OBVIOUSLY.

Awesome Christmas gift klaxon!🚨🎅 Proud to announce that Trowbridge Stanza's poetry anthology 'Looking Up - Poems of Hope and Humanity', is available to pre-order. All proceeds to our local hospice Dorothy House. For blurb, sample poems, and how to order: trowbridgestanza.substack.com/p/anthology-...

Lady from bank: what is your average monthly salary? What life insurance cover do you have? What are your FINANCIAL GOALS? Me: