More or less, he looks like a chest buster with a collar and CGI limbs.

Something I’ve been struggling with recently, is that at this point, I kinda have to see a proof of death photo too?

It is indeed hazy AF and smells like campfire which is fucking insane. Sunset will look cool at least 😷

I’ve actually always liked the word diarrhea. Sounds good, fun to say, fun to spell. However, the word fellowship makes me feel like diarrhea.

There’s a grocery co-op manager on NPR talking about prices going up. He also happens to be the theater manager who found my wallet the night I drank and smoked too much before Alien vs Predator! What a world lol.

Jerry it’s Frank Costanza. The strait is closed, Lindsey Graham is dead, call me back.

Praise be to cholesterol or some sort of bacterial infection. Heart attack? Accidentally discharged weapon?

I was thinking about posting the following, didn’t, then immediately saw this video: Starting to think my FOMO was always just a gateway to future unending calamitous knowledge. I’m upset.

Pausa de protección

What an absolute fucking asshole.

World Cup has been great. But hearing an announcer say that Lenny Harris is the greatest pinch hitter of all time and not Matt Stairs kinda takes me out of the whole thing. You’re using the wrong metrics. 👎🏾

Making fun of Belgians for dipping fries in mayo when every American gastro pub gives you 2 oz. of flavored mayonnaise and calls it aioli.

New band name: Five o’clock coffee and the evening shits.

Graham Platner killed Mitch McConnell.

Biblical rain. I just had to take off my shoes and ford the street.

Sports.

Think about this at least twice a month.

The only thing that could make take this game up a notch is a Mitch McConnell death cut in.

Always makes me laugh how much quicker my mind is when I’m not smoking weed all the time. Too much activity.

World Cup has been fun as hell but the embarrassment I feel when I involuntarily yell loud enough for my neighbors to hear me is mortifying.

Part of me is somewhat hopeful a reanimated Mitch just shows up this week in some sort of Supreme Leader Snoke kinda state. 7 feet tall at the very least, robed and I would imagine his face at this point is already pretty spot on. Or we find out a MedBed was used and didn’t work.

A British woman on the radio right now explaining how to cook the perfect steak. Inadvertently erotic.

I don’t care if Mitch *is* alive. Release the obits!

Stars and Stripes Forever is objectively sick. Pains me to say today.

Pictures! Gotta curb my consumption next week, but this was a good one. Spies Like Us makes me feel like a child and completely out of touch at the same time in the best possible way. #LastFourWatched

Lady can’t spell Eagles but she can get that fuckin beak wet. “Mayor Cherelle L. Parker decided to change the management of the festival from its previous nonprofit partner to a for-profit production company”

lol.

Ronaldo has a significant adam’s apple. Goodness.

Permissible and commendable. 🤙🏾

I did read somewhere that this was in the first draft. Eventually replaced by frogs.

Gonna start referring to my Instagram as my stalk portfolio so I can feel adult.

This is the second year in a row the Fourth of July has been an “oh shit, that’s right” for me.

Hindsight is 20/20 but we probably should have pulled the plug when Jackie Evancho was chosen to sing the anthem at the inauguration.

History operates a lot like me lol. Just keeps on repeating itself.

Can confirm. 🫠

Sometimes the ocean is just the only thing that’ll fuckin do it.

Abolish beach tags.

There should be a realtime “trending” list for this.

This is ultra fucked. But I love it? But also…It’s so wild how somehow to me, kids having to grow up in an era of deciding if something is AI or not is way more detrimental than when all you had to worry about was accidentally seeing a dude get fucked by a horse or the pain Olympics. Genuinely lol

If you’re on background anyway I think you gotta go with pussy.

I love when my evening plans itself. Gotta keep the antenna up.

lol.

Don’t mind me. I’ll just be watching Xingxing the rest of the afternoon.

They should put the silhouette of him leaning like that on the White House podium like Jerry West.

Usually get excited about rain cancelling my plans. Then I don’t have to bail. Today was not one of those days interestingly.

“Need ur seed” right under the bought this before Elon was crazy sticker.

If you can’t handle me at my worst (eating cake with my hands in the shower), then you don’t deserve me at my best (eating cake with a fork in the shower)

Me and my ADHD. Like perfectly.

If I ever post “Fuck it, I’m getting a Celsius.” Just know that I’ve been compromised and call my emergency contact.

Walk and a nap kind of afternoon. First walk was sweaty as hell unfortunately, but I’ve got a lot of life I’ve been procrastinating on and I need to clear my mind.