Didn’t let me down although they tried.

In a thousand years I never would’ve guessed or even believed the top 3 would be this bad AND they’d have a winning record.

Watching my kids eat giant churros that I bought them, knowing tonight is my turn for bedtime is a certain form of self torture

Off today, and have the house to myself for a couple hours. Been a long time since I’ve just kinda sat and vibed to some music (after I pulled a bunch of weeds, however).

“Peacocking”: OMG that ruffian Cockfighting: Zzzzz

Stammen leaving him out there without even a mound visit feels like a hate crime. Especially the disdain on his face

Canning is very much Can’ting right now.

My 4yo: daddy, I still love you, but I’m just tired of doing what you tell me

Jesus Christ, someone check this guys bank account deposits.

That was a terrible half inning by the home plate umpire.

Man, of course the padres former first baseman of the future gets a hit

Tatis is getting close. It’s gonna come soon.

Pretty big PA for Tatis to set that up, too.

lol first HR tatis’ bat had seen this year and it wasn’t even hit by him

MORE BREAKING: Defense finding a way also

BREAKING: Padres offense finds a way to find a new low

Okay, wow

I spent way too long trying to figure out how to watch the game last night for it to be so ass

Balls, man

Maybe this is why I’m sitting at a desk, but if I were Fernando I would be trying to uppercut everything to find a swing feel that wasn’t pounding balls into the ground just to get something in the air.

Oh good. Off to another great start.

Operation Don’t Get Swept is a dribbling success

Unforgivable

I didn’t really think the offense could get worse, but here they go proving me wrong again.

It’s still early…

A few days ago my wife told me she doesn’t want me to have a heart attack. Two days in a row she’s brought me hot pockets and frozen taquitos for lunch. Seems like we’re living two different truths here.

Casty Homer means it could be a BIG day for us. !

And the prized bullpen falters as the core offensive players continue to also falter

Is Joe Musgrove dead? I haven’t seen him in the dugout in a while. Just in commercials.

Slam Diego just doesn’t hit when it’s the other team doing the slamming.

Baby formula should be free thanks for coming to my ted talk

Christ.

I’ve been critical, but the padres just keep finding a way to score just enough runs. Also, congrats to the reaper for the record.

Year 2 of begging Tatis to hit the ball in the air.

They’re gonna get shut out in Mexico, aren’t they?

I mean, a win’s a win

Tatis is on the Wil Myers path right now

Does Fernando even want another platinum glove or to even be on the field right now?

I can’t believe I watched that whole fuck ass game

This team again sniffed first place and said “nahhh”

82 pitches over 2.2 innings is rough

Fishy

Do we think Tatis will hit a home run this month?

Crazy that campusano already has more hits this season than he did all of last year

Do y’all remember lifesavers? My son brought one home from school the other day and I didn’t even know they made them anymore.

When you’re blacked out and forced to watch a killer comeback like this

Am I just missing the wordplay in this notification or are we doomed as a society led by dumb internet kids?

Something they left out at “how to be a parent” school is how exhausting it is doing physical/imagination play with multiple littles. Anyway… back to it.

Very happy for Rory today. Thought the moment got too big after the first few holes, but he proved us wrong and is now in storied company.

Good win, boys.