*Blinks in socially aware American*

Anytime someone says, “That’s why you’re single.”, as an insult, they’re really just broadcasting their crippling codependency and lack of identity outside of the perceived benefits and validation that someone settling for them would bring.

* Friend dates guy * Me: I hate the bitch for you. Here’s why… Her: Don’t judge on me, just love on me * Friend breaks up with guy for issues that I identified months prior * Me: Thank God. Her: Omg, why didn’t you say that you don’t like him? I- ! ... Okay

I’ve been reconnecting with someone I dated a couple years back and he said, “You weren’t this nasty last time, who taught you that?” The streets that you left me in.

Wait, is it Columbus Day? Oh. Hm.

You’d be spun like a dreidel

Event Horizon holds up WAY better than I thought it would. Just a gorgeous and outstandingly original and creepy movie.

Tops: You gotta know to not fuck too fast. It’ll feel better for both of you to slow beat it. Take your time pushing and pulling your stroke through. Those last 16 drills feel like an exorcism when your cum becomes the lube.

If you haven’t bottomed yet but want to, get fucked by a vers. Strict tops dont know how to handle new hole.

I’m going to brush up on my Spanish and speak it near exclusively in public when I can just to upset racist and confuse ICE

Stop saying, “If that makes sense” after saying something that you know makes fucking sense. It undermines your position, just like putting, “lol” when you say something that you’re not playing about.

I avoid the masc4masc gays like the plague because even though I’m masc presenting, I don’t like a bitch playing with my options.

Show me your hole

It’s always disheartening when I’m getting to know someone and ask simple questions such as about their day and if they’ve eaten and they say they they’re not used to that. What do you mean you’re not used to someone caring??? Omg, let me hug you. Are you okay?

I thought that my incline bench press was ready for 185lbs… I was wrong. I got 3 reps in. Let’s try 170 🥲

I thought that my incline bench press was ready for 185lbs… I was wrong. I got 3 reps in. Let’s try 170 🥲

I was with one of the manscent gays. He lifted by balls, dug his face into my gooch, and took several deep and long inhales, ending every exhale with a “ahhhhh”. Like damn, mine must be hitting like Tom Ford

Good morning ft. My thighs

“You’re exactly who you think you are.” Omg, please don’t say that. I have no nice thoughts about myself.

Why is my high ass in here cutting watermelon?

Daddy’s Boy

Danced Salsa all night and now eating a crab papusa.

Before Beyoncé spilled her heart after infidelity on Lemonade, Usher was out here doing the cheating, and creating babies

Every time this woman sees me she says, “That’s a MAN, honey.” And my dick has started to jump in response. I’m too old for another identity crisis, please God, no.

And I cannot stress this enough, conflict aversion is a huge red flag for me. The inability or unwillingness to be accountable to expressing a need because of discomfort makes you a a high risk investment.

I hate when my big grown ass gets the hiccups.

“Who’s tipsy? I’m not tipsy” Also me:

7:55am

This man is fine.

I hate - HATE that every time I see an image, start a video, or listen to a song, I first have to investigate if it’s AI before I support. Art is the language of human expression, and I really hate the concept of generative AI invading that space. Some things HAVE to be sacred.

“She ain’t even hoe material” is NUTS

Being forced to interact with people because they’re related to me.

My health insurance will now be costing me $600/mo out-of-pocket. You niggas can go back to making me sick. I need to make it worth while.

I need some ass.

I’m seeing you, you’re seeing me, I’m seeing you seeing me, we see you each other… And nobody makes a move. Cut the cameras, nothing to see here.

I bought these mirror tiles to mount on the ceiling above my bed, but now that they’re in and in and I feel how heavy they are, I’m not sure how I feel about glass above my unconscious body. I see a Final destination scenario

I love when my subs talk shit. Repeat it when I’m in your throat. ☺️

Mind you I decided to do this at 5:30p. High, alone, Cowboy Carter on a work night. Let’s see what my first Beyonce concert gives

I’m emotionally drained. I need head and French fries.

Vegan friendly, cruelty free, farm raised beef

Holy shit, at least it’s not a man.

💅🦶🏽

Swallowing is romantic

Trump is such a limped dick stunt queen, I hate his stupid orange ass, and I personally hate and wish the worst of every single one of you Mississippi louse trap, first cousin fucking, “Fox News said”, no IQ, inbreed looser ass, fragile sun burning hicks.