My daughter (in her early 30s) has demanded an advent calendar (at short notice) so I've opened the Christmas box of Celebrations, counted out 25 and thrown them into a gift bag and stuck on a post-it saying 'You're allowed one a day' Why was I never a Blue Peter presenter?

When you can't tell the difference between the celeb and the pro that's a winner #strictly

George Clarke could be in any Poirot mystery #strictly

I just asked my other half what contraband he would sneak into the jungle and he said... ... there's no way you'd guess

I found this set of 3 casserole dishes in an antique shop - think they might be ideal for coq au vin

It's Foodbank Friday again and we look forward to seeing you in your #localbookshop. Please like, follow, share or use the #foodbankfriday on social media, helping to raise awareness. And thanks for supporting small businesses and local bookshops across the land! You're a' braw! Thanks!

Check out my new banner *smug face*😏

I've started practicing Christmas cocktails #anyexcuse

Come on - why has no-one commented on this stool for sale on Amazon???

I'm sorry, what?

Tonight, after seeing the advert many times, I realised that it isn't Robert Webb in Amadeus, it's Paul Bettany 🤷

I just watched the Waitrose Christmas advert - love it! youtu.be/wWeYKBXmCRs?...

It's my birthday today, if you want to be nice, you could download my book, which is free on Kindle Unlimited 🎁😉

I wrote a book many moons ago. I've now brought it up-to-date and given it a damn good editing. Check it out (please). #writing #books www.amazon.co.uk/Same-Individ...

I've been with O2 since my first Blackberry - today, after hearing about their mid-contract price-hike, I cancelled my contract. Loyalty obvious means feck all to the money grabbing feckers.

I know you lot don't think I'm up to much but I changed the time in my car today so neh.

I took this pic to try to be arty but it looks like I'm drinking Lea and Perrins sauce 😂

Call me Bond, Jill Bond

Can someone please get Alexa to shut doors in the same way she can put lights on and off?

I love that they provide a creche at the House of Bruar

Find out what poem you need in your life today www.panmacmillan.com/blogs/litera...

I've been moaning about not being able to put up pictures in the house because I don't have a hammer. OH just gave me this 🥰

I've been playing with AI to create cover art for my novel and I've discovered AI can't give me accurate dice. I've even asked it for a prompt to use and it's still useless. Grrrr. 🎲

Just had an amazing meal at Trust by Modou in Edinburgh. No menu just 5 courses of loveliness. Blind folds were involved 😂

The only way to start a day in Edinburgh - cheers

#2solve Tues 01110101 01101110 01100011 01101100 01100001 01101101 01110000 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01110110 01101001 01110010 01110101 01110011 If it wasn't for the vice Id be all for covid

#2solve Sunday 01101100 01100001 01100100 01111001 01100110 01101001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01101000 01101111 01110010 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100111 Mermaid's are messing about (I can't see this being the intended answer!)

Cor blimey misses, look at my plums!

#2solve Tues 01101101 01100001 01101001 01101100 01100100 01110010 01101111 01110000 01110011 00100000 01110011 01110001 01110101 01101001 01110010 01101101 011110 my letters are moving

#2solve Sun 01010001 01110101 01100001 01100100 01110010 01100001 01110100 01101001 01100011 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110111 01100010 01101111 01111001 John Wayne²

#2sole Sat 01100100 01110010 01100001 01100111 01101111 01101110 01100110 01101100 01111001 00100000 01111001 01110101 01100011 01101011 Horrible insect

#2solve Fri 01100101 01110101 01110010 01111001 01110100 01101000 01101101 01101001 01100011 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110111 01101101 01100101 01101110 Harmonious herder

#2solve Thurs 01110000 01101111 01110100 01100101 01101110 01110100 01101001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01101100 01110101 01100011 01101011 01101001 01100101 01110010 It had the ability to have better odds

#2solve Tues 01101010 01101111 01100011 01101111 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100101 01111000 01100101 01101101 01110000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01111001 Such a funny example

#2solve Sun 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 01100001 01101101 01100001 01100010 01101111 01100010 00100000 01100010 01110101 01101100 01101011 Whatever it was, it was big

#2solve Sat 01000100 01101001 01101101 01110000 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100101 01100001 01110010 01110100 01101000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101101 The invertebrate gave a cheeky smile

#2solve Thurs 01101000 01101111 01100010 01110011 00100000 01110011 01110101 01100111 01100001 01110010 01100011 01101111 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100100 My cooker is a mess - I wish I had never tried to make jam

Hibby Birthday 💚 @londonhibee.bsky.social

#2solve Tues 01100101 01111000 01101111 01110010 01100010 01101001 01110100 01100001 01101110 01110100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01111001 01100001 01110111 01101110 00100000 It was an expensive start to a nap

Today I have been at Deep Sea World, the smallest working lighthouse in the world and walked over the Forth Road Bridge and BeReal decided to ping when I got home 🤷

#2solve Sat 01110011 01101011 01111001 01101010 01100001 01100011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100111 01101100 01101111 01110111 Up, up and away lights me up

#2solve Thurs 01110111 01110010 01101001 01101110 01101011 01101100 01111001 00100000 01111001 01100001 01110010 01100100 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01101011 Screwed up length

#2solve Wed 01100010 01110010 01101111 01100001 01100100 01100011 01100001 01110011 01110100 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101100 01110101 01101101 01110000 01110011 I shouted out I'd nosedive Almost the same as you @benjamindickman.bsky.social but not quite

#2solve Mon 01000011 01101111 01110010 01101110 01100110 01101100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101101 01100010 01100101 01100100 00100000 Almost breakfast under the duvet but not quite 😉

#2solve Wed 01100110 01100001 01101001 01101100 01110101 01110010 01100101 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101001 01101101 01101111 01101110 01111001 I didn't manage to sell the church statue A different one from you @benjamindickman.bsky.social 😉

First one this year 🧑‍🍳💋

#2solve Tues 01101010 01101111 01110101 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01100101 01110000 01101001 01100111 01110010 01100001 01110000 01101000 today totally jolted me to leave a quote

Would anyone like a free ticket to the first two nights of my Edinburgh Fringe show? This Wednesday and Thursday? DM me! They are technically previews so perfect technical goofs guaranteed