Folks fear gorillas, but the real threat is a gorilla with a kazoo. They are loud, relentless, mostly out of tune, and impossible to negotiate with.

Never burn bridges. It's more effective to let nature slowly rot them while you smile and wave from the other side.

The young women killed at Polytechnique Montréal 36 years ago were attacked not only for who they were, but for who they were becoming. Today isn't just about a tragic memory. It's about confronting gender-based violence wherever it hides, and refusing to let silence protect it.

It's heartbreaking when love is lost over tiny disagreements, like whether a haunted scarecrow should be allowed in the apartment.

It's a shame when lifelong friends drift apart simply because one of them joins a cult that doesn't allow the other one to live.

Good things come to those who wait. Great things come to those who cut the line quietly.

Sometimes I talk to my plants to encourage them to grow. They never respond, and that's probably because they're still processing everything I've shared.

There's a big difference between giving because it feels right, and giving because you're scared to say no. Healthy sacrifice comes from strength. Self-erasure comes from fear. One nourishes you, the other slowly tears you apart.

I believe true love exists because the zipper on my winter coat didn't get stuck today. Commitment shouldn't snag.

Follow the link below to read something funny I wrote about what to wear (and what not to wear) on your next trip.

Is Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy right? Has air travel become uncivilized? Here's my Friendly Reminder on Dressing for Air Travel (Since We’ve All Forgotten) that you can read in the @weeklyhumorist.bsky.social

There's a quiet loneliness in caring. People come to me for understanding or comfort, and I listen and give freely. But at day's end, I'm left with the weight of their stories. I'm not transactional. It just hurts to feel so empty trying to make sure no one else feels that way.

Taking a break from work to mix up some bottled cocktails for the holidays. This concoction, which uses equal amounts of Islay scotch, Campari, and green Chartreuse is called The End of the Road. It's the only drink that tastes like both "I love you" and "I regret everything".

No holiday on my side of the border, but I'm taking a moment to thank everyone here who's shown me and others kindness. You make this chaotic space feel like it has pockets of warmth, and like the world might be better than it pretends to be.

I've heard so many lies this week that I'm starting to grade them for creativity. Most people aren't even trying.

What I love most are the people who don't take kindness for granted. They show up with gratitude and meet vulnerability with gentleness. In a climate that often rewards indifference, their politeness feels like a small miracle.

I tried to doom scroll on Twitter today, but all I got were reruns.

Remember your favorite creator possibly might be struggling with imposter syndrome and doubt and this timeline sucks.. so if you find yourself thinking “wow I really relate to this persons work” or that persons work gives you joy, you should probably tell them. It’s a hard time to be a creative.

A second elderly lady asked me to walk her across the street today. I am now wondering if there's some secret grandmother network passing around my description.

When I have an afternoon appointment, I can't seem to start anything big or small. I just hover in existential standby mode.

There are days when the smallest things feel emotionally loaded. It could be a song, a sentence, or a memory I didn't know I was carrying. I hate how easily the tears rise, but maybe that's just proof I'm still feeling my way through the world instead of shutting down.

When someone knocks on my front door, I shout "Occupied!" and let them figure out what that means.

Sometimes I let someone finish a long story before telling them I wasn't listening. It feels like returning a library book unread.

A new notebook always looks so proud of itself, like it truly believes I'll fill it with brilliance instead of crooked doodles and panic lists.

I keep buying new pens because each one promises to make me a different person. So far, all they've done is make me someone with too many pens.

The worst part of being diminished by someone close is realizing they knew the power of their words and used it anyway. That's why you hold your own words with care. They can either build a person or break them.

The cruelty of being diminished by someone close is that they know your history. They know the old scars and still press there. We're supposed to guard the people we love, not cast shadows over them.

When I wake up actually energized, I immediately worry something is wrong. Happiness isn't usually this punctual.

I forgot my Apple Watch during my workout today. My heart was pounding, but according to the universe, I was basically napping.

I made coffee this morning, got distracted by emails, and found it an hour later. It tasted like procrastination and mild disappointment... so basically, like me.

I found these 3 oz bottles and thought they would be perfect for holiday entertaining. Each one contains a pre-mixed drink. N for Negroni. M for Manhattan. I might just do the whole alphabet!

I like to keep all my loose pens in one drawer so they can whisper among themselves about why I never finish anything.

Winter looks peaceful from a distance, like it has its life together. But the moment I step into slush, I realize winter is just as messy as the rest of us.

I don't trust easily because every time I've handed someone the benefit of the doubt, they've returned it scratched and missing pieces.

Your story doesn't end where things once fell apart. Sometimes the best chapters are the ones you didn't know you had left in you.

When your date asks what you're looking for in a partner, a good response is "Someone with strong puzzle-solving skills... for reasons."

When you see someone you like, don't smile. Just nod slowly, like you've finally found the person from the prophecy.

When you meet someone new, immediately tell them your astrological sign and your favorite emergency exit. This shows openness and awareness.

Tell them you like their "aura", even if you don't know what that means. No one does, and that's what makes it hot.

I once told someone to "be themselves", and now I'm legally required to say that with caution and a legal disclaimer.

I told myself I'd use this insomnia to finally get my life together. Instead, I alphabetized my regrets.

I call it "karma" when bad things happen to people I don't like, especially if I helped.

I like giving people the benefit of the doubt just to see how they'll waste it.

My toxic trait is believing I'm the lesson in other people's cautionary tales.

Every time I pour cereal into the bowl, I think this is how hope sounds. Then I add milk and it drowns.

The thing about agreeing with liars is that eventually you start lying too, and mostly about who you've become.

A lot of Democrats said they’re standing up for what's right. You just can't see it. They're crouched too low on bended knee.

The first snowfall hides the roads, the trees, and eventually my optimism. It's efficient. I'll give it that.