I just got called “baby” and “boss” by two separate very sweet cross guards 🥺🥺

A bar but it’s just every flavor of Diet Coke (fountain obviously)

plz tell ur underwear-wearing friends about pander, i owe a lot of money in taxes lol

This hot tattooed man is working out with his nipples hanging out of his tank… reader, I cannot stop staring 🥵

Cried at the bar last night like I was in college coolcoolcool

Only five more days until the weekend

Why can’t we all have the same bike-share program?

Getting out of a matinee is wild like I just lived a whole life inside a theater and now I still have a whole life to live outside of the theater.

Life really is better when you have a trip planned.

Show #2 for the weekend.

Finally watching the new Scrubs and I’m so glad it still feels like the old Scrubs 🥺

Whoops I booked a trip to Palm Springs in less then two weeks 🤭

One of these days my future husband will be sitting next to me in a Broadway theater.

Broadway show is a great way to kickoff the weekend 🥺

I’m at the age where I make annoyed faces at inanimate objects that make too much noise.

I’m trying not to get a bagel every Friday morning, but I can’t argue with this…

Now that I know Gramercy Park is private, I need to find a way in — ***** **** ** * **** ** ****?

Feral for a chicken caesar wrap.

A ham and cheese sandwich just really slaps sometimes.

Back to work after a long weekend of debauchery in Montreal.

Be nice to me I’m trying a new style of pants tonight.

The hottest men are men who live in cities with mountains… walking on an incline is so in right now and mountains are the ultimate incline.

Barely in Canada for three hours and I’m already eating poutine I’m doing great sweetie

Already feel like a dumb American not being able to speak French in Montreal.

Ready to find a Canadian husband this weekend.

Me: *saves $60 by taking the bus to the airport instead of an Uber* Also me: *spends $60 on breakfast at the airport*

CRANK IT

OOO is onnn Montreal here I cummm 🇨🇦

Zara Larsson’s deluxe Girls Trip album will heal us all.

Ah yes it’s I-hope-no-one-sees-my-butt-sweat-when-I-stand-up weather 😎

Spotify’s offices are in the same building as mine and I need to know what’s happening at their offices today!! There were drag queens at reception and their elevator banks were packed.

My new favorite thing is being able to confirm an appointment by replying OUI

I think about youuu, do you think about meee?

Today’s gonna be a gr8 day!

Really want a c**ty Slayyyter shirt for Gov Ball when I see the wor$t girl in America.

Highly recommend having *** on your lunch break.

Just used the word “discombobulated” send help

You get two (2) selfies today because the legs are legging.

Cannot stop listening to this song.

Sprung

My sister told me to text her when we’re 20 minutes away so she could put the chicken taquitos in the oven… that’s love.

Grandma’s Easter tree 🐣🎄🐇

Pastels for Easter travel? Groundbreaking.

WTF is he rambling about? Get this idiot the eff off my screen and put Survivor back on.

Started hanging eucalyptus in my shower.

I’m already annoyed at April Fools’ jokes 🙄

I love going on long walks by myself, but I get sad toward the end of them 😔

New Yorkers who ride classic CitiBikes > actual cyclists > tourists who ride any type of bike > anyone who rides an E-bike

You know that part in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door where Mario is shot to the moon? Do that to me. 🌝

It’s like an Italian sub without the bread 🤤