every year i watch rudolph with my stuffed bumbles so they can see themselves on tv

i have questions. deep questions and concerns @bigsamthompson.bsky.social

hey if you try to call my phone is off now just so you know @bigsamthompson.bsky.social

i’m gonna make actual cooking required food tomorrow and i hope i don’t fuck it up

food acquired and cats fed!

cat food and human food is on the way here hell yeah

i just ordered cat food and groceries and ive never been more stoked for food in my life

dear @bigsamthompson.bsky.social give me a little ringy dingy whenever you see this no rush just wanna touch base about some stuff and i don’t wanna interrupt you and all that 🫡

i’m out of cat food and most human food (stuff that the food banks don’t offer) and im panicking about how to feed the cats

never reschedule a doctors appt bc you won’t get another one until april 🙃 who needs to breathe anyway not me clearly

hey @bigsamthompson.bsky.social nothing has happened yet but my phone is being weird when i try to call people but call me if you get a chance no rush or anything i’ve just got a question or two

i probably need to go to urgent care but since i can’t get there i’ll just let this infection kill me off perhaps

i have so much i need to do and no way to get anywhere. who needs a primary care doctor appt anyway apparently

i can’t cry my eyes are dry even though i’m sad. maybe i’m broken

i feel weird. i’m tired. but also i’m sad but i can’t cry. i’ve tried. i feel like scared but i’m also just chilling and the house feels off but idk why

also i have medications now for my fucked up brain

hey @bigsamthompson.bsky.social you’ll never guess what coupons i got in the mail but i won’t throw them away this time

he’s good at being my therapy cat

if you want a cat that’s cute and friendly now is the time to come get them

hard to get the cats to a shelter and myself to a shelter. and to the dmv to do trailer things with no car and no ride. actually i may as well die in this house and the cats can eat me when they get hungry that’s the last option but apparently the only one available to me that doesn’t require help

crazy i could be homeless as soon as tomorrow and i don’t have any way to take these cats to a shelter and also don’t have a way to get to a shelter myself

these cats have no idea that i don’t know what to do with them and have very little time to figure it out. they are being fat and cute and breaking my heart and i’m letting them and everyone down.

so there is nowhere for my cats to go so if someone wants four cats i guess i have some because i’m gonna be homeless next week and i cannot leave them alone in a trailer with no humans in it

anyway i guess the humane society just isn’t good at returning calls or emails (that they insist is a faster way to get answers) but i’ve got 4 cats and im gonna be homeless next week sooooo

anyway imminent homelessness is real and i guess ill be sleeping in the woods and freezing to death soon so 🫡

finally found the box i’ve been searching for. pictures i’ve never seen of mom and grandma and then one of baby me

me: looking forward to therapy tomorrow after it got pushed back three times this week and i need to talk about stuff therapy: tomorrows appt cancelled as of 5 minutes ago it’s for such a valid reason but i am in panic mode about life and talking about things helps i’ve found

wish i had a spare 1170 to not get evicted but alas

this little demon is four today

i am having a ✨bad day✨

doctor grumbles doing her best

i’m like actually sick on top of tooth infection sick and this guy decided i needed his professional medical help

didnt have a panic attack in the pick your own food food bank so that’s a success. my sinus infection is seemingly a tooth infection so i’m swollen and suffering despite the antibiotics so meh

went to urgent care today and got more arby’s coupons in the mail @bigsamthompson.bsky.social

guess i’m getting up early tomorrow and trying to make an appointment for urgent care

had to throw away perfectly good arby’s coupons today and thought of you @bigsamthompson.bsky.social

if anyone has a spare 450 dollars so my house doesn’t get auctioned off that would be nice

my tummy aches and i feel nauseous. surely that’s not a bad sign

i feel weird being here alone. i’ve applied to lots of places and made phone calls and tomorrow i’m gonna get up early and make more phone calls something has to give at some point

circa 1999 🖤

4 days….

🖤🩵

i miss my mom. but i’m thankful for virtual and irl friends coming together in a time of need

i need help

my mom is gone

my uncle decided to go batshit and told me that he will no longer pay for cremation and to never contact him again sooo anyone wanna move in or house me

also moms doctor called and said she’ll be passing in a couple of days probably

anyone wanna move in and keep me from being homeless?

i’m turning my panic into like doing nothing helpful because idk what to do i spent 7 hours last night ona discord call as a distraction but i still kept coming back to my fears and how alone i am and idk i have a lot of feelings and concerns and no answers

mom is still holding mostly steady had one episode where she needed a dose of morphine. i miss her this house is too empty and im scared that in a couple of weeks i won’t be able to live here and idk what to do