If you listened to the latest surprise episode of The Comedy Button…somehow the rats have returned. Now they’re eating ice baths.

We’re like 20 minutes of rambling away from getting “And why not have a white history month, right?”

The Bailey’s have a flight coming up and have been looking forward to it for a long time. He can’t let them down.

I saw this movie a couple years ago. Now they rebooted it and changed the name of the main character.

Also starring Gertrude Safeway.

Millennials and Gen Z in New York tonight gonna party like our old asses did on 2008 when Obama won. Enjoy it. Elections can be fun and hopeful events.

My wife asking me what I have planned for her birthday tomorrow when in reality I completely forgot her birthday.

We used to be a society on Halloween. We used to have a country.

It’s also why every kid was convinced Hoverboards were real because Zemeckis said they were using banned technology.

Watching someone go from normal to a millionaire and then to a multi-multi-multi-millionaire in about 6 years was one of the most eye-opening experiences of what wealth can do to a person and their perception of reality and rules.

With special guest Dr. Joyce Brothers, Joan Embry from the San Diego Zoo, and THE POPE!!!

This is why I keep my podcast feeds. This is such a nice surprise. Playing the Thank You song for @brianaltano.bsky.social @scottbromley.bsky.social @rydog.bsky.social @maxscoville.bsky.social

Eat shit, farmers!

Daniel Lurie in his next instagram reel: “Hi I’m Mayor Daniel Lurie, I’m here in the Mission doing a ride along with ICE. Who knew this was so much fun?! I’m meeting so many people from Fresno, Modesto, and Stockton experiencing this neighborhood for the first time. This is the best city in the US!”

So I guess the good news is you can distract them by saying “WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE?!” and then walk away to safety while they’re distracted.

I sea drugs and I do ‘em!

Diane Feinstein on Nov. 5th.

I really do feel like all the lead boomers and early to mid-Gen Xers were exposed to is really starting to make itself apparent

15 minutes late for a fucking Domingo sketch?!

RIP to a legend. Hands down one of the best late night interviews of all time. I love watching Gene and Paul SEETH as Ace instantly takes over for a full hour. youtu.be/elwJNGS9aQ0?...

Any guesses?!?!

Watching him surprise a half full theater on opening night for Tron 3 in San Francisco was the best comedy he’s appeared in in years.

Wait, you’re telling me the guy that turned his tower into the Eye of Sauron isn’t that great of a person?

I want to A) meet the person with the balls to sell half eaten cereal on Facebook marketplace for $8 and B) the person that buys it.

Call me old fashioned but I’m more concerned about the masked roust-abouts, nare-do-wells, and ruffians currently cosplaying as agent provocateurs in cities they don’t live in against peaceful tub thumping firebrands.

Hot take but…The more I see of Sora 2 the more I think they may have shot themselves in the foot: the upcoming onslaught of slop will make people stop believing anything they see online and completely disengage from the internet.

Karen Sorkin

Star Wars fans to Swifties this weekend.

It’s okay to say Life of a Showgirl is mid/bad. It’s also okay to take an extended break and let people miss you.

“And another thing, MAYONNAISE IS TOO SPICY!”

Buuuut if you shutdown the government the Bureau of Labor Statistics can’t release their report on Friday.

This is like that part in Epcot’s “World of Energy” when Bill NYE says while solar power is neat it’s not as good as Oil and Gas. Then you get off the ride and walk through an Exxon commercial.

It’s still September, you pumpkin spice ass bitch.

Me running out of Ground Kontrol:

Wait until he reads a sternly worded letter from Schumer and Jeffries about democratic norms. That’ll change his tune for sure!

Everybody knows Tannis Root is what healthy babies need, not Tylenol.

Mister Police I gave you all the clues.

I was literally gonna post about this last week and how it still seems timeless. It’s a masterclass in storytelling and the composition of shot choices are all intentional. Plus it really is hard to lock down an era for when this was made if you didn’t know it was 1986

This is what is playing in my head anytime anyone asks me, “what are you thinking about?”

I don’t think My Patriot Supply has enough money to sponsor 100 million podcasts

She also hooked up with Puck, so, like…

Ah yes, during Q1, when the snow falls and construction projects boom.

Same energy

I think there’s an older sibling or funny uncle of one of the kids in my 3 year olds daycare, but now he thinks “nothing beats a Jet2 Holiday” is the funniest thing he’s ever heard. (He’s never seen the meme from either one of us)

And by spine they mean a sternly worded letter