I mean, I'm from Queens, which has a megastructure so ominous it played a starring role in one of the biggest movies of the late 90s

A fun thing about having a cat is that eating string cheese becomes a collaborative experience

Half-drowsing narcotics brain invented a lawyer named Cindy Snakes whose highway billboard says "Cindy Snakes does what it takes"

Breast reduction is done! Nearly 2.5 pounds removed. In pain but tolerable, especially with hydrocodone. Cat is keeping a respectful distance from my chest (probably thanks to mastectomy pillow).

Last day as a big-boobéd person! I realized my cat is going to have less of a pillow to rest her little head on and that makes me a little sad

I thought the Knicks won the whole thing the other day but it turns out you guys were just excited because they won *a* game?

mindblown.gif

"Sorry, nephew, I can't remember your age because that part of my brain is occupied by way too many 'My Cousin Vinny' quotes"

Why do I lose even the tiny shreds of my ability to act like a normal person the second I step into a dispensary

The existence of OralB implies the existence of HandStuffB

Heated Rivalry has me thinking about the best TV needle drops. The ones that don't just take advantage of the existing associations of the song but actively change the song's associations from then on. Here are some that come to mind for me:

"Doctors and patients, not politicians, should be the ones making decisions about what medical treatments are appropriate." That's all you have to say, people! For fuck's sake!

At a certain point, a foodstuff ceases being a waffle and starts being an engraved pancake

I hope the music supervisor for Heated Rivalry was well-compensated. That Wolf Parade song fucked me up

I'm curious about whether, after my breast reduction, my style will become more butch (because my giant honkers will no longer be in the way) or more femme (because I will no longer feel grotesque in delicate clothes). Excited to find out!

Thrifting achievement unlocked: first cashmere sweater

In order for a cloud to have a silver lining, or indeed a lining of any sort, it would need to be hollow, which is such a profound misunderstanding of what a cloud is that I'm not sure I can trust the speaker's advice

I just mentioned that I was asexual to a close friend for the first time (my first time saying it to anyone I know in meatspace) and it feels both like nothing at all but also weirdly emotional to realize that I sort of came out? Feelings are complicated, man

I have finally started watching Heated Rivalry and wow the Foley department really got to stretch their muscles, huh

99.9% of the time, having a black and white laser printer at home is great. I can just go to the library on the rare occasion that I need to print something in color! But now I want to print several pages of photos of naked breasts to give to my reduction surgeon and the library is not ideal

I can now report three interrelated facts: 1) liquid amoxicillin is the exact same bubblegum flavor that it was in the 1980s 2) they prescribe the same amoxicillin for cats as they do for humans 3) cats do not like bubblegum flavor

Doctor: "You should use your inhaler four times a day for the next week, even if you don't feel like you need it" Me, at home, looking at my inhaler: "Okay but I don't feel like I need this so maybe I'll wait" (why am I like this)

If I go to a car dealership in uggo mode will I get a better deal or a worse deal

I hate it when I see a house with messed-up blinds, because that means that there's a cat somewhere in that house that is not currently visible

Another thing I miss about NYC is going into a pizzeria and getting a little paper cup of vanilla chocolate chip Italian ices that would gradually saturate the cup as it melted until you were just slurping up sugar water with tiny chocolate chips in it

Why does the UK only export shit ideas like puritanism and not great ideas like the drug store meal deal

GREG DAVIES: seems like a kind of a shit task. Everyone just seems like they're going home normally. ALEX HORNE: well before you say that let's have a look at how Odysseus did. cut to panel of AJAX, MENELAUS, AGAMEMNON, and DIOMEDES who are all staring at ODYSSEUS with his head in his hands

Having one of those rough moments where I did something extremely nice for my mom and I am now realizing that my expectations for how she would appreciate it were premised on her becoming an entirely different person

My phone just tried to correct "astronomical clock" to "astronomical cock" (in a text to my dad)

so like lemme weigh in on this as someone who is more financially comfortable than many in my generational cohort: everything I have gained seems precarious and temporary because I know the people with real money will take it all from me the second they get an opportunity and no one will protect me.

One of the aspects of installing solar panels they don't tell you about is that you suddenly understand why 1955 Doc Brown was so flabbergasted by the idea of having 1.21 gigawatts at hand

How your email finds me

I have noticed that old people seem to think that tap-based technologies rely purely on the intentions of the user rather than any kind of scientific principle

Imagine if "Witness" was exactly the same except they gave Harrison Ford an authentic Amish haircut

Why does the NYTimes crossword always describe a taco as a "snack." Who tf is out there having a single 3pm taco

neither ruffles nor neckties

Me reading the first two thirds of the headline: 😀 Me reading the final third: 😦

the Six Gindahs is a Kiwi feminist punk band

Wait, WHAT?!

I do not understand the "glass skin" trend. It just looks like you're super oily?

I just heard Dolly Parton's 2023 cover of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" and it's so bad it almost outweighs all of her charitable work www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNL5...

I watched the #GoodOmens finale and I give it a solid A–. Nailed the landing.

I made this chickpea salad yesterday and it was a very tasty vegetarian alternative to tuna/chicken salad! www.realsimple.com/food-recipes...

How long do you think it will be until Trump starts (publicly) dropping the actual n-word? Because it's going to happen.

It should be possible to buy a single stalk of celery

I played "JAWS" for 141 points. My father was not as delighted as I was

"making sure that successive generations maintain the mission they did not opt into" is kind of just society though, isn't it (and we for sure failed)

I've had the synth line from MGMT's "Kids" stuck in my head ever since I saw that first skeet about the millennial song, which seems like a definitive answer to the question

Before I watched Pitt S2, I briefly saw a skeet that started with something like "at the end of the final episode of S2, Robbie is in a halo..." and I stopped reading, assuming that a) I had been spoiled and b) Robbie was in a medical halo, because he rode off on his bike without a helmet