Surprise surprise, reducing calories broke through the plateau in the cut. You hate to see it. Surely the solution can be chocolate cake at least once.

What if he just falls over dead on camera at the White House lawn UFC cage match

Got head before the gym but not after so what’s even the point of being alive?

Chest Day

Let’s try and have a violently homosexual Friday

We keep a variety pack of crystal lite on hand for waters and stuff for when you want a lil 0 calorie drink and we all just realized tonight that one flavor out of the entire variety pack is caffeinated. And we’ve been caffeine nuking ourselves late at night 😭

Big 👏 wide 👏 boulder 👏 shoulders

Switching it up tonight and instead of sweet potatoes and beef, making sweet potatoes and chicken. Just try and stop me.

Cutting is all part of the process but it is the worst part of the process.

I KEEP SAYING THIS

Arm Day ft new veins from this cut (alt text available)

Anyone else having image upload issues or does Bluesky just hate me

🙂‍↕️ 🙂‍↕️

Developing a voice for my Spire Inksmith named Winchester and I’ve solidly landed on Benoit Blanc: “The suspect in question had the ugliest face you’ve ever seen, ugly as sin, but the most beautiful bush. The kind of bush that makes you ask, ‘Is this the real Spire I’ve been looking for all along?”

My beautiful fiance, whom I love so much, is sabotaging my cut by making what is the most delicious bread I have ever tasted. Chat, do I kill him or kiss him? Both?

Anyone with IG knowledge—on my business profile, it keeps hiding DM requests and sometimes just fully crashing out when I try to access them. Is there something I’m doing wrong? 😭

Bonus pic ft @localbugbear.bsky.social

WOMEN!!! This is for YOU!

Hitting second shoulder day because I respect women so much.

Shoulder Day pt 1

BUT IT AINT PRETTY

Still hanging on to my 1 plate 3x5 barbell shoulder press on this cut, so that’s something I guess

Looking for thong recommendations where the strap will peak out of my jeans while I’m out at the club (no idea why my fiance accuses me of bottombaiting people)

Where my perverts at?

“We listen & we don’t judge” I say at the Chipotle counter while doing a ‘keep it comin’ motion with my hand until there’s enough corn in the burrito that I’ll be shittin like an Uzi

I yearn for you the way the Knights of the Round Table yearned to take succor in each other’s bodies but couldn’t because all that armor is very difficult to take on and off so they had to settle for a little kissie in the cheek instead.

I’m a Mel main and I’m proud I’m a Mel main and I’m proud

Really enjoyed our time together today, king. I promise to only stroke myself off for an hour or two thinking about it when I get back home.

Leg Day (legs not featured)

Insane he achieved what many would consider the Ideal Elite Build and then added 90lbs of muscle onto it. 🥵😵‍💫🥵😵‍💫

Cut has stalled so it’s time to reduce calories a bit… and I simply do not want to. I want to be bulking 😭

A little drama for back day

And computah, make it supah gay

computah, give me 20 more lbs of lean muscle mass

Don’t fuckle with shuckle

It says “Eat 15 twinkies and purchase a sex swing.” You will not sabotage my cut, Dark Intelligence!

Consulting My Dark Intelligence

🥵🥵

if (big) { // “true” }

Laundry day, so you know what that means—stroking out loads in between loads. 😮‍💨

I’m “Priority Specimen” 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Push Day

why aren’t we breeding inside the popemobile rn

Why aren’t we at the nude beach rn

Insaannnee

DND session tomorrow and I have built an entire backstory and puzzle around a Cosmo Sheldrake song for the Big Bad which will be the focus of the final three sessions of the campaign. I may not be mentally well.

Good morning

The good news is they’re going to send me an offer letter. The bad news is they can only offer 12(!!!!) hours initially until I pick up more clients. Chat, am I crazy? What is that?

Oh hey 7000 of you follow me now. I’m so sorry.