I love it when people refuse to let people (me) merge. You petty little bald bastard, fair play.

Pretty sure I've got COVID. Hope it finishes me off

Houston, we have a (racism) problem

Grey and cold today. Like your future

Remember when Liverpool were a goal down and Gerrard would start Hollywood passing it in the last ten minutes? Bruno plays like that from the first minute, every week. 100 million we lost on that bastard

Not overreacting but that Portuguese bastard wants tipping in the canal

Anyway, podcast coming next month. It's just me and @rondellehobbs.bsky.social sat in a Toby carvery slagging people off, so don't get carried away

Am I the only person in the world without a podcast?

I'd love to water cannon Tommy Robinson, imagine how far he'd go

110,000 people at that march today. 349 teeth in total.

Someone's called me 'bud' twice on here and I don't like it

If you know who the shooter is no you don't

Just wanna be sat in Cascais, half cut listening to Simon and Garfunkel

But he's got kids! They'll be better people without that poisonous wanker in their lives

Chat shit, get shot in the throat

Horse racing on strike

Eating a banana and the cat trots past with a mouse in her mouth. I can't live like this

Please strangle the corgis

Think of how much we could give to the most vulnerable if we took everything off them and punted them all into The Thames

Nice of Prince Harry to give a million pounds of our money to charity

Imagine someone normal needs to buy white and red paint, that awful conversation at the till about not being a racist.

Oh have a look

@rondellehobbs.bsky.social hey up cocker did you get home alright

Stop sending dms. I'm not verifying I'm an adult.

Not weird at all

Keep your secrets

@apap.bsky.social paedo

I'm in that London if anyone wants their mum insulting

The weather is very mild which is enjoyable but then tempered by my first encounter of someone smelling like a chimpanzee Have a bath you tramps

Amanda Holden is ageing gracefully then, squawking away looking like a haunted turnip Why do they do it

Why does every single bastard website want to send notifications? Yeah sure bbc good food, I wanna know the second a new goulash recipe drops. Leave me alone.

So Vance was in the Marines. As a photographer

My biggest fear? Easy, the postcode lottery

Anyway have a lovely Sunday

Has anyone been more in need of a swift backhander across the face than Elon Musk? Someone punch him in the face. Boot that kid across the room too, little bastard

Yer ma does her own MOTs

Hermit handball was found mummified

Lulu, Madonna, the one humping on about a total eclipse of the heart, Janet fucking jackson Frogmarched into the sea

Yer fella has Lulu tickets

Lulu has announced (promised?) this year will be her final year of touring Who is paying to see that screechy old mess??

Still, sad news about hermit handball

Gene Hackman's wife was 32 years younger than him

Surely the Trump administration ends with ransacked Presidential Palaces

I hate the videos of that old man singing. Get him in a home/warden controlled flat. Creepy old bastard

If you ask me to review anything I've purchased then you get 1 star. Leave me alone

I like to try and get into CEX by 9am when bitcoin starts to plummet

People who can't hold a grudge freak me out. I've been sat on some for 20 years.

Yer bird sent Nigel Farage a tenner for his birthday

He's been diagnosed with platinum gout

How do you get double pneumonia