Some weekend ish for @culturemap.bsky.social. houston.culturemap.com/news/enterta...

Just got off a bus where the driver got into it with a Spanish-speaking dude about not paying, before eventually giving up and letting him ride. When he got off the bus, he told the driver, “Have a nice day!” I now understand why bus drivers are assholes around here.

QTP with a gif of a powerful woman!

Well, the secret’s finally out. www.chron.com/culture/arti...

I wrote this.

I'm doing a 713 Day rundown again for @culturemap.bsky.social. If you have any events on that day, now is a good time to speak up. Here's last year's rundown: houston.culturemap.com/news/enterta...

I swear to God, if someone posts “India.Arie is trying to ruin my summer” ONE MO GOTDAMN TIME…

Anyone know where I can track down the original (or director’s) cut of SHAOLIN SOCCER?

My favorite movie about America. Just sayin’. www.theguardian.com/film/2021/ma...

Is there a thunderstorm in Houston, or are we still doing fireworks?

I’m bracing for the inevitable race war that’ll go down if and when the Democrats win the midterms. I wouldn’t be surprised if Orange Chicken “suggests” to his MAGA peeps that all the minorities/immigrants/queer folk are coming for them & they should stock up on AR-15s, just in case.

Every time an attractive person roasts me, I’m like, “Well, that’s gonna fester some resentment.”

Just thought I’d remind all the Houstonians that I write a weekend event planner for @culturemap.bsky.social every Wednesday. If you have events that need a shout-out, let me know. If you need something to do on the weekends, here’s the link: houston.culturemap.com/series/weeke...

NEW YORK IS A WHOLE-ASS MOTION PICTURE NOW!!!

Remember when a woman director made a Barbie film that grossed $1 Billion at the box office, and studios basically responded by saying, “That was great, but never do it again!”? Pepperidge Farms remembers….

If the India.Arie/Yung Miami whateva has taught us anything, it’s that a lot of muhfuckas out here really don’t know how nuance works.

new metaphor just dropped

I wrote about AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY for @nashvillescene.com. www.nashvillescene.com/criticspicks...

Some weekend ish for @culturemap.bsky.social. houston.culturemap.com/news/enterta...

I wrote this.

At what moment did you learn life was unfair? For me, it was when I chased some elementary-school kids around a classroom for constantly telling me I had AIDS, and I ended up getting paddled by the principal for it. Also, somewhere in the middle, some kid beat my ass.

“The cavalcade of jackassery on display is exhausting.”

Mel Brooks and the Davids.

I wrote this.

Nicolas Cage’s best movie.

Has anyone ever given you a “How dare you!” unironically? And wasn’t that the exact moment you realized this person was a POS and needed their ass beat?

Reason #22 I Was a Weird Child: My ten-year-old ass was obsessed with this movie. I had the soundtrack and everything. crookedmarquee.com/classic-corn...

Finally read @bilgeebiri.bsky.social’s beautiful oral history on Spielberg that people in the comments don’t appreciate because dude is apparently a Zionist. www.vulture.com/article/oral...

So, basically, the Great American State Fair is just the Fyre Festival if the organizers still went ahead and put on a show.

I’ve mostly been in the house broke and depressed as fuck, so I’ve only seen three of these. Check the comments to see which ones. www.avclub.com/best-films-2...

I’m at a bus stop on 59 and Bissonnet and I’ve already had two 65 METRO buses pass me.

They found Popeyes. 😭

Some weekend ish for @culturemap.bsky.social. houston.culturemap.com/news/enterta...

Bumped into another person today I’ve recently gotten to know, but didn’t recognize. At this point, I don’t know if my face blindness is due to early-onset Alzheimer’s, my formative years of being a TV-watching hermit, or just losing faith in people & choosing to be by my damn self.

I once heard somebody say, “I went to see WHY DO FOOLS RUSH IN last night.”

Am I going blind or is it now customary for movies to look like that shit was shot in the dark?

Since I haven’t been there in a while, are the bathrooms at Houston Public Library’s downtown location still, for lack of a better word, nasty as fuck?

I wrote about Arthouse Houston’s upcoming Wes Anderson salute for @culturemap.bsky.social. houston.culturemap.com/news/society...

I wrote about WALL-E (playing at @belcourttheatre.bsky.social) for @nashvillescene.com. www.nashvillescene.com/criticspicks...

Just sayin’. PayPal.me/unclecrizzle

This one too.

I wrote this too.

I wrote this.

Guess I’ll post my @culturemap.bsky.social Juneteenth planner again. houston.culturemap.com/news/enterta...

I wrote this.

Even with all the scientific jargon, I understood what this person is saying: Orange Boy doesn’t know shit about science, and he should find some muhfuckas who do to fix this shit before he contaminates the whole damn town.

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Roger Ebert: June 18, 1942 – April 4, 2013 - by Chaz Ebert www.rogerebert.com/tributes/hap...

I wrote about the soundtracks for THE FINAL COMEDOWN and THE SPOOK WHO SAT BY THE DOOR for @avclub.com. www.avclub.com/sounds-of-bl...

Name a TV show you're positive no one remembers but you.

Some weekend ish for @culturemap.bsky.social. houston.culturemap.com/news/enterta...