Lil update on the other day: Days later and I am doing a bit better. I'm still suffering from regular panic attacks but my overall mood is getting better. Trying to take life one day at a time, even if it feels like it's shattering sometimes. Think this is one of the hardest times I've been through

Feel like every step forward I just fuck everything up and take a large jump in the opposite direction. Feeling pretty hopeless and realizing I'm showing signs of a certain undiagnosed mental illness but I can't get diagnosed because it will end my career if I do. I don't know what to do anymore :(

Taking life one day at a time, and starting to feel pretty okay. For the first time in a long time I don't feel any anxiety and my brain is quiet. Gotten a lot accomplished in terms of tasks and my mental health. Fixing my issues feels extremely within reach, and I hope good things are soon to come.

You ever just regret doing something SO bad and feel like there's nothing you can do about it and no matter how hard you try it might just not be fixable? Cause I sure do 🥲

Checking out Necesse thanks to DareDrop Live - settlement building and stuff Playing: Necesse For your viewing experience, click here: 🍆 www.twitch.tv/russ_money

Anxiety's a bitch, man.

Marathoning the FEAR games this October, starting with the original of course! twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Today I will continue and maybe finish Cry of Fear Such a spooky game Come watched me get SCARED twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Here's a clip of me getting absolutely humbled from today's stream: www.twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Cry of Fear :) twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Marvel Rivals finally added Daredevil, who is my favorite Marvel hero and nothing is more tragic than the realization that I am absolute dogshit trying to play as him

Aright Mr. Balatro, I'll play your games.... It's Balatro time!! Come hang. www.twitch.tv/kagedbird

Getting in the horror mood by playing Nightmare House for the first time! twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Finishing Dying Light: twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Secret Early Dying Light Stream twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

ISO horror game suggestions for stream this month. I yearn to be spooked.

SUPER SONIC RACING with Satwo :) twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

I know it just came out and I'm sure it's the initial hype but holy fuck I love Sonic Crossworlds. Getting to race around to the Frontiers OST is soooooooooo dope!

Da Beast, Dying Light edition twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

The new Dying Light is so damn refreshing after having been burnt by so many triple A games the past few years

More Dying Light Da Beast twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Trying out that new Dying Light game Crane on a crane on a crane twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

To the person that decided to put Sonic cosmetics for Fortnite halfway through Rocket League's battle pass so that I have to play this dumb game....I just wanna talk

Maaaaaan I don't get sick often but when I do it hits like a freight train. I feel like TRASH 🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️🗑️

Patiently waiting for Dying Light and Sonic Crossworlds to release

Round 2, Lego has been really good for my 'tism and depression let me tell you lol

Just completely turned my brain off for the past few hours to build this and I haven't felt this good in a hot minute :]

Went and saw the new Demon Slayer movie today. Animation and action was really good but man I really hope anime moves away from the dumbass trope of stopping a fight every 10 seconds to show me a flashback.

I think I will finally sit down this weekend and finally build the Lego sets I've been sitting on for months. Yes one is a Sonic set. Yes the other one is a giant Minecraft crafting table set. Yes I will be displaying them with the others in my office.

I'm so goddamn tired of feeling exhausted, sad, and having back pain all the time >:[ What's a guy gotta do to feel normal again, MAN

I can't wait for Spotify Wrapped to come out this year and expose the sheer amount of emo, Sabrina Carpenter, and Chappell Roan I've listened to this year 🥴

Think I wanna sit down and learn how to be good at editing one of these days. I need something to do that isn't just aimlessly sitting at my computer. I'm sitting on so many clips just WAITING to be uploaded to TikTok. 😎

Just took an extra-strength Tylenol and now I have a sudden hyperfixation on Sonic lore

Gonna stream a lil bit of zomboid todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Went on a run yesterday for the first time in a long time, went a little harder than I intended to and woke up with my back and legs in absolute SHAMBLES lol

Daily zomboid stream post: twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Chill zawmboyd stream :) twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Finally got a new SSD finally and I can't wait to install exactly two games on it before it fills up :)

Zom...boid twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

I have not slept all night but I'm wired so imma play some more Zomboid :) twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Why does there have to be so many new games coming out that I want, my wallet can't handle it :(

Man I really don't know what changed in the last week but every bad memory of the past year has been flooding back into my head and I've been on the worst downward spiral. Anxiety is through the roof and I've had a panic attack every day for several days now. I'm exhausted, man.

Zombooooooooid :) twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Late to post this when I went live BUT I'm streaming another Zomboid run currently twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

I have to get ready for work in an hour. Did I sleep at all? No. Did a panic attack keep me awake? Absolutely. :)

Getting drunk and playing Hatsune Miku and J-Pop songs on Fortnite Festival for hours last night was truly an experience

Finishing up RE8! twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Continuing RE Village :) twitch.tv/thereedyrain...

Dude I cannot stress how much I'm looking forward to RE9, I'm so glad Resident Evil didn't die with RE6 :)

Griefed by a perfectly timed gunshot www.twitch.tv/thereedyrain...