Me, almost 40, trying to regain control of my life after an incredibly stressful week, both personally and ~ the whole world ~ : "Ah, let me try a relaxing skincare regimen that feels both like self-care and productive." My face, also almost 40: "Ok, yeah, I'm going to burn right off now."

I think a reporter in the Bahamas would’ve asked him about it and he would’ve said “What snowstorm?” OR maybe drove down in Eastern Parkway in a zamboni, throwing salt out like he’s in a parade.

Just for fun, I wanna hear everyone's most outlandish ways they think Eric Adams would've handled this snowstorm in NYC.

I said this last time but their real position is “if you disagree with us we can kill you.”

Think we’re gonna just have to scrap this iteration and start over, there’s just too much hate inside this one.

Would love to not have to keep reposting this. The violence displayed in the video is horrific. You don't need to watch it. The descriptions are accurate.

Tonight, I pulled out thousand year old oil pastels and made a silly little (complimentary) wine glass for these Silly Little Times (derogatory).

ICE radicalizing whole ass police forces was not on my bingo card, but I guess here we are?

So if I go through an autism evaluation and it confirms my 99% certainty that I am indeed autistic, do I need to call everyone I’ve ever had a relationship with and be like “Ok, so…” or what?

This is an amazing use of sharing important community information but heads up y’all, this program was already in place in NYC!

Minnesota is made out of something different, the folks there are fearless and inspiring and showing us all how to do it right.

Jerome Powell launching the resistance on this, the evening of the Golden Globes, when my last post was thirsty for Heated Rivalry 2: The Mighty Ducks, just truly speaks to The Times (TM).

Make season 2 of Heated Rivalry a reuniting of Charlie Conway and Gunnar Stahl as coaches of respective Olympic teams, you cowards!!

*into the void* THE THING IS BAD CHARACTER DOES NOT EQUAL A DEATH SENTENCE, IT SIMPLY DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOUR CHARACTER IS.

The first artist is Peter Halley

that 4th one is Maya Hayuk! I adore her work, especially Multiverse in the MOCA Jacksonville collection, which is similar to the Brooklyn Museum one but vibrantly colored and not as wide. It's so brilliant in person, and i love the way the textures and painterly bits become visible.

Managed to take the small guy to the Brooklyn Museum without breaking anything, a win for boy moms everywhere!!

Whew, haven’t woken up to a new illegal war in awhile.

A summary of an email I just received: “Happy New Year! We’re writing to inform you that we, the hospital system that has all of your doctors, will not be taking you insurance next year. Godspeed and may the odds be ever in your favor!”

I dunno, just sharing my own personal 2026 INS/OUTS list that no one asked for but I am releasing into the world anyway

Made a few new friends today that I want to share with the world in These Times (TM)

It’s that time of year* again *the time of year where I traverse between Cincinnati and Columbus on I-71 and get to experience the best set of billboards ever

Something something “monetizing the dysfunction” something something

Now how long do we think I’ll be getting norovirus? My five year old has fallen at like 4:45 and we shared a milkshake roughly around 12:30, so…any estimates? And also 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Giant Christmas trees twinkling in Brooklyn brownstone windows? That’s ✨ holiday magic ✨ babyyy!

Dear people who get their periods, How do you best describe how you feel the few days beforehand? I mostly just want to lay on the earth and let it grow over me and cover me with soil, is this normal, y/n, please share your equally weird feelings.

Shoutout to my five year old who 😌 won’t let me listen to Christmas music and is slowly driving me to the brink of madness 😌

It’s worth repeating that we absolutely don’t have to live like this and that it is a choice our government has made.

This time, the 5 train snuck into the station and because of that, he's going to call "Paw Patrol."

Did anyone else have a holiday break retail job at the mall and have to work until like 2-4AM and take your break in an empty mall in the middle of the night while the most harrowing Christmas music played into that emptiness?

Why do anything to prepare for the holidays when you can instead, spend an evening oil painting a pomegranate?

My kid pretended to call “Paw Patrol” on my husband because he thought he threw away his pretzels and honestly, where did we go wrong?

The idea that this “Let them eat cake” ass man was ever going to take part in raising a newborn with or without ChatGPT is HIL-ARIOUS.

I hate the Brooklyn Whole Foods because what do you mean I got overstimulated and irrationally mad at a man who innocently ended up being Jordan Klepper from The Daily Show?

One of the most annoying things about the patriarchy to me is that why do men get all the good Broadway songs?

Trump just loves hot people, that’s my take.

Girls* will simply make an ✨ entirely new website ✨ dedicated to their silly little oil paintings instead of updating their design portfolio. *Sigh, it’s me, I’m “Girls.”

Can't say my kid's name without the hint of a New York accent, can't say the word "county" without a fully Kentucky twang, and that, my friends is what we call, "worldly."

“Why am I so sad today” and other questions I ask blindly even though it’s clear I’m a week out from my period.

I really hope the transparency and openness of city politics that he’s embracing help people realize they can also run! This type of communication is so appealing in both educating AND fundraising.

The kind of energy I’m bringing to the function

Shoutout to my husband, who’s always said “They don’t need to conspire, they just talk about all of this stuff while golfing and out in their yachts.” Touché, sir.

Painted the moodiest apple in the world last night after my mushrooms I originally wanted to paint were no good. So this is “Apple but I actually wanted to paint Mushrooms.”

Thinking about how “Party Girl” and “You’ve Got Mail” technically exist in the same New York and how Parker Posey is living such drastically different lives in each of them.

Ok but did anyone know that the hardest ass statue existed in Jersey City and just…refuse to tell me?

I'm talking not just to myself but to every brunette woman in New York City right now: we're just not gonna be able to pull off Rama Duwaji's haircut, I'm sorry, we need to accept that now, don't do it.

When one partner is terminally online and the other thinks maybe they’re going crazy

My mom called to chat and wanted to say so many incredulous things about Zohran but bless her, she merely just made a few passive aggressive comments and moved on.