Maaaaaaaaan, I gotta listen to Zaidman call the fifth even in the playoffs? I don’t need this aggravation.

It will never stop breaking my heart how much energy, time and money people — both amateur and professional — spend analyzing and debating which shitty fast food options are slightly less shitty than the other shitty fast food options.

Trying to get ye olde Top Chef Power Rankings blog archived and migrated before TypePad shuts down, and man, I'd forgotten just *how many* of the contestants and staff spent time in the comments section. That blog was a bizarre and wild little happening for a few years, there.

This might not strike me as totally unreasonable if I didn’t happen to know that Brian’s Song is on their waiting room playlist.

Haha... this is a *brilliant* parody. ...<touches earpiece>... ...I'm sorry, I'm being told this is the actual menu.

For everybody who's asked how the hell we navigated Tokyo before smartphones and Google Maps? This is how we navigated Tokyo before smartphones and Google Maps. (Just found this scan of a map a friend drew for me for a recommendation in Meguro.)

...but not essential to know the difference between tonkotsu and tonkatsu, apparently.

Who the hell would defend just blowing up suspec— oh.

Six days, 35 restaurants, 143 dishes. I don't think it would be physically possible to make more of a food trip. Oof.

Technologically advance a band. Roombaphonic

Ron and I talked for about 90 minutes and at some point I’m pretty sure I forgot this was an interview, so there’s probably some fun stuff in here.

Apropos of everything, because it cannot be said loudly or frequently enough, anybody who has a problem with trans people can get fucked.

Every time I visit, I feel more and more strongly that if I could choose to live anywhere, I would live in Ebisu.

I learned today that John Hughes was apparently super into Wax Trax in the ‘80s and this makes the end of The Breakfast Club a MILLION times more confusing.

Ordered sake at a fancypants restaurant and was offered my choice of sake cup. I feel like this is a trap.

Funny footnote. I’d already started writing a parody rave of Olive Garden to publish on my blog for April Fool’s 2012 when Hagerty published a *real* one that completely pulled the rug out from under my plan. RIP, Marilyn. May the chicken rollatini taste twice as heavenly in the afterlife.

Just tried *the* viral eggy Tokyo katsudon joint with an hour+ wait that’s been burning up your feed for two years, and here’s the thing: It’s good. Maybe very good. But there are scores if not hundreds of its equal around town. It isn’t even my favorite on *this trip*… (1/3)

If you see this, quote the energy you bring to Bluesky.

Malfunctioning card reader at the high-end sushi spot tonight spawned a Lost in Translation-esque scene with a cute Norwegian couple, a big sarcastic American, and a tiny Japanese woman in full chef's whites crammed into a convenience store vestibule extracting piles of cash from an ATM together.

I’m doing my best to stay on target, but I almost feel a responsibility to check this place out.

I only ever played one. Death Tank. Ready for action. (With eight players, that game was bananas.)

WE HAVE ARRIVED www.coyotemedia.org

Part of me is a little disheartened by the glut of tourists in Tokyo these days. (I’m not in a position to complain… I *am* one.) But there’s also something kind of beautiful about walking down the street and hearing 8-9 different languages in the span of just three minutes.

No, I’m not going to pay $150 for an extra six inches of legroom, but I might for unlimited Diet Coke refills on demand.

Catty Tokyo food snobbery incoming, but watching somebody post about Rokurinsha and Ginza Hachigo as "off the beaten path" is a little funny.

Say what you will about Waymo, after getting stuck in an Uber with a driver who’s sniffling and coughing uncontrollably for the entire ride, I will take the robot car every freaking time, thanks.

If you’re concerned about the rise of political violence, not pardoning those who perpetrate it might be a good start.

The Dark Ages was pretty much everything I want in a Doom game. I think some of y'all are picking nits. Now for something slow, moody and puzzle-y. (Maybe Blue Prince?)

Deadwood. Not resurrected now, but as it always should have been.

I'm going to tread gently, because I absolutely do not intend this as either a humblebrag or an attempt to stir things up, but is it really most people's experience that Hollow Knight was a fiendishly difficult game? (Setting aside, say, non-essential challenges like the Trial of the Fool, etc.)

I hate how many wonderful songs and classical pieces have been totally ruined by advertising. Gershwin doesn’t make me any more likely to fly United, but now I can’t hear Rhapsody in Blue without thinking about cramped seats and surly flight attendants.

Tip for New Yorkers: Stop prefacing all of your restaurant opinions with “Well, I’m from New York…” New York is filled with millions of people who have terrible taste in food, same as any other city. It doesn’t make you sound more credible. It just makes you sound like an asshole.

Oh, hey, got a free evening with my wife coming up and checked in on one of her old favorite fancypants restaurants only to discover that it's switched over to a steakhouse format. How very Phoenix.

A friend just sent me an IG video mocking influencers for taking cash to give killer reviews. Only it was a shot-by-shot carbon copy of a video another friend sent me a week ago. Even the takedowns of the fake cut and paste bullshit are fake cut and paste bullshit.

Never trust someone who says that the pasta at an Italian restaurant is undercooked.

Holy shit. Lunar New Year and Mardi Gras fall on the same day next year. This is going to be one of the greatest culinary mashup days EVER.

It’s almost September, Phoenix! Do you know what that means?!? Only two more months of summer :-|

Reviews seem disappointed (to varying degrees) that Caught Stealing lacks Aronofsky's usual ponderous heft. 100% true, and the mad genius is the guy I fell in love with too. But it's been 27 years since Pi. Hasn't he earned the right to just have a little fun with a quirky, lightweight genre flick?

Caught Stealing opens with 20 minutes of cringe and takes too long to get off the ground, but once it does, it’s an awful lot of fun, and the quirky supporting cast is gold. boxd.it/aU9hTz

What perfect album came out when you were 16? "Ooo, that's a good one........ that one too.... man, this is tough......... that's pre— WAIT. We're done here."

Okay, THIS time I know it will work. For sure this time.

OMFG this is hilarious. TypePad is shutting down, so I'm migrating some old blogs to my current server. But the WordPress install on my host interdicts the WP dashboard and first it forces me through an AI tool that asks questions and tries to build me a website, and THIS is what it came up with:

I'm sorry I can't just let this go, but it's so ridiculous I feel compelled to highlight just how ridiculous it is. Original on the top. Translation for Americans on the bottom.

Feeling kind of pissy today (did'ja notice?) and thinking about how ten years ago I got a dream job just in time to watch it die. Nothing quite like being at the helm for the end of an institution. It was fun for a few years, though. Good times.

I will crassly reskeet myself here because I cannot emphasize this enough. Scads of excellent indies are now *cheaper* than fast food. If you’re still eating fast food rather than hitting up awesome little indies, it isn’t because you can’t afford the good stuff — it’s because you prefer fast food.

Watched the S7 opener for Black Mirror tonight and I think I just lost my will to live.

Pop back onto IG for the first time in months to check on something, and in under 30 seconds I'm reminded of why I quit cold turkey. Spicy peanut butter noodles. I don't need this rage bait.

It’s bad enough that new Japanese restaurants in Phoenix can’t just pick a lane and feel obligated to try to be everything, but man, do they also have to all be the *same* everything?

I know this sounds like a Dale Gribble pest control solution, but if huntsman spiders hunt scorpions, why don’t people release a few of them into scorpion homes? Huntsmen are big and scary looking, but harmless. I’d rather live with a few of them (that I’ll probably never see) than scorpions.

Reporting in from the Uptown neighborhood of Chicago where the letter carriers' softball game and cookout could barely be heard over the chattering of machine gun fire and explosions of a city out of control.