we should deep fry the duolingo bird and put him on a stick

I learned very much in this endeavor; the sort of wisdom you can only achieve through unadulterated misery

Ate too much ice cream and had a horrible stomach ache last night. While on the throne trying to pass the time, doubling over in pain, I ended up reading about C. W. Post, who shot himself because of unbearable stomach pain. Excellent!

I have only ever been involved in the appropriate (tasteful) amount of sex scandals. Too many of those and you're tainted in the public eye. Too few of them and everyone thinks you're lame

so you're telling me a tony rigged this pasta

Me? Well, [smirking at beautiful woman] I suppose you could say I'm a rather... *competent* user of software. [desperately hoping she is impressed]

At the gas pump, paying more than I ever have in my life to fill up my car, thanking God for Her natural resources, knowing I am sinful and undeserving of them

Hey Microsoft, if you keep putting Copilot in more invasive places like the right-click menu, it'll definitely be adopted more widely and not cause widespread consumer resentment for your dogshit. I am a consultant, I will be sending you my invoice, it will be six figures

#lifehack: replace your sour cream with toothpaste. I've just hosed down an extra minty breakfast burrito.

I don’t agree with eliminating income or property taxes, I want the state to have money so it can offer public services and do good for its people The only legitimate function of a state is caring for its people. But neither political party is interested in those things. Why?

Games Done Quick's long, difficult journey to a better gaming future aftermath.site/games-done-qui...

Sat here working. Remembered I had sushi on the fridge. Dropped everything immediately

Just watched a streamer lean out of frame to vape and he said "the frontier is calling me"

A fun fact about me is I can name at least 7 colors

I had to open the On Screen Keyboard to turn off scroll lock. I don't even know how it turned on. There is not a button or combination of buttons on my work laptop that enables scroll lock, as far as I can tell

Crossed arms, the official pose of esports

It is actually Iran's fault that we spend trillions to wage dumb war that spirals the global economy out of control

Chuck Norris is showing off his roundhouse kick to the big man right now

who up amazoning their web service

My laptop has started making strange Windows 11 chimes that I've never heard and do not understand. I'm just going to ignore it

To all my friends in the eastern United States dealing with tornadoes today: here is my advice. Godspeed to you

EA does not deserve to function as a business

How it feels when everyone says "Happy Monday!" on the morning Teams call

It's Sunday night on a 23-hour day here in the US, and my hot water tap in my bathroom decided to scald the utter shit out of me. I love renting!

Frankly, I found the BIG ARCH to be mid. I'd rather have a whopper, or a baconator, if I want an indulgent fast food burger. Save yourself the $9 or whatever

The kids don’t say a post “went viral” — instead, it “blew up.” This shift is a key indicator of the horrific violence young people are exposed to, their normalization of it, and their subsequent adoption of violent language (i.e., "hits different", “the beat slaps”). In this essay I wi

No one declares war anymore, I don’t believe it’s happened a single time post-WW2 (the US last did so in 1942) So, officially speaking, they won’t call it war. Nevertheless, they love war and are grossly giddy about it, so it slips out in every humiliating and historically shameful presser

I knew this day would come. I just took my vitamins, but accidentally took a melatonin as well. Just fished it out and downed it before I knew what was happening. It's the middle of the day. Oh well. I'll catch you guys after my nap

My upstairs neighbor is playing American Idiot at high volume

This is actually an insane deal

The ruling class is desperate to subjugate and punish ordinary people. They’re just straight up asking Zohran to ban the right to assembly because of snowballs

Ever since Trump praised the Filet-O-Fish while speaking at the McDonald’s Impact Summit 2025, both Arby’s and Popeyes have dropped their own fish sandwiches. It’s like 2015 again but with fish instead of chicken

Discord age verification will still happen anyway, and that data will still be handed off to Palantir

How are we all doing on our New Years resolutions? I had two: 'eat more fiber' and 'use less toilet paper' -- I'm doing great with the first one but I'm really struggling with the second

If you pierce through the noise of engagement farmers on X, there are three types of user. First is the United States government. Next are the Nazis, who the US gov solely seeks approval from. Last is the esteemed punditry, who call X "the town square" in their self-important asswipe thinkpieces

me when my friends are over for movie night

Sorry, Canada. I wanted a little humiliation for us but it is true that evil never dies

Haven't been to the ocean in years. I miss the smell of the sea and the sound of the waves

We're proud to announce our newest streaming project, GDQ TV!!! 💙 GDQ TV is an always-on livestream featuring a collection of speedruns curated from our 15 year history Tune in to catch highlights from past GDQ events and cast your vote to decide what runs play next! Watch now at: twitch.tv/gdqtv

"This speedrunner beat Super Mario 64 with a guitar hero controller" "This speedrunner best Dark Souls with just their toes" Unimpressed. You know what I want to see them playing with? A smile.

New humiliation unlocked: the President of the United States is less accountable than literal British royalty

AI doesn’t make money but they’re going to kill personal computing and consumer electronics because they want to suck the world dry of components. Meanwhile, all they’ve done is contribute to the surveillance state and drive kids to suicide We must reject the world they’re desperate to force on us

Genuinely demonic. We must be honest about how unchecked capital demands no guardrails. Forget legal regulations - I'm also talking moral and ethical guardrails. A society that believes in ceaseless pursuit of profit believes in naught else

My favorite feature of Windows 11 is when Notepad stops responding Notepad.

Hot honey, anyone still eating this stuff? It pairs poorly with the greatest breakfast of all time (lox bagel) so I never cared for it

dawg

In no order, my indie gaming Mt Rushmore (aka, dudes who have never missed a day in their lives) is Edmund McMillen Derek Yu Lucas Pope Eric Barone

5 hours in, E33 is great. Sometimes there's like four or five different fonts on the screen at once. Still great

I'm frankly tired of having to tolerate open displays of cruelty for cruelty's sake - aided and abetted by our media - and I pray the pendulum continues to swing towards compassion for compassion's sake, and that we crush the institutions that led us here & chose this life for us

For a French game, E33 sure loves Dutch angles