He grabs his shoulders and shakes him “WE HAVE TO STOP THE CLANKERS FROM FUCKING UP MY PORN! ITS MADNESS I TELL YOU! ITS MADNESS!!! THEY’RE EVEN ADDING PAYWALLS! WHO FUCKING DOES THAT?!”

He goes up close to his face “I KNOW ITS GOT FLAWS… I LIKE IT.”

“You heard me. Our daily and beautiful pornography is in danger because of the clankers.” He slams his hands down “I PREFER CLANKER FREE, OVERLOADED JIGGLE PHYSICS, SFM/BLENDER ANIMATED GOONER MATERIAL MADE BY MAN!!!” He says with pure passion and anguish.

“ALL MY BESTIES!!!”

Headbanging to some shitty out of tune guitar strumming

“N o ✨

Pulls out an extremely out of tune guitar and plays “Oh won't you rizz up my gyatt Cuz fanum tax Kai cenat Baby gronk Fortnite skibidi toilet And make em mulchmax till the party ends Oh won't you rizz up my gyatt It's mog or livvy Let's turn this kai into a kai cenat And make a jump to 67 heaven”

Catches it “I would never let my favorite drink die on me like that… AND NO ONE CALLS ME A LOSER!”

𝘽𝙊𝙊! 𝘿𝙞𝙙 𝙄 𝙎𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙔𝙤𝙪?~

“I-… IM NOT OLD NOR A HAG! AND WHATS WRONG WITH FIREBALL?!?!”

“UH… NO THEY SHOULDNT”

// I wonder how I can do a serious rp with Eldric… It’d be like boy who cried wolf and everyone would question if he’s serious or not. “GODDAMNIT THEY FOUND ME.” “Of course they did.”

“Nah… They’re scum… Coming here to take your jerb… Even your forms of transportation… Content… And even worse… Porn.”

“They took my jerb… And not only that, but also they’re looking to destroy humanity and our way of life. With factory striders, hulks, devastators, tanks, war striders, vox engines, and god knows what horrid things they do to POWs…”

“Scum. That’s what they are.”

// imma make some garlic bread

“Ey, World Cup and everything. … GO ANTARTICA!”

ㅤ 𝐶𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑀𝑒𝑙 𝐶𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑦 𝐶𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝐴𝑛𝑦𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 #DispatchRP | #MVRP | #OCRP | #SFWRP | #SuperHeroRP

// Bro I just do first and think later

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃!!! #UNDERTALERP | #DELTARUNERP | #UTDRRP | #BSKYRP | #SFWRP

“Lies.”

Temp pinned!

Hands the reader a grenade

“Pookie~” Has a rose in his mouth

Introducing "Oh! Welcome to the Gold-Hand Ranch friend! We have all kinds of stuff here. Mainly berries and hot people. Hehe. Ah! Make yourself at home, and I'll get someone for you!" Dimitri Vlashkovich, the star eyed deer

// Ngl I kinda wanna make a “Agent Twilight” or “Loid Forger” RP account…

His eyes widened… And stay widened “OH REALLY NOW?!” He waves his hands around “I LIKE ANIME, SPECIFICALLY DUBS. GIVE THIS PERSON A KOREAN BODY SCRUB!” A horrible one. Would never wish it on anyone.

Right before they bonk him “I CAST IRON!” He then pulls out his frying pan and blocks the bonk, parrying it

“Bitch I used to rub that shit it my eyes or else I would get gut punched by my fraternity brothers.” He would continue until he rips the box into two

He looks around “… FUCK!” He begins biting the cardboard “YOU SON OF A BITCH”

Shouting at the top of his lungs with a hot pot of coffee “DOES ANYBODY WANT COFFEE?! WHO WANTS COFFEE! WHO WANTS COFFEE!? I JUST MADE A FRESH POT OF COFFEE! WHO WANTS COFFEE?!?!”

[TEMP PINNED

He looks up “… Listen I’m not really a throat guy… I’ve been choked by too many women to count… Without my consent to be more specific… And more violent than sexy”

“IM SICK OF GOONING ON YA! IM DONE WITH RIZZING SUPPLIES! DONT GOT THAT MUCH TO GYATT FOR LETS GO FOR ONE HELL OF A SKIBIDI!!!” Someone kill him

“Yes I can!” He then furiously slams his hand repeatedly on the bomb vest. Making loud banging noises.

// Guys I’ve been on an anime-a-thon and Spy x Family is like my FAV … But Eldric would disagree. Eldric would probably make Anya commit a crime or something idk

“Hmm… I don’t like you then” He throws the yo-yo at his head

“Yeup… My buds in uh… I think… I don’t know, made it. So enjoy!”

He pulls out a joint “Here, have a Pineapple Express” He offers

“You don’t agree with this. And it’s probably gonna be permanent. I’m gonna get blackout drunk here and probably smoke here… A lot.”

The beeping then stops “Hah! Gotcha! Bomb’s off! And now I’m gonna buy some cheap booze!”

“I got a place but you’re my roommate now! We’re now besties!” He wraps an arm around her and takes a selfie with her “Imma stock up your fridge- I mean OUR fridge with my stuff now!”

“No. You’re stuck with me. Plus, I can sleep on your couch and pay half the rent… You pay rent, right?”

“… You’re getting all close and personal again like you’re trying to do things to me… So I suggest you step away unless you’re trying to send signals… Also did you put like a pinch of those seasonings on the steak? Cause it tastes more like a tortilla than a steak.”

He grabbed the rings and then pressed a button on the vest, loud beeping getting faster and faster

“… No.” He bites the steak “I don’t feel like it so- Also this steak is bland as fuck…”

“Hah. Worth it. I raid your fridge and I also caused some pain! This is also my place now too. I’m now your roommate.”

He smirks and quickly rushes to the fridge and then comes back into the room “This is so fucking funny.”

“20 RINGS??!? GIVE EM OR ELSE I WILL ALLAHU AKBAR-“

“Soooo… How good’s your cooking?”