// hell no

"I want to create a spell called "SMALL PENIS SYNDROME" and basically it causes a huge dramatic spell casting show with me screaming 'I CAST, SMALL PENIS SYNDROME' The twist is that it doesn't affect anyone's penis, it just makes everyone think that one has one... Maybe I can make a variant that-

// Fucking awesome

"Psh. Amateurs." The wizard then threw his staff in the pond "Surely this will get more fish."

Eldric is summoning the devil, casually with a pentagram drawn out in the reader's room

The wizard stood there, his robes flying in the wind and it reveals that under his robes... Was a T-shirt and boxers... Which was a bit odd for a wizard but still "RELEASE MEEEEE!!!!!" The Wizard is smacked by the wind but instead of knocking into a tree, he's enduring it pretty well

He watches for a moment… Before eventually joining in on the spinning

With all the wind blowing and the threatening atmosphere around him. The wizard seems to be... Vibing... And even dancing "Awww yeah! I don't get no kick from champagne!!!! This is gonna be rad!!!" It's like he wants this

"Oh wow... I'm so scared of your girlfriend..." He says in an obvious sarcastic voice "Oh no... Don't EMP me... That so scary..." ... Yeup. Sarcastic.

Instead of the wizard being frightened, he instead smiled evilly and raised his quarterstaff before slamming it down on the ground. ... All of a sudden a fire chromatic orb appears and shoots at the king with full speed The wizard then flipped off the King again before moonwalking away

He has a mic out and with a spell, he plays a sick beat “Yo!” He looks as if he’s preparing to rap “I’m fucking bisexual” …what?

As he’s head banging and repeatedly screaming “FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!” He’s jumping as he’s headbanging. Waving his middle fingers in the air like a giant idiot. Despite whatever the king said, Eldric only had one thing to say… “FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!”

This wizard truly is being a nuisance. Not only is he flipping him off, but he begins head banging while flipping him off while singing “FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHAT YA TELL ME!” He continues and while he does so, the slight sound of metal rock music playing in the background is heard magically

“GAH!” Bonks with quarterstaff

// Fun Fact: Eldric listens to a lot of Rage Against The Machine

“Guys uh. Can I be really with y’all?” He sits down on a rock infront of the reader “I uh… I hate frogs”

“What? Can’t handle someone actively rebelling against you?… In style?!” He waves his quarterstaff around “I CAST…” He spins with two middle fingers “FUCK ALL OF YALL” He’s spinning there… … Just spinning… Flipping everyone off every 360 degrees.

// Probably the best sentence I’ve posted so far.

STELLA NIGHTSTAR, A 🧵.

“Not sure about that. I don’t like grey people”

“…” He raises his fist up “POWER TO THE PEOPLE!” Thunder strikes above him as he said it. Not hitting anything but enough to be intimidating “TAKE THE POWER BACK!”

“… You’re a king?” His face gets visibly angry, despite the fake beard and wig “… I hate authority.” His flipping off intensifies

"That sounds like something a war criminal would say! ... I see absolutely nothing wrong with this situation!"

".... Bitch don't test me, I'll switch your ears with your eyes!" he flipped the royal hedgehog off with both hands "It's a free country!"

Smacks the reader in the face "TOP IN THE MORNIN TO YA LADDIES MY NAME IS ELDRIC MAGNAVOX AND TODAY WE'RE PLAYING" Breathes a deep breath "HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY WHEEEEEEEELLLLSSSS!!!!" He points at a pair of wagon wheels which he drew smiley faces on

He puts on his sunglasses and crosses his arms “… Fuck yeah.” He watches and summons a bucket of popcorn (extra butter)

“THESE BACOBLINS. HAVE THE AU-DAC-I-TY. TO TELL ME. AND MY ACQUAINTANCES. AND A COUPLE OTHER PEOPLE THAT I KNOW. THAT W E . Should stop being so cruel. NOW!” He slams his hand down “N O W” He puts down a chest “I politely declined. And respectfully-” Opens the chest and reveals a slab-

“… I thought you were giving this shit out for free”

He pumps the shotgun, making the bolt go back a forth multiple times “… Shells. I need shells.”

He stares at the war machine “… Bro that’s fucking fire like hell yeah. … Destroy something already!”

“Give.”

“All they’ve done to me is just exist… So I’ve been experimenting spells on them”

“That makes me feel better about myself now!” He smiled “It’s the same logic as killing millions but it’s good for the environment!”

“I know, I know… I’m awesome.” He proudly nods

“… That sounds so fucking funny. Imma do that next time! It seems like you have a cruel way of thinking about ways to kill and torture Bokoblins… Is there a reason why?”

“Are we deadass? That trick was a good one!” He watches the lava performance “I’ll show you a better one ontop of that!” He waves his quarterstaff again “I CAST… NON-MAGIC MISSILE!” …Nothing happens for a brief moment before the wizard pulls out an RPG-7 which he aims and fires at the Bokoblin

“… Well Atleast they’re Bokoblins and not humans or whatever. I more focus on how fast they die with my spells… And how funny their reactions are… Not… Body… Reactions…”

“I do what I want! If I wanna mend their buttcracks, I will! If I wanna crush them with 1,000 gold pieces in copper pieces, then I will- wait you actually cooked them and ate them?”

“… Weak.” He waves his quarterstaff and above the bokoblin on fire appears a bottle of Fireball Whiskey that then pours directly onto them… Causing a bigger flame… Eldric then crosses his arms “Beat that.”

“Fine leather… Would it be wrong to make them into bacon?”

“Sounds like music to me.”

“Yo where all the Bokoblins at?! I wanna test more spells in them!”

"Illusions are the first of pleasures and the sweetest of drugs~" -#MVOC for RP -(N)SFW -Sensitive Topics (Read more Below) -Parody Account -Art by me -NO🔞MINORS🔞(DNF/DNI) -🔁&❤️are greatly appreciated.

“Yes yes! I know! I am the wizard!” He smiles, satisfied at the cruelty he has unleashed.

His eyes widened and he smirked “I could do one better!” He then waves his quarterstaff that looked to have a black hole floating from it “I CAST… TESTICULAR TORSION!!!” … Loud screams and squeals can be heard from a distance… Instantly regretting everything that has lead to this moment.

The servant to the Goddess of Power. Dinraal

He looks over “Yes… I do see that thing… For some reason I wanna kill it”

“Yeah uh… I wouldn’t go there either.” He then pat their back “… Want me to cast fireball to lighten up the mood?”

“…” He quickly shut up after that “… That’s less funny…”