Deadlocked clicked once I stopped treating it as a MOBA and started treating it as a romantic romcom with alot of depression

THE GOONLOCK SMP... THE GOONLOCK SMP IS REAAALLLL...

With Valentine's Day coming up, I am asking you all not to have sex in the bathroom. We had to drag out at least twelve couples last year. Please do not try and have a new highscore.

All Holiday decorations will be removed come this Friday. If you want pictures with the decorations and Christmas tree, please come before Friday. Thank you!

I hate Jacob Lash. Every time I see that guy the only thing I think about is how much I want to go out to dinner with him and express how much I hate him over a candle-lit dinner.

Happy New Year Everyone! Pardon the improper claim of such but I mayhaps was massively wasted but that is ok. Never too late to ring in the new year! Cheers to another wonderful year 🥂

I have recently learned of "breastraunts". Business is perfectly good but I would be interesting to adopt such customs for one day and see the results.

@infernusdeadlock.bsky.social where's the Santa hat..... It has been many days

Merry Christmas! We hope that everyone has a wonderful and jolly day! We hope you take this time to spend time with those closest to you.

Public Announcement: Jezebel's is not associated with the news outlet Jezebel. That said, please stop asking to deepthroat the bartenders. That post made by Jezebel News Outlet is not related to Jezebel's at all.

Pardon the lack of posts. Jezebel's has been preparing for our holiday celebration. We look forward to seeing everyone gather together. The most important part of the holiday season even if you don't celebrate is to be around people you care about.

@infernusdeadlock.bsky.social where's the Santa hat? The newscaster said you would have a Santa hat. Where is it Fern?

Please do not bring stripper poles into the bar please. And please do not try and install one in the bar.

🍾

This is the difference between us, The Lash doesn't listen when clankers are yappin. That includes computers and their silly little update warnings

🤔 Research is implying that hanging up suggestive pictures of men and women would attract more business. Seems interesting

Everyone gets a free rum on ice in memory of the voice tm.

They should add minigame working the bar at Jezebel's. You get to deal with all the fun stuff such as asshole patrons, the ones that drink their sorrows away, the sexual harassment ones and etc. I think it would be funny.

credit: www.reddit.com/r/DeadlockTh...

Pardon the lateness but I want to thank everyone for joining us this Thanksgiving! It was wonderful to see you all and I hope to see you again in the coming month. Please have a wonderful rest of your weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Even if you don't celebrate, I hope everyone has a wonderful day. We look forward to seeing you all be happy.

For the upcoming Thanksgiving, Jezebel's will be having a large gathering. All are welcome to join. We shall have several turkeys along with mash potatoes and all the works available. Even if you don't celebrate, you are welcomed still. Nothing's better then spending time with family and friends.

The voice in my head thinks this will be a...what the hell do the kids call it, a hit pot? No, uhh, a hit post. Yeah.

Build Fern with emotional stability. Please then find him a suitable wife to start a family with. If that doesn't work/or is impossible, just pour oil on him. He likes that for some reason.

Tomorrow Jezebel's will be holding an annual BTD6 marathon. Come connect with your fellow BTD6 players. You all are well behaved just please don't bring photocopied silly monkey porn. We kicked out the person that did that last year. Don't be that person.

In honor of update Thursday, we will be having a special happy hour from today from 11PM-2AM. Please come by and visit. And please do not have sexual relations in the bathroom. I don't want to have to put a ward on the doors for horny people.

In positive news, you get to say shut the fuck up. That's pretty cool

It's turning orange???

I leave an empty beer bottle on the counter for a minute and I come back to it being full of white. What is it. There are at least 3 possible answers and I don't want to find out which it is.

This is why we do not let blackout drunk customers take their glasses into the restrooms.

Dear patrons of Jezebel's; Please do not break billard tables. We understand you may have just gambled way your life's fortune but racking up debt is not going to help. If you do happen to break any of our property and do not have the funds to replace it, we will use you for manual labor:

Come visit Jezebel's! Happy hour is every hour*. We welcome you with a warm handshake. * Happy hour discounts only apply between 7 to 10 on Mondays and Thursdays.