Uber Eats: Imagine an $8 burrito Me: That sounds so awesome Uber Eats: Now imagine that it could be all yours for just $26

Holiday stress hits money, time, and family all at once. No wonder we take it out on each other. This week, we go beneath the gift-wrapping. New on The Joint Account. www.readthejointaccount.com/p/youre-not-...

Holiday gift ideas for him under $350 million: 1. F-22 Raptor

Take care of your health. Take care of your family. Take care of your money. The rest will take care of itself.

All I am saying is, what better time to have @dougboneparth.bsky.social and I share our thoughts (in print, online, in studio!) on HOW TO NOT RUIN THE HOLIDAYS BY FIGHTING WITH YOUR SPOUSE ABOUT MONEY??? I’m serious. Use us: domoneytogether[at]gmail[dot]com.

This is a great weekend to clean out the shed, according to my wife and other people in my family who won’t be cleaning out the shed.

Some people are after the money. Some people are after the freedom that comes with money. Two different goals. Know the difference.

“How’d we get so rich, mom?” “Your dad invested in AI companies that just kept investing in each other.”

If Nvidia doesn’t beat earnings expectations today the earth will explode.

This week, we talk about the privilege of a full fridge and the squeeze families feel at the grocery store. Heather shares practical ways to waste less, use what you have, and make choices that help your budget and your sanity. New on The Joint Account. www.readthejointaccount.com/p/full-fridge

Don’t view it as the Dow losing 567 points. View it as the Dow having 46,022 points left. Follow me for more positivity!

50-year mortgages. 15-year auto loans. It’s almost as if they don’t want you owning anything.

This is a classic rotation out of stocks and into poverty.

On days like today, I’m glad I’m diversified across stocks, gold and bitcoin because it allows me to lose money in three totally different ways.

Today is my birthday. Do me a favor and take a moment to let the people in your life know you love them. Also, buy my book. Happy Halloween!

Wife: Can you make us go viral for our book launch tomorrow? Me: Sure. Wife: Money Together. That’s the book. Me: Got it. www.newsweek.com/parents-67-m...

I see we’re doing this whole “paying off a low rate mortgage” debate again. The real answer is that it’s not your money or life. Focus on yourself. If someone made their life better by paying off their debt, that’s cool.

Our kids hate our Halloween costume.

Money “experts” attacking advisors for charging a 1% fee is lazy, and it usually highlights that person’s insecurity around their own business model or approach to finance. Not to mention it’s tacky. Good advisors know the value they bring. Find something else to talk about.

A relationship doesn’t need to end for you to learn from it. The strongest ones are born from self-awareness and the value of learning about your partner’s lived experiences. Remember, your story is your story. New on The Joint Account. www.readthejointaccount.com/p/your-story

People who say stuff like this are some of the most miserable people on Earth.

Sundays are fantastic. A whole day dedicated to regretting the past and worrying about the future.

In these dark times of our program, I'd really like to build a Florida Football audience. Where are my Gator fans?

She's my little soda pop. I've also come to realize that most parents know the songs, but have never watched the actual movie. Sad. At least I will gain the approval of the children on Halloween.

What are we going with here?

I’m going to say something a lot of you on here are not willing to say. I wish you and your family the absolute best. I hope you are safe and find happiness in this life.

So what if the market is having a bad day because some regional banks gave out bad loans? It’s not like that type of behavior can spread to larger banks or anything.

Heather wrote an absolute gem for CNBC Make It. Unfortunately, she left out forgetting to buy the dip. www-cnbc-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.cnbc...

me at 8am: *puts sheets in wash* me at 10pm: oh no.

Trump to put the following tariffs in place: Mercury - 15% Venus - 15% Earth - 20% Mars - 20% Jupiter - 25% Saturn - 25% Uranus - 30% Neptune - 30% Pluto - 50%

People are losing their minds for Labubus, the latest collectible craze out of Japan. A life sized version went for $170,000 at auction! This week, Heather explains why we go after these “dumb” fleeting trends. New on The Joint Account. www.readthejointaccount.com/p/labubus

We wrote a book on money and relationships. Money Together Out October 28th.

BREAKING: Trump blames President Hoover for stock market ‘overhang’.

We’re in a risk-on season of life. But even now, we’re asking: what could we live without? And what can’t we imagine letting go? Before you’re forced to choose, it helps to know. New on The Joint Account. www.readthejointaccount.com/p/five-thing...

Amazon: Tariffs are making things more expensive. White House: No they aren’t. Amazon: *shows prices with tariffs* White House: This is a hostile and political act!

So, like what’s going to happen first? A massive trade announcement that sends markets ripping, or reports of empty store shelves that send them lower? Because I feel like that’s what we’re all waiting for.

There are so many things to comment on, but this one drives me crazy. In business and life, how you speak to someone matters. Calling people names and talking down is the easiest way to signal you’re an ineffective leader. And justifying it signals something far worse.

So the Art of the Deal is letting every country on earth know that if they raise interest rates by dumping US Treasuries, we will fold.

We finally won. We beat ourselves.

My Wife: Did we lose the house? Me: BE COOL!

I’m starting to think this trade war was a bad idea.

Social media is my coping mechanism. I tell silly jokes and post memes to deal with the uncertainty of the markets and life. My wife, is different. I’m sure you are, too. A must read. New on The Joint Account. www.readthejointaccount.com/p/partner-cope

Who did this?

I have announced the following tariffs: Wife: 50% Kid 1: 30% Kid 2: 25% Mother-in-law: 100% Dog: 0%

Be careful of money “experts” who try to convince you that their way of doing things is the best way. You’re probably just being sold something. Most decisions around money are completely subjective. Do what works for you and plan accordingly.

That was a brutal recession. Congrats to everyone who made it through.

And on the seventh day, God tariffed Adam and Eve 25%.

The haters said a trade war would tank the market. They were correct. Honesty, great call by the haters.

You wouldn’t believe how many guys I know who struggle to get their wives to the table to talk about money. It’s a thing. Trust me. This week I wrote about what you can do when nothing seems to be working. New on The Joint Account. www.readthejointaccount.com/p/wife-talk-...

My portfolio’s pronouns are was/were.