you're laughing. they flayed baby yoda and you're laughing?

what is a man? a miserable little pile of penis.

I was trying to sleep, but then I remembered something embarrassing from 2008

not tonight babe, i forgot to shave my glans

Death is the Shit ov Life

pulled apart like cheese to autopsy's severed survival

they should make a vape that tastes like your homie's ballsack

(slamming my half-eaten footlong on the subway counter) I said I wanted EXTRA yoga mat

me: "hey mcdonalds, why is it $15 for your cartoon burger?" mcdonalds: "here is the diet coke you ordered. we poured milk in it."

in 2007, soulja boy asked me to watch him crank it. being only 13 at the time, i politely declined.

slotting your frenulum in his tooth gap

elder holes online

jack is dead, my friend. you can call me... stroker. and as you can see, i'm a lot fappier.

one of these days they gotta give the xenomorph a well-defined glans on the back of its head like the og giger art

ancient spirits of porno, transform this decayed form into cumm-ra the ever-gooning

hi fox remember me i'm your dad. you can tell. because of the shades.

stunned by how short-lived most AI-generated nostalgiaslop is. when's the last time you saw the hairy-chested guy smoking in the mcdonald's?

Gay Videos on the Internet

there are two types of video games: fungus good (super mario), and fungus bad (resident evil 7)

(blue oyster cult) my nards are black and my tip has mold disease inflamed my cock and balls

i invented sonic’s two-tailed little friend

idgaf about greta van fleet but it's funny seeing metalheads fry them for jacking zeppelin's shit as if said metalheads aren't simultaneously glazing the 289th osdm revival record once again repackaging left hand path for a new generation.

"the world you grew up in no longer exists..." yeah but kids still wear those light-up sneakers and invader zim swag, so it's not all bad.

post-acquisition tim hortons got the burger king banishing the best classic timbits in favour of some esoteric nonsense no one gives af about. "ooh this one has a venetian cream and looks like a dog turd rolled around in sand" fuck you. where's my cherry bit

the super meet n fuck galaxy movie

winnipeggers when winter is finally over but knowing that ice is coming back in a little over four months:

corporate announcement: "we have installed a mandatory camera in your bathroom. it uploads your hole pics to our server. to prevent child abuse." top comment: "that seems excessive." the inevitable replies: "oh yeah? you like to diddle kids? you fucking chomo?"

'Kirby's Dreamland' was released on the Game Boy 34 years ago today in Japan.

yeah man what that black & white movie totally needed was an AI colourization where it can't even decide frame to frame the hue of anyone's clothes so they start cycling through them like invincible mario.

The Quiet Loneliness of Super Noah's Ark 3D

shoot for the poop even if you piss you'll land among the sharts

libertarian AVGN: "What's next, requiring a license to make Nintoast in your own damn Nintoaster?"

(mario teaches typing head): oh, nice cock you got here. can I have it???

I must've missed the announcement back in December because I had no idea Undeath are playing here on Monday and I can't go????????

evil andre 3000: "what's crueler than being cruel?"

when my dad was in his 30s, he had a few t-shirts which were maybe 10-15 years old and worn thin with holes like swiss cheese. now I'm in my 30s with some of my own even older than that, and they are still 98% intact. wtf was dad doing to those shirts???

I don't wanna say too much about the new ATLA movie, but it's good. I love what they've done with Aang's character. I wish I could've seen it in the theatre, and I hope it gets a home video release.

rewatched shit from a butt for the first time in more than ten years boxd.it/dZOC3F

gas station dick pills got me like david lee roth. i get up and nothing gets me down.

i know someone who, for whatever reason, writes AM and PM on 24-hour time, and i don't have the heart to correct them because i wouldn't even know where to begin.

sorry but as someone who started watching northernlion almost 15 years ago, it's easy to forget how he's like actually famous now and has developed a particular type of e-celeb brain

the initial clip leak was one thing, but the fact the whole ATLA movie is out there now is so annoying. shyamalan movie, netflix, and now this. it's embarrassing to be a fan sometimes bc this shit feels like a joke.

cuz i'm a cocksucker yes i am

northernlion cruise but all the guests are locked in a single room and forced to watch the entirety of let's hate virtual bart on loop

avatar aang, please hold me in your large arms

guy on Grindr with a name ostensibly reading "pic to chat" but he's condensed it to a single word so I just assumed he was a Nintendo DS fan

men in their 30s always talking about "wife material" or "gonna wife her up" — WHAT are you doing? you should be frotting with your bros.

in 2008, the peak of humour was referencing the "dirty sanchez" at any opportune moment.