yeah it’s honestly extremely depressing that i’ve incalculably limited my career as a fiction author by not wanting to produce short videos about my life

i am once again posting that it is still also a love story

this episode explains so much about my last therapist, damn. one downside of taking this book for gospel if you are a therapist is basically blaming your patient for not being in touch with her body when she, random example, suddenly develops a crippling autoimmune disease

who would play at the opening of your presidential library? i would go national anthem by patti lupone, followed by *nsync reunion, then the legally mandatory james taylor appearance, close it out with usher

two realities

people think that because i like airplanes i also like helicopters. wrong. i couldn’t give a fuck about helicopters

POV you are trying to watch a baseball game at your parents house

great game for me, a lifelong dodgers fan

breaking news: wigle whiskey influencer sarah james is drinking a bourbon against medical advice

lol at the google AI being like “girl you’ll be fine”

i’m at the aquarium and frankly it is repulsive. will be minding my own business re: fish going forward

went on a ghost tour of chicago last night and the guide said “there was actually a massacre in chicago today on the corner of clark and addison”

being around your aging parents is truly humbling. i just saw my father watching reels in the facebook app

reporting from chicago: the midwest has reached near total saturation of butter yellow

was rushing to make the shuttle so didn’t grab a pic but they sell @metrolosangeles.bsky.social merch at the LAX/metro center vend hub now

saw a comment that said “ru paul used AI to edit the photos in one season of drag race and that’s all the evidence i need he used AI in his new movie too” and like okay, so. no evidence

olivia dean is wasted in an era when starbucks doesn’t sell CDs anymore

i've been cleaning my apartment so i haven't really been paying attention but my impression is this pirates game has been on for approximately five hours, is that correct?

you know the candidate statement is gonna be a doozy when the voter guide hits you with the preemptive “this does not represent the secretary of state’s office”

is there a los angeles voter guide put together by like. a normal person

wild that the bicycle wasn’t invented until like 1810 or whatever. feels like we should have locked that one down earlier

i find it so depressing how spencer pratt's whole campaign is about how awful los angeles is. i love this city. it's beautiful, diverse, creative, inspiring, artistic, kind. of course it could improve but like... shouldn't the person leading those improvements actually like the city

sorry everyone that was my fault. i got home from work and turned the game on

so many people want to define, like, universal dating rules instead of just being like “i don’t like this”

listen i agree with the overall conclusion but not sure this is the example i would have used

loaf check

i love watching the pirates win almost as much as i love to watch the cubs lose

yeah of course i want to be in a fucking bubble. honestly even the average bubble is too big. my ideal relationship with social media is i tap out my little thoughts and no one ever sees or interacts with them ever

the other thing i can’t get over about that miller lite article is that craft beer as like the choice hobby of urban hipsters feels like a take from 2014. millennials who were into it don’t drink as much anymore and gen z never got into it! so who are you defending miller lite to!

no one can just like something anymore, this is exhausting

the nice thing about having severe joint mobility issues is i always have something to talk about with my friends’ moms

what is it about craft beer in particular that makes people believe that anyone who likes it is lying

greg brown has not watched the pitt

The Pitt being a part of "Yinzerpalooza" is hilarious to me. like if they made "The Americans" the official TV show of the 4th of July

Just Pirates Things™️

those word art credits get me hyped every time !!!!

there's no median sneakers anymore. they're either so ridiculously padded or like walking on cardboard. spiritually it's either hokas or converse. i would like some MEDIUM PADDED, REGULAR SNEAKERS. go ahead and shout "ok boomer" at me i'm not afraid i know i am right

girl i went to high school with trying to be a Raleigh, North Carolina influencer

have seen a concerning rise in the number of organic cotton yoga pants in class the last few weeks. this trend is spreading faster than the yeast infection everyone is gonna get from wearing organic cotton yoga pants

i do think a lot of return to work was driven by this “if i have to be here, so should everyone else!” mentality which is wild coming from the nobody ever said life was fair crowd

i woke her

whole timeline full of people bragging their golden retriever knows fifteen words meanwhile my cat knows enough english to reasonably manage a starbucks in a mid-size city

"girl i went to high school with trying to be a Raleigh, North Carolina influencer" is a perfect captiion for literally any photo btw

just took a sip of a little 3:40pm coffee and my heart went bitch you better be joking

last night my neighbor saw me sitting on the stoop smoking weed and petting the feral cat and she asked me if i had any fun plans for that night and i had to be like, this is my fun plan

millennial marketing team vs millennial marketing team trying to sound like gen z marketing team