also don't let the "aerial footage by goodyear" tag fool you. they're flying a drone in the parking lot there is NO blimp

the apple tv "shot on an iphone" shots look like garbage from a butt

my building sent an email saying "if you leave bulky items next to the dumpster, the property owners may be charged extra for removal" and like sorry is that supposed to convince me NOT to do that

i mean none of those things make it not a love story though

mother's day gift guides are horrible, no my mom doesn't want the ugliest bracelet i've ever seen or a copy of the worst book i've ever read

my dad just emailed me an instagram reel he thought was funny

hi @metrolosangeles.bsky.social love the new screen layout. civic center stop isn’t showing D line though. please fix!

fuck greg brown is doing propaganda for the manager. that means the season is over folks. pirates officially suck again

me: that was a bad chronic illness day. let me put on the baseball game so i can forget about all diseases the commercials: lol fuck you

as with most things, the correct amount to do x thing is the amount i do it, no more and no less

wait that stolen base rules i do need to go to valvoline

the belief that the art you engage with should learn from you and not the other way around will be the death of us

snatching defeat from the jaws of victory over here

jesus christ greg couldn’t even finish that sentence before he ruined it

there’s drama between the cohosts of my favorite LAX livestream channel and i have literally no one to talk about it with

last chance! purchase my books so i can quit my job

for indie bookstore day, @bookshop.org is offering free shipping all weekend! if you have ever wanted to buy one of my historical mysteries but you draw the line at paying $1.99 to have it sent to your house, now is your chance: bookshop.org/lists/my-boo...

cone cone cone cone

ordered a turmeric latte with coconut milk and didn’t realize until i took a sip i was drinking a delicious marinade for chicken thighs

my mom told me the draft was the biggest event to happen in pittsburgh ever and i said "what about the g20?" and she had to be like sarah, the g20 doesn't have fans

here’s my dad’s review of the nfl draft: “they wanted twenty-five bucks for a can of stella!” ok i’m concerned you didn’t read that in a yinzer accent so try again as it’s necessary for the full effect: “they wanted twenty-five bucks for a can of stella!”

also extremely bleak to have the value of curiosity to an artist phrased as "consume things that help you write better content"

how is there no traffic cone emoji

(after i’ve been more unpleasant than any human being should even be able to be) sorry im too INTELLIGENT BEAUTIFUL and WITTY for you

holy shit just realized buildings are all giant shapes

when a pair of pants i don’t own don’t fit it is no big deal, when a pair of pants i do own don’t fit it is something to ruminate over for months

leaving my government job email open on my laptop so everyone else at blue bottle knows i’m not working on a screenplay

(spreading thc balm over my arthritis) happy 420 😎🌳💨

why are vapes so fat these days? how am i supposed to pretend i'm in a humphrey bogart movie while smoking out of an external hard drive?

"i'll take it right in the face, i don't care" - joe block

why travel with only two pairs of underwear when you can pack ten pairs of underwear that are hanging on by a thread and discard them one by one in hotel rooms across europe, creating space in your suitcase for two commemorative king charles coronation tea towels

youtube is always pushing youtube music on me but the only music i have ever listened to on youtube is episodes of the kraft music hall from 1949

thank god they are making another top gun movie, my dad needs something new to watch on airplanes

HOIST THE CONE

CONES

just saw an ad for peacock that showed clips of wicked back to back with clips from the office and i stg the lighting was pretty much identical

shouldn't be allowed to wear these uniforms with all white shoes

just spent a stupid long amount of time trying to figure out what PBH stood for

ok but wrap it up i gotta go to nordstroms

oh thank god this website is back. i was just on twitter and i saw an ad for "temu food"

aw that's so nice, the ashcrafts will always been able to say they did their gender reveal at pnc park in front of 30, maybe even 40, people

are we back

jesus christ he's like if george clooney and pedro pascal had a child what the fuck

love when chase sends me an email like "we have a balance transfer offer for you, sarah" bitch what balance!!

imagine telling someone from 1927 that humanity would go to the moon someday. they’d think you’re nuts. “why would we go to the moon? that place is full of cobwebs”