sometimes i wish i could be a milk guy so i could have cereal

finally recovered my bluesky account after like a week :) i wasn’t hacked i just forgot my password:)

i was gonna clean my apartment tonight but then i had a therapy session where we talked about my grandpa dying and how im a burden to everyone i love so instead i took a walk bought a joint and put on neverafter and now i’m gonna have to clean in the morning in order to avoid :) further Burdening :)

me in like september, probably, texting all of my friends “my bad dude i didn’t mean to disappear for several months i was just so focused on distracting myself from The Horrors that i became consumed by the need for constant distraction and straight up disconnected from my life and brain”

i’ve got hundreds of unread messages right now and i know at some point i’ll claw myself out of the pit of self loathing and existential despair and have to text like 20 different people and hope they believe me when i say sorry it wasn’t personal i just couldn’t think abt my own humanity for a bit

sitting in bed trying to get up for work and just crying bc i’m so fucking fried. i’m tired of this

if i eat goldfish, dry rice crispies cereal, and chocolate chips together, does that count as trail mix? can i justifiably call that trail mix

realized while shaving my head for the first time that i did make this very big choice without mentioning it to my therapist and i just know what face she’s gonna make when she sees me in session tomorrow and i’ll have to be like benet i promise ive been thinking abt it for a year it’s not a crisis

idk why it feels like so many of the romance novels i’ve picked up recently have had the most self loathing pathetic girlfailure main characters who just kind of moan about things and don’t take any action to improve their life but it’s so hard to read and i’m so tired of seeing it

it’s been months and i still hate how fuckin big this dumb fucking phone is i should be able to hold my phone in one hand and type my thumb should be able to reach the q on the keyboard but instead i have a cumbersomely enormous pocket computer that is too big to comfortably type on. sickening!

i am runnin on empty babeyyy

IF YOU BROKE UP WITH ME LESS THAN TWENTY FOUR HOURS AGO YOU DO NOT GET TO CASUALLY TEXT ME ABOUT LORD OF THE RINGS THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS

i love when my married friend puts me in a groupchat with her and her husband. i love when she says i need to send this meme to the love of my life and this one guy i met at work a year ago. happy to be here. thanks for including me

thinking abt the fact that zach shallcross (season 27) is only the second US bachelor lead ever to marry their final pick, rendering the number of bachelors married to their winners now equal to the number of bachelors married to their runners up

slay

the actual worst part of living in new jersey is njtransit. mnr i miss you

had a ptsd flashback while at a basement show with the woman i’m dating and her childhood best friend who i was meeting for the very first time. freaked the fuck out and had to go home. mortifying. terrible. we both cried on our date today. at two separate points for separate reasons. kill me

i’m foaming at the mouth about cloudward, ho and i don’t know anyone else who’s watching it i’m losing my MIND

i m f r e a k i n g o u t

i genuinely love my job but every single day that i have to do it i have to battle to amass and then utilize the willpower and momentum to get ready and leave the house for it lmao because it is Job and i don’t want to go to Job i want to Have Fun

step one: piss step two: shot step three: dance

we are now alternating between the AHHHs and OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDD

i am sitting outside in the sun while emily and khaos watch dr who and i just heard screaming start from inside that was so loud and long that i thought some kind of alarm was going off. emily has been screaming for over 60 seconds. not even words. just AHHHH. AHHHHHHHH. AH!!!!!

i’m literally never normal on the train idk what my problem is. i walked onto the train today with a king cone and after i finished it i put lotion on my legs. i’m not being disruptive, no one is sitting next to me, but i am just an adult alone eating a giant ice cream cone and then applying lotion

the internet is so weird. i just got rly excited because this (relatively small) creator (who is famous to Me) liked two of my comments on tiktok but we actively have multiple mutual friends. i feel like i’ve had a celebrity interaction with a friend of a friend

she read both the books so fast and told me she thought they were fun and she sees why people enjoy the genre and she thinks i did a good job picking ones she would like and she’d be interested in taking more recommendations for similar books i’m 😭😭😭😭😭 i’m on top of the world bitch

i loaned my friend two books by one of my favorite authors and it’s a genre she has historically been averse to and i am so nervous for her final review it’s the first time we’ve exchanged book recommendations i don’t want her to lose all trust in my taste forever if this just isn’t her vibe

cis people love, when you tell them about an instance in which people failed to use they/them pronouns for you, to use it as an opportunity to really let you know that they/them is their default; they use they/them for everyone until they learn otherwise. they love to let you know.

spotify used to let you turn on a setting where it would never play specific music for you ever again. it’s how i avoided ever having to suffer through a red hot chili peppers song during my big 90s alt rock phase. where did that function go?? i can’t figure out how to do it anymore. i miss her

i have PLIGHT

ever since peach posted it the only song i have wanted to listen to is boot scoot butch but all we have is the demo clip from her tiktok so i am just. listening to that on repeat. because it is the only audio my brain will accept rn. boot scoot butch.

looking at my phone notifications and deciding. no ❤️

Me: I’ve never seen the bachelorette My best friend Lex (that I love deeply): oh my god khaos so many grown men cry you would love it

every tuesday i finish therapy and go “oh my god i just want to call out of work” and then realize my shift starts in an hour and i have to help close the office on tuesdays so i never caaaaan

having therapy on a workday is crazy. wdym i just spent 45 minutes sobbing about my relationship with my parents and now it’s time to put on a button down and get on the bus

i tried a new anxiety med today and i learned that A) it works B) it makes me chatty. i took one this morning before work and then recorded a voice memo podcast for the groupchat. took another one after work and i can’t stop posting. i’ve got shit to say. what a weird effect for a med to have

YES i’m being BORING on here it’s my account and that’s my right!!!! i yap for my entertainment and mine alone!!!

listen. listen. i know there are many incredible talented funny romance authors who write wonderful books and i know emily henry gets an undue amount of attention and i feel weirdly guilty contributing to that but im rereading book lovers and it’s just so fucking good. it’s so good!! i laugh so much

thank god i’m moving because oh my god am i tired of my upstairs neighbors playing? hopscotch??? or maybe basketball?? between 11 and 12 every night

people make fun of me for taking screenshots of fucking everything, for never deleting my screenshots, for having thousands upon thousands of screenshots, but how else would i ensure that important phone-based moments in my life are recorded and preserved. how else would i still have gems like this

what’s up with schools making kids learn the recorder. who decided that was the instrument every child across america needed to practice

went to six flags today for the first time since i was like 14. holy shit. did you guys all know that six flags rules? i can’t believe i didn’t know

the point at which “seeing someone” graduates to “dating someone” is when you update their contact in your phone to their real first and last name so their surname in your phone is longer the dating app or bar where you met them

begging everyone to Stop Talking To Me. think you need to send me a text? think again. i have talked to too many people too many times im taking a BREAK

i hate mulch season. too stinky, everywhere

my coworkers aren’t allowed to know what my skin looks like

the veronicas and veruca salt are the same band to me. idk who sings untouched. idk who sings seether. it’s one of em!

the girl i’m seeing showed up to our third date with a handmade sea glass necklace she literally metalsmithed for me??? i love being a lesbian. i am so fortunate to be gay

it’s actually my enrichment time when i lay on the couch and listen to dimension 20 while i play color sorting games on my phone for most of my evening ok i’m having autism hours

went on a nice walk to relax after work and enjoy the nice weather and now i’m thinking abt how my college yearbook quote was “move, i’m gay” bc i’ve passed every single person who’s been ahead of me. like im supposed to be chilling rn but i can’t not speed walk