I have DO MANY: 1. The lowest tech one is the literal square of floppy rubber my mum gave me that helps open jars. That thing is MAGIC. 2. The cherry pitter that is basically an aggressive hole punch & shoves the seed out the other side, leaving a hole thorough the centre of the cherry.

A couple of Star Wars memes I made for fun

A decision has been made 😂

I brushed an unholy amount of hair off Pomette to the point that it feels like a miracle that she has any hair left on her body (hair was still coming off her, I just gave up). And then I vacuumed up roughly the same amount again off the floors of my house.

BTW I don’t remember learning about what PROMPTED the Surrealist movement when I was studying it in design college; I learned that part on Twitter 😂

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and enough art supplies to take my mind off them for a damn minute. 🩷

PREFACE: I just saw a video on FB discussing a Reddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) post—found the post itself! Here is a screenshot with alt text for ease of reading. We can discuss the AITA, but it gave me an idea (will thread in replies to this) +

Pomette trying to leave my lap, getting stuck halfway and just giving up is a whole mood 😂

My wonderful triplet teenagers made me this lovely treat ALL by themselves for Mother’s Day! It is “cherry-misu”: like tiramisu, but they soaked the biscuits in Dr Pepper instead of coffee (because they know I hate coffee flavour), and added frozen cherries (because they know I like cherries).

A little boy wielding a giant foam sword in Big W just got VERY cross with me: Me: “Ooh be careful with that big weapon!” Boy: “It’s NOT a weapon, it’s a sword!” Later at the self checkout I hear behind me “Mummy, they said my sword was a WEAPON 😠”

“TIL”?!?! The fact that someone didn’t know this because they were too young to have been alive when it happened but they’re old enough to post on Tumblr about it hurts me emotionally.

Literally everything I hear about cruises confirms my stance on cruises: not even once. *Dinner cruises are okay, just nothing overnight or longer.

Niche memes for Australians who are starting to have to make a noise when they get up out of an armchair #grugposting

Someone tell me why I can get full-sugar chocolate bars and all manner of deep-fried shit at the hospital cafeteria but there’s not a non-diet soft drink to be had for love nor money?!

thank u bad bunny

For Cinco de Mayo, the only meme I’ve ever made in Spanish 😂

Just had an experience that is spinning me out. I could have SWORN it was The PORTRAIT of Dorian Gray, not The PICTURE of Dorian Gray—I even googled it and nope! It is the Picture, I just remembered wrong. +

Dogs when the job absolutely does not require a dog

THIS IS JUST TO SAY I have poorly edited the photo of my dog who has never even eaten pizza and which you will probably think is petty of me Forgive me it was easy so aligned with the point of all human endeavour and so relatively environmentally friendly

Do I know anyone who plays / has played DOOM 2016? I have a question about icons in the graphics, so you might have to have played it a bit and also remember stuff 😂

Oh nothing, just tearing up thinking about Sir David Attenborough, whose 100th birthday is in about a week (May 8th). What a tireless force for good that man has been, since long before I was born. It has been a privilege to walk the earth at the same time as him.

—Pomette, standing at the top of the garden steps

Oh to be a little dog receiving scritches in the autumn sunshine

“Armadillos are native to the Americas, not the Mediterranean! This movie is so unrealistic.” —Me watching Wonder Woman (2017)

My gourmet corn dog food truck business idea. It would be called Updog, of course. If I could afford to lose money on it that means I could afford an accountant and a chef because I’m horrible at business and cooking 😂

On a lighter note:

This is what I was taught about war as a child at ANZAC Day ceremonies: war is hell, and should never be entered into lightly. Lest we forget *those we lost, what they endured, the price that was paid*. [4th from left is my grandfather in this photo of his squadron] +

These people on 9-1-1 Nashville are MASSAGING a NICU BABY & I’m like yelling at the TV bc when my triplets were in the NICU they told us not to do that!! It’s not even their baby!

It turns out my children love watching Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares; currently we are watching the first episode of Season 3 (which premiered the year before they were born 😂) & he has just said prawns in a chilli/chocolate sauce is a crazy idea as if mole sauce doesn’t exist ?!

“in no hostility… but desiring to shine before his friends” is SUCH a vivid description of a very recognisable human mood! (The quoted passage appears to be legit, Sir Ronald Storrs from “Orientations” (😬), the 1937 autobiography of Sir Ronald Storrs.)

I am a mother of 15yo triplets & I need emotional support memes—please send your funniest / favouritest posthaste

Unless it’s retconning the Cap/Peggy romance to include explicit Cap/Bucky sex scenes, why would anyone bother 😂

I’d forgotten that the original post said the person was going to write this character, and I was thinking about writing my own version, but then when I was googling to find the original post to read it again, I found out Spider-Ma’am is *canon* 😂

I *may* have stolen the big rock for the yabby 🦞 from a neighbour’s sidewalk drain but it will be returned to whence it came 😂 (I just wanted to do the art)

Someone on FB posted this for 420 😂 🐨 🍃

POV: you did a poo so horrible Mum decided to hose it off in the bathtub & ended up giving you a full bath since you were in there already. ☹️☹️☹️

Saw a bird I'd never seen before yesterday, couldn't get a photo so went inside & did a sketch immediately before I forgot what I'd seen, submitted it to my Aussie native birds group on FB & voilá! Social media *can* be good, even in these trying times.

Y’all I have NEVER ONCE in my ENTIRE life made an omelette this successfully. It is fully cooked and completely held together in a perfect half circle shape (hampered only by my choice of plate/bowl hybrid instead of normal dinner plate lol). Inside: bacon, baby spinach, and shredded tasty cheese.

I made this mini copy of my own pasta container using a mini Tic-Tacs container with the label removed, mini Perler beads for the pasta, and a cut-up black sticker and fine-point paint marker for the label.

🤔

The soundtrack: I’m So Hood by DJ Khaled (feat. Plies, Rick Ross, T-Pain & Trick Daddy) The activity: Taking my fluffy Frenchie to the vet to get her anal glands expressed

If I knocked my red car door into the green car, and the driver was colourblind, would they even know? 🤔🤔🤔🤯🤯🤯

You ever find something funny and then try to figure out who to tell based on who would require the least amount of explanation? This isn’t the thing that made me think of this, but eg the Venn diagram of people who’ve watched Keeping Up Appearances & know who Drake is can’t have much overlap 😂:

First of all, it isn’t unread because I’m looking at it right now, and second of all only my hatred of AI (with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns) stops me from indulging my curiosity as to how it could POSSIBLY summarise that message

This comment I just saw about a “writer” getting genAI to generate his books for him (writer in scare quotes because if he’s not writing his own work any more he is no longer a writer imo) is so bleak but so true: That way he can keep writing after he's dead. Why even wait. Why even live

You ever be driving behind someone for ages and watch them make the same decisions you would make if you were them? I call them my driving friends 😂

I’ve literally read Fahrenheit 451; I’m embarrassed I didn’t remember that part 🙁 but to be fair I read it about 25-30 years ago so I only remember the broad strokes. It’s a bit depressing that out of all the sci-fi futures we could’ve had we’ve ended up with one that most resembles this & 1984.

I thought of it and I had to make it 😂 (The joke doesn’t work as well if you pronounce gozleme correctly, with 3 syllables, but however)

Respectfully, I think a password-cracking time of 1.5 billion years is actually secure enough.