I can spend all day thinking of Madatobi and spew blurbs but to connect them?? Think of a summary? A title?? Fuck off

*Incoherent screaming*

Excitement gone- now there is only rage

Feeling excited again

Was excited to workout but then my period came and slapped that motivation right out of me 😩

Tobirama!! #tobirama #senjutobirama

The hold cheese with crackers and grapes has over me would invent a new type of worship should anyone be brave enough to behold it

Sometimes I feel like I'm just wasting my time. And then I look back at where I was not even 3 years ago and I get hopeful again despite the daunting future

Two people called me cute yesterday. Today someone else called me cute. What is happening

There is nothing more satisfying to me than taking off my shirt and bra and just lounging in bed in my boxers with my tits out

I should get a massage someday

Good morning world I drank my water, took my vitamins and brushed my teeth and did my skin care routine- we are truly living

Would be so nice if my mother could learn how to properly regulate her emotions rather than immediately putting me down and blaming me ✨️

*Incoherent scream*

Week 3 of Nel sticking to a skin care routine I am mighty ✨️

‼️OPEN COMMS FOR EMERGENCY COMPUTER REPAIRS‼️ The CPU fan and two other fans inside of my desktop have failed/are actively failing so I'm opening Pay What You Want Portraits on my Ko-fi, starting at $10 Reposts are appreciated 😓 ko-fi.com/maphel/commi...

𝟎𝟐𝟏𝟗 所有世界的千手扉間生日快樂 ᴛᴏʙɪʀᴀᴍᴀ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ⚠ 私設AU / 柱扉向 #千手扉間生誕祭2026 #千手扉間生誕祭

Looking up tattoo shops

What I wouldn't give for a nap right now

I should go on this date- but I feel hesitant to do so. I cant quite explain it

Thought about my future and (deep sigh)

Saw my new doctor today- she was very nice and it immediately put me on edge

Begrudgingly drinking my water and hissing anytime my sister suggests a flavor packet for it

Picked up a bunch of night shift shifts and have been aggressively saving up for fun times and pay down debt- i hate this lmao

Started each morning with lemon water and chia seeds and I hate it but I ain't no bitch

Got shit done 💪

Desperately want to dye my hair but I also dont want to touch my roots because I like my grey hair

I need to take my vitamins but I feel so lazyyyyyyy

She slep

Therapist and I talked about how I'm running out of time and she grimaced and nodded her head and it made it feel real and I appreciated that with my entire being because she gets it

Decided to go skydiving

Also started drinking lemon water with Chia seeds and im suffering for it 😫

therapist keeps trying to stress that I call her or at least email her when I'm in a spiral but we both know I won't, not out of malice but because im not someone who can easily rely on others. Its a vulnerability I can't easily hand out and the fact that I look at it in such a way is the problem.

Eating healthier and exercising is such a fucking trap what do you mean my mental health isnt fixed immediately??

Learning how to do my hair because trivial things like that were never important before, its time to learn 😌

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

I did it- I finally said it and refused to feel bad about it

#Madatobi AU where after Hashirama's death, Tobirama mets an unfortunate fate by a beast that eats memories instead of flesh. A punishment for aimlessly wandering a forest so far from home in search of his brother. The beast called it a favor- before settling om calling it a mercy.

Nothing quite like your cat stepping on your boob to remind you that you are indeed mortal

Okay enough of that- back to fighting the sprial 💪✨️

At least call me pocket princess bitch!!!

Nel is evidently that type of friend you put in your pocket and remember she's there when you dig deep enough

Opened up about some of the deep roots of my issues and my therapist is now suggesting I see her 3 times a month- honey you and I both know we are lucky to see each other once a month

Thoughts began to circle and anxiety spiked- may this stress cube remain strong

Was actually slightly hung over this morning, today is a day of many surprises.

I mixed myself an entire liters worth of a margarita and promptly drank the entire thing whilst watching hannibal and ive finally managed to get buzzed. Now all I require is to be kissed within an inch of my life please and thank you

Therapist and I talked about my abandonment issues last time I saw her right after I told her how much I hate how I'm always right about the people around me.

I am- fucking exhausted

07-31-2023 Hannigram kiss 😘