When you sit on a cold wall for too long

It's not just women. They're demanding that their kids have more kids who keep having kids. It's the whole assumption that they exist for reasons rather than a chance encounter, so future generations need to keep the line going. Man here. Feck that. My kids have their own lives. My name is nothing

Some software engineers I work with have clearly been fighting ice for the last decade #KillJira

And then a Salamander saw me at the water tower and said, without hesitation, that the documentary was "Doogy Rev, Brother!"

Clothes shopping is quite ridiculous these days. Companies already trying to convince us to buy clothes for a different season. Uniqlo have just sent me an email with lost of linen options. I am currently wearing a jumper AND a fleece to stay warm at home. Linen season is five months away.

Wasn't paying much attention, but someone posted a story on instagram showing the moment Tommy Copper died. Not sure anyone needs to see that. I saw it live and it wasn't very pleasant then. Not sure why something like that is shared for content.

Tories worried other Tories will turn out to be exactly the people we expected them to be.

Just flew over England

"Pete Mandleson? Lead singer of the Spin Doctors?"

Absolutely bang on. The number of really bad SharePoint implementations I had been forced to use, means folk regularly save and share info from local storage. To the pain of all concerned

In a break from normal posting themes... If they destroy the legacy of The Devil Wears Prada, I will take to the streets to show my disgust.

At the Derby del Riso between Pro Vercelli and Novara today. Will be eating Panissa at lunch, in support of the home team.

Got lucky tonight and had a tongue sandwich. No jumper tit, mind.

Love a good church

What odds on all Italian teams losing in the play offs @rigorepod.bsky.social

Amazed that making vibe videos doesn't guarantee you a spot on the Tour de France

Someone on this plane is wearing Joop

At Manchester Airport. There are more folk with rollers in their hair here, than you'll find in a small town hairdressers. Amazed some security jobsworth hasn't made them take them out

Paid £10 extra for first class on the Transpennine Express and not a sniff of a coffee or shortbread biscuit. The North of England is a waste space, bruv

Which is it - sales are down or that they hope AI will fill the gaps so that they won't have to pay staff to do "spreadsheet shit"?

Can someone say some nice things about the Dollar or AI, so my work shares can improve. Baby needs some new shoes (pay off a credit card maxed on holiday plans)

It reminds me of badly dubbed Kung Fu movies. Without the Kung, but plenty of the FU!

Questions to ask yourself before posting: 1. Is it really Kafkaesque? 2. Have you read 1984, and can confirm it is just like that? 3. Did you even watch The Handmaid's tale, let alone read the book? 4. Have ever done acid? 5. Could this have been an emoji.

Stand there a bit longer as inevitably, more pee will come.

Me, when no one turns up for my birthday

Spurs currently trying to score the perfect goal. Which always bodes well.

Ban the match officials clasping players hands

The image is of a Chicken Kiev with a passing resemblance of the Millennium Falcon

Got paid today.

Just had the urge to listen to Slam - Eterna. I really miss Pressure.

Are you dining alone tonight, sir?

Gutted to see Alpkit is going under. First Endura struggling and selling their Scottish side of the business, now Alpkit. Feck it all

Let's be honest, it's actually 2.30pm and the Doomsday Clock will be returning in Marvel's The Avengers "This is life, now" in Cinemas this summer

Current social media: - No craze - A craze starts - Everyone is doing the craze - People get wound up by the craze and absolutely rip the piss out of folk - No craze

Watch Tinker Tailor on iPlayer last week, and it got me thinking... did Patrick Stewart just walk around the BBC in the late 70s looking angry and pompous as both Sejanus and Karla? What did he do in between?

100 years since TV was created above Bar Italia. Which means it's also 100 years since someone sat outside Bar Italia hoping you would remember them from that silent moving no one watched.

Shit White Bread Packet Corned Beef Salad Cream A warm, sun dappled garden in Spring time Bird song Teams muted and Not On Line selected for one hour

First in a series of lazy lunches. The instant "Spanish" omelette

Listening to an audiobook on the seven wonders of the ancient world, and if I don't have a mausoleum for when I kick the bucket, i will be very disappointed with you all

Image is of a bubbling pot of ribs and sausages that will soon be smothered all over some really terrible, instant polenta.

Paola Cardullo is part of the coverage of the #Pallavollo for the cup. She was always my favourite libero. She walked so Moki could dive, everywhere #Volleyball

Subjecting the kids to a horror show of a holiday at Easter. Athens > Istanbul > Rome. How many museums can I get them to before they complain about being bored? One?

How can anything be apocalypse-proof?

Chippie tea

I reckon someone else gave that interview on social media first, before Fat Tony reshared it.

Adam here, with a cut out and keep message we can reuse many times over.

I see Spurs have signed a Brazilian who will be brilliant for Real Madrid in 5 years time

Ya'll out here giving back and forth about the new He-Man movie, without pausing for a moment and realising any Jared Leto movie is a Titanic with no reverse capability.

Pity the sports reporter who opens a message with "Exclusive" about a tournament creating a jingle

Plump DJs - Scram is a proper dad dancing tune. "I used to be able to do the running man before we had you kids."