Jake Paul be like..

Wife~ “I think I have a cold” Me~ “Dear God, is it a man cold?!!” Wife~ “No I think it’s just a regular cold” Me~

Donald Trump will initiate “military incursions” into Venezuela to distract from the Epstein shitstorm.

BREAKING: Speaker Mike Johnson says House will vote next week on whether to release Epstein files, right after the first annual DOJ Bonfire.

Imagine a world where, on day 15 of a government shutdown, everyone in congress would lose 2% of their pensions per day, and if it went a full month, they would start PAYING the federal government 2% of their pensions every day? Either shit would get figured out or people would resign.

Trump’s healthcare plan in one picture

The people who said the COVID lockdowns were adversely affecting children seem quite indifferent to canceling the SNAP benefits that gives them the nutrition they need to learn in school

Trump’s going to make Sham Blondie find a reason to indict George Soros isn’t he?

When you’re MAGA, you’re expected to pray every by exposing your donut to the south, Mar a Lago to be specific.

@nothoodlum.bsky.social Hoodie you’re in the big leagues bro! Almost a quarter million followers! Don’t forget your old Hounddog when you’re rich and famous! 😊

Charlie Kirk is dead but lo and behold, Jimmy Kimmel was canceled and has arisen three business days later. 🤔

Me when I saw all the “Kirk dead” headlines and found out it wasn’t Shatner.

From your lips to God’s ears, Chuck.

Q: Does Putin know the contents of the Epstein Files? A: Yes. Q: Does this give him profound leverage over Trump? A. Yes. Absolute leverage. Q: How do we neutralize Putin's advantage? A: Release the entire Epstein files. Now.

So they haven’t caught the guy and you don’t have a ton of leads? Maybe sending all your federal law enforcement agents to help ICE and dismantling the JTTF and firing the head FBI field office for political reasons wasn’t the best idea.

Elizabeth Warren on people who say that the Dems need to tone down their rhetoric: "Oh, please. Why don't you start with the president of the United States? And every ugly meme he has posted and every ugly word."

I’m struggling with so many emotions tonight. Indifference…disinterest…apathy…aloofness….

Reminder that no one called for flags to be flown at half mast after the assassinations of Melissa and Mark Hortman, their dog & two other political targets by a right wing nutjob. Also that today's victim felt your loved ones were expendable to preserve his 2nd Amendment rights Image

…and fuck you too, Alex. Fuuuuuck you.

The important thing to remember here is that “thoughts and prayers” should be enough. If you’re one of those people who seeks biblical answers for everything, I’d suggest reading Matthew 26:52. Now let’s just move on…

Judging by the shamefully opportunistic & politicizing rhetoric of some rightwingers on Twitter, & their cynical use of Charlie Kirk’s horrific murder for political point scoring, it’s almost as if Minnesota Rep. Melissa Hortman wasn’t murdered by a Trump-voting MAGA maniac just 12 weeks ago.

RFK Jr and Trump~ “You are smart to let your immune system handle viruses and diseases instead of relying on vaccines, now come to our rallies, and bring your wallets!” MAGA~

I think we should start calling Mar a Lago “Club Ped”.

Dear #MAGA: If you know Trump hates Democrats and you heard him say he “loves the poorly educated”, who do you suppose he was talking about?

Remember the time that soulless, dead inside loser was paid to pretend Trump’s balls hadn’t been someplace that they obviously were. (No not Trump’s caddy, I’m talking about Pam Bondi)

Stop the cover up.

When you supported a pedophile, misogynistic con artist and and the afterlife finds you in a purgatory paddy wagon with Rush Limbaugh and Hitler…

I could be right, I could be wrong It hurts so bad it's been so long Mama, I'm coming home…

@hopeforukrain.bsky.social As a 🇨🇦, I’m more than willing to send a portion of my tax dollars to Ukraine to see the obliteration of Putin’s war machine. Fuck Putin, Slava Ukraini!

I’m not a fancy dancy political analyst but here’s my take: in a true democracy, a president or prime minister is under the employ of every citizen in the country. The office of the president can only be respected if that respect is earned. He’s just an employee at the end of the day. Remember that

If you truly don't think Donald Trump is hiding his involvement with Jeffrey Epstein, you have a profound need to improve your ability in assessing human behavior. Said another way – you've been conned many times regarding highly significant matters, and you will be again. And again. And again.

My Doctor~ “Do you drink alcohol?” Me~ “a few… on the weekends” Me on a weekday evening~ “Alexa, play blinding lights by The Weeknd”

“I never wrote a picture in my life. I don’t draw pictures of women,” he told the Journal. “It’s not my language. It’s not my words.”

I’m guessing this is right.

In fairness, do these look like two guys who knew each other well enough to send birthday cards?

The “healthiest president to ever hold office” has been obese for decades, eats KFC and McDonald’s every day, doesn’t exercise and thinks a pedometer is for keeping track of how many kids he raped.

**BREAKING NEWS** In a dramatic twist, White House doctors have clarified that president Trump was diagnosed with “Chronic Penis Insufficiency” and say they are baffled at how the diagnosis was misinterpreted between their offices and the media.

STOP TALKING ABOUT EPSTEIN!!

When you’re trying to tee off but the entire country is talking about Epstein.

Where there’s smoke, there’s liars.

America to other countries~ “Get ready because we’re about to tax our citizens to death on your products” 🤣🤣🤣

If Trump can rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, can we change the name of Air Force One to Incontinental Airlines? 🤔

If only there were dozens and dozens of warning signs that a trump administration would ignore court orders….