Me: *absolutely knocking it out of the park* Them: that actually belongs in the park

What if his name was Miguel Carricio? @footballcliches.bsky.social

Spurs will sack Thomas Frank before we get to play them again 😭 #nffc

I don't see us staying above West Ham. They're scoring goals and we're not #nffc

This is one of the worst things I've ever seen, and I saw Spice World at the cinema #nffc

Bakwa is garbage #nffc

Morgan Gibbs-White please never take a pen ever again. Even the ones you score are shit.

He means Greenhill. He thinks it's an island of hovering gold rings.

What are the best decaf tea bags that actually taste like tea and not like someone who hates me has made me a brew?

Planning to establish an adult cochlear implant peer support network. Will be helpful for adults with a CI/anyone deemed eligible. Sharing experiences to help others who are in the same process & navigating the Irish health system. Online first, then regional meets depending on numbers. Plz share!!!

Mendy is embarrassing

Ref should've binned the game off and taken the trophy home #AFCON

This is nuts. The players need to refuse what the coach is telling them and being professionals #AFCON

How are Spurs not in the relegation battle? They're so shit.

All these Reform egos are going to eat each other

Also, if a detective, barrister and psychologist can't work it out then I'm not sure having a few beers with an ex-FBI agent gives you much credibility either. #TheTraitors

Harriet's absolutely blown that and been a dick about it in the process. #TheTraitors

Just ate half a Cadbury selection box with the justification that "it needs using"

Change one letter, ruin a show: Ant & Dec's Limitless Gin

Wayne's brother deffo got the looks

It finishes Macclesfield 2, Crystal Palace 1. It's the biggest upset in FA Cup history. 117 league places between the two teams is the biggest gap overcome. Macclesfield are a semi-pro National League North team (sixth-tier), Premier League Palace are the current holders. #FACup #footy-live

Macclesfield 👏👏👏

If I climb out of this giant vat of shit then the shit will win - so I'm staying

Petition to remove Welsh teams from English football #nffc

If you still have an X account you’re indistinguishable from a Nazi or a nonce at this point.

The smell of the school register

Just caught up with The Traitors....wtf

Got away with one there. Dyche gets no credit for that though because the football is absolutely honking #nffc

Celtic are nearly on their third Martin O'Neill of the season

John Victor. Absolute clown

Spent £230m to look like San Marino with a hangover #nffc

20 seconds to go until half-time, we've got a throw and just need to keep the ball. Of course we fucked it #nffc

There are countless schools still using that shit hole site to post pictures of kids

Introduce yourself as what almost killed you: Greetings. I am spiked with rat poison, passed out and fell face-first onto the pavement. I am also meningitis.

Last night was the best NYE we've had for years. Fish & chips, board games, cocktails, and the kids stayed up for the first time and didn't behave like dicks. Happy new year!

Ronan Keating and Rod Stewart, are the BBC ok?

I've had a horrible cold for the whole Christmas holiday and I've lost the charger for my beard trimmer. I look a mess.

We're are in massive trouble. Our PL survival is entirely dependent on 3 teams being worse than us because we are not climbing the table #nffc

This is a hard watch #nffc

A lot of comments about Eleven's face in the new Stranger Things. I don't get it. It's just her face and she's a bit older, right?

Kids got up at 8 minutes past 3 😭

Went to a carol service and my cochlear implant battery died just as I was walking in, so that was a fun hour

Nowhere sells brandy snaps. It's a fucking shambles

Anderson's passing stats are taking a pasting tonight. He's had a shocker #nffc

Not much now he's been subbed #nffc

The goalposts at AFCON look tiny. No wonder we've had two penalties saved in the tournament so far

Out of office: activated

Jurassic Park 😳