So you wanna play with my dick? Boy you should know what you're fallin' for Baby do you dare to do this? 'Cause I'm endowed just like a seahorse

I want Donald Johnald's ph#. I'm pretty sure I can get a few Apple gift cards out of him

Another scary Iran story. They missed the window to manufacture consent and they're trying so hard to catch up

I’m cool with growth but I’m also cool with not giving blackwater mercenaries with nazi tattoos power. Go be on a school board if you want to effect change, Graham.

This guy: "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Booma"

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of... All this in just ~70 years @summoningsalt.bsky.social

I seen that Eric Clapton-looking dork on here the other day. And now this Twitter Clout Goblin shows up Blech!

In 1986 or so when I was 10 or thereabouts a UHF channel out of Abilene showed Rock 'n' Roll High School randomly one weekend and I've been in love with Mary Woronov ever since. That probably says something about me

I call bullshit. They're trying to manufacture consent after the fact

MAGA gonna have a hell of a time outbreeding "the other" when they're all $8/month gooners who can't find the cl1t Also them shits wouldn't rate a 4 on Wikifeet

Disclaimer: I watch/listen. There's an occasional insight. But I still propose the nickname "Pud Save America." They're all such rizzless status quo dorks (Lovett gets a tiny pass.)

It's cold comfort we're not the only state travelling backwards through time

No thank you

Rent is just subscription-based housing

Years ago my wonderful cousin Kristy asked if I made my bed in the morning "I don't do hospital corners but, yeah, I pull them covers up. Do you?" She said "No. Do you tie your shoes after you take them off?"

Sensational Sherri > Ms. Elizabeth

Wendy here is Oklahoma's best

Not laughing *at* OP but at "meacide." I've never considered self-harm but, were it to happen, I would want everyone to refer to me having committed "Drewicide."

Great Value Candace Owens

Sometimes YouTube just gets me. You know them two French fellas saw this as kids youtu.be/Y4FrnrD7jCA?...

If someone figured out a way to sell cannabis in sandwich baggies that evoked nostalgia but still satisfied childproofing requirements they could probably make a killing

My Swirly Girl. I love her soo much

Imagine this li'l pudwhacker pulling you over for anything. Be hard to hold back my laughter

I don't love either candidate but Jasreal Crockett can't win in a general. She just can't, y'all

She should have just gotten an F for a shitty essay and she'd be rich

PSA for carpetwalkers: if you use this style earbud, and not those dangling Apple jankpods, tug them ears on insertion. World of difference!

Further proof Oklahoma is the dumbest state

More foreign war Moreign war Moron war

Operation Epstein Fury.

I'm saying this as sweetly as possible: Hey moots, stop engaging with @altnps.bsky.social . They're corny and fake AF

Growing up I never knew this was a parody youtu.be/WxB2kHLOHBY?...

Average American Boomer: "Will this affect my treats?"

We learned about the paradox of comorbidities decades ago

MAGA done ruined our country. Those silly goofs!

Thanks, Magic

I thought my classic country education was near encyclopedic but I just heard this yesterday Fascinating song! And weird as hell youtu.be/15LuS4NiOLk?...

I'm amazed this FTC even said "boo" this time. That's right, this ain't their first time ripping off workers. Walmart just can't quit stealing wages!

Fit check

This beauty lives across the street and if she spies me out smoking she comes running, motorboat at full throttle. She's the best part of most days ❤️

If you want to consume their products without enriching and enabling their pedophile pals just watch through a browser with adblocker. "Insert movie title + 123" and you'll find it within a couple of clicks Or so I've heard

Ginni Thomas can't catch a buzz from bribery anymore so she's resorted to stealing flights

More competent than Kash Patel

I think a lot about the fact that we all grow up being told we're the greatest nation on Earth and so do North Koreans

Infrastructure W̶e̶e̶k̶ Decade

Just need a sack and I'll be set

In other words: they wanna take teachers' money and have us pay for their failsons' hoity toity private educations

I have a coworker with a tattoo gun and every couple weeks she comes in with some fresh doodle she gave herself during her 19th rewatch of Bones and I'm tired of pretending it's cool or looks good