"Lemon Nation" lmaogtfo

Can I get a 'fit check?

All set to watch the Denver Nuggets' second World Championship

Who's getting off to an AI slop GIF of themselves kissing another? Who would be enticed by seeing one? Weird, semi-chaste stuff lol

I only like snakes and sparklers

My album's cover is done!

"Logistics worker" is a hell of a misspelling of "wage slave"

Stronger than ten rows of onions

Proudly Unkicked In The Nuts Since 1985

Just me or are Golden Grahams getting thicker & heartier?

This debuted back when I was an alcoholic and would fall asleep during Adult Swim. Waking up in a stupor and not understanding I was watching A/S was the best way to see it

Who wants to sex Mutumbo?

Clavicular learned about jawsmashing from DoorDash Grandma

Tired: Jesus Christ of Nazareth Wired: Jesus Christ of Owasso

As a huge fan of JD & The Straight Shot I'm incredibly surprised and dismayed. He better find a church youtu.be/yNZ3hJPN5Vc?...

UFC = Unambiguously Fucking Chuds

Cigarettes! Cigarettes! I wanna smoke cigarettes Smoke some fucking cigarettes

Oklahoma so backwards that even our Democrats are sex-crazed chuds

Reppin' discount grocery

No fucking public money for religious instruction! IDGAF if it's Yahweh or FSM Get fucked, zealots!

His only regret is that he won't get to vote Republican ever again

Clavicular jealous of Doordash Grandma's jawline

Doordash Grandkids: "We don't claim that racist old bitch lol"

I haven't seen any of the Disney live action remakes. But I'm rooting for them on the premise that we'll get "A Goofy Movie"

"Laverne & Shirley in the Army" is such a weird concept for a cartoon. Everyone knows that kids loooved "Private Benjamin"

For pure 80s cuteness it goes Monchichis, Care Bears, Smurves then Snorks. Pound Puppies were trash

If Ponzi were alive he'd be Sec of Treasury

I'd cover my drink around a guy like Swalwell And I'm a dude

Swalwell screams entitled frat douche

When Dude Wipes appeared on the market I presumed they were created for insecure manly men who didn't want to be seen using "baby wipes." But, apparently, they're XL. HOW BIG IS YOUR BUTTHOLE AND/OR TAINT? Do you do all the wiping with 'em? Are you just bad at pooping?

What's in my pouch?

Under another administration I'd be gunning for any available nomination. I'm pretty sure there's no necessary qualifications. Why not me?

I want his barber to "accidentally" screw up and make this man a record setter for oldest broccoli cut

I just learned about Scientology Runs. Shit's hilarious. I hope it gets adapted to expose and embarrass other shitty orgs

Fuck @adamkinzinger.substack.com, fuck @thebulwark.com and all the Johnny-come-lately's who pushed awful policy for decades and now wanna tell us how to behave Apologize for being shitty and then we'll talk

Now this is a great replacement theory

I just popped a mini Reesey cup and discovered the paper condom in my mouth! Did I just forget to unwrap it properly? Nope. Double bagged

Hey, you know those guys doing jackshit? Send 'em some money. You have no idea how stern their letters can get. The sternest!

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It would be such a relief to see these guys in Oklahoma

You're the scam, @oklahomaoag.bsky.social, you diminutive nepo bitch

@altnps.bsky.social is a bullshit artist selling cosplay resistance and T-shirts to Boomers

Sometimes I forget I'm scrolling the Okies feed and not Following and I see all your posts and am happy that you're all popping off lol

I feel like we could dismantle a lot of fascist movement by simply auditing untaxed organizations

I want @jaketapper.bsky.social to get a jury trial

Would be funny to attend this event dressed Amish and try to make time

I didn't know open box cologne and perfume was a thing. What's my reassurance as a consumer that someone didn't pour the OG contents into a lemon juice squeezie and send it back filled with High Karate?

LED dominoes where you push a button and they turn blank and shuffle themselves

It would be legendary to happen on 4-4

No weapon formed against pigpoopballs shall prosper