now pls interact with this yall our product team has become a marketing team and they are so stressed that their attempts to get users isn’t working as well as they wanted 😭

HELLO if you live in/around the following cities; Boston, Philadelphia, New Haven, Baltimore, DC, Nashville, Louisville, New Orleans, Austin, San Francisco, Toronto, Montreal, and Calgary AND/OR you’re interested in traveling and learning about the cities above… Read the next post! 🤩

guys i’m gonna promo my job in second yall better interact

im so stoned in this pfp bruh

FIXED IT

couldn’t fix it <\3

work being dead got me thinking about all the shit my ex probably did behind my back in the last month of us dating like WOW you really did not like me

fixing the espresso machine feeling blue collar

realizing that i’m the only person who will ever love me unconditionally was a real frontal lobe development moment

changed theme to match my gf (the river)

sitting on the toilet on the clock reading one star reviews for my work

car revved its engine next to me at a stoplight at 5 in the morning and … baby you’re driving a honda crv ur not that guy

wake up new fisheye ethan just dropped

2026 ranked so far for those curious tl;dr: gladiator 2 holding down #1 since the end of january… jimmy carr’s fackham hall genuinely one of the worst viewing experiences of my life (#64) boxd.it/RhtMA

if you didn’t know the narnia movies were an allegory for the bible & christianity, you really know by the last 15 minutes of the third movie

guys i’m gonna lock in on my work today because i haven’t been doing as much as i should so if yall see me on here before lunch pls yell at me

don’t have food in the house and i’m so hungry but my friend and i are gonna get snacks before we go to the river so i just have to hold out for (checks watch) 6 hours

lacking object permanence & facial recognition sucks until you get your heartbroken and month later you realize you don’t even remember what they look/sound like

ugh sad again

gonna give jard a rundown of the entire first season of the pitt tomorrow and it feels like giving my friend a recap after the shittiest day at work

landlords emailing me & my ex about renewing the lease when they’ve been gone for over a month now

the cognitive dissonance required to espouse the virtue of life in all its forms and then turn around and vote for a candidate who makes children into pâté

markiplier video playing on my tv just referenced dougdoug… when worlds collide

there’s always SOMEONE who gets shocked when i say i went on a date with a woman and i have to remind them that i was into women waaayyyy before i was into men

getting ripped so i can impress beautiful woman by catching them like shaggy & scooby doo

having a small dog that sleeps in the bed with you is great and all until you’re trying to j*** o** and there’s a 23 pound shih tzu mix trying to settle in your ribcage

does anyone know what to do

maybe i should just try to start making friends online more so i have people to visit all over the country

okay i’m done fucking around who wants to fall in love and care for each other and spend the rest of our lives together joking about the past and dreaming for the future

Okay i'll bite. Don't go near me i'll literally bite

wearing my slutty little bathing suit to the river today what are the odds i get approached (i’ve never been one to think this would happen)

ouuu i want to TRAVEL but i don’t want to do it ALONE and all of my friends are in RELATIONSHIPS so they’re gonna want to bring their FUCKASS significant others …

RIVER DAY ITS GONNA BE 85° EVERYONE GO CRAZYYY!!!

any time someone’s response times to my texts slow i just automatically assume i’ve blown it tbh

Endless cycle

someone got a haircut…

every time i’m reminded dominos doesn’t deliver to my house i become a little more heartbroken

OH YESTERDAY A GUY AT THE BAR ASKED FOR MY NUMBER WITHIN LIKE. 2 MINUTES OF SITTING DOWN??? that shit has literally never happened to me before

i think the date went well guys … sealed it w a kiss but my lips were lowkey dry as hell so now i’m nervous a bad kiss ruined it HAHA

just took a 3 hour nap by accident

is there a bsky plug or extension that shows inactive oomfs 😭 i follow over a thousand people and my feed still feels so dead

obsessed w this video of kevin bacon rn

crossed at 1am eating leftovers in front of my tv in just my tidy whities…. this is bachelor living

hi im home its 1am

i fear the second alcohol touches my lips it’ll be a one way ticket to dreamland

here’s the fit for the evening what do we think

smoked a joint feeling alive again

been up since 5am and it’s currently 6pm and my date isn’t for another like 2 hours i am EXHAUSTED how do people DO THIS