The tourists who just got mugged outside the airport don't have baggage. See, I can be a clown too.

EW

YES ROSE

See, I have a very strict 'no baggage' policy and you have a lot. I also have a lot and have a habit of disregarding my own policies despite the fact that I put them in place for my own sake.

... ... (Fuck.) Would.

Okay, definitely not going that far, round goes to Joker. I need better social circles.

Maybe I'll kiss Batman first out of spite, huh?

Seeing how fucked up he is just validates my own decisions. Also did dad just threaten to kiss Batman?

Well first of all I'd probably do chronologically but also NO! That was rhetorical and also would open up like five other arguments!

Yeah, go figure that'd be your reaction! You want a list of everyone who's ever gotten in my pants so you can just start knocking them off?

🔴🦇👉👌😩💦🤔🫵🖕🖕

😑😮‍💨

Bleary eyes stared blankly at the bag of instant coffee in front of her as she waited for the electric kettle to bubble nearby.

You would say that. Have you ever even seen a therapist? Like, aside from through the scope of a rifle? Yes, I know what happened to Dr. Juarez, I don't blame you, it's just patterned behaviour for you now.

I've seen like five different therapists and their expert opinions are better than yours on this.

Did you just "nuh-uh" me about my daddy issues? BECAUSE THAT'S WHY I HAVE DADDY ISSUES!

Oh nooooo! You ever think maybe you're the reason I'm like this?

Look, it's not my fault you had unrealistic expectations of me.

I mean I could've gone lower, he's like the most violent out of them all.

ON OCCASION, YES!

WHAT ABOUT IT?

That this is all wrong? Yeah, trust me, you being my dad isn't my choice either.

My dad. That's what you are.

Why am I playing this game with my dad and my booty call, this is all wrong.

If you know, you know.

🤨

Yawn. Roll over. Glass clinking. Oops, beer bottle in the bed. She shoved it off onto the floor. The rug would catch it. Glass hit glass. Oops. She paused. Nothing broke. Good. Back to sleep.

Yawn. Roll over. Glass clinking. Oops, beer bottle in the bed. She shoved it off onto the floor. The rug would catch it. Glass hit glass. Oops. She paused. Nothing broke. Good. Back to sleep.

TFW your dad has more BFF bracelets than you.

I hate how much bones dull a good sword. Like a lot of bones over a lot of time, but those little chips and bumps add up fast!

Dear Abby, What's up, is 9 AM too early for a whisky sour?

🕸️━━━━⊱✖️⊰━━━━🕸️ 𝐇𝐞'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞... S̶p̶e̶c̶t̶a̶c̶u̶l̶a̶r̶ ̶ ̶U̶l̶t̶i̶m̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶A̶m̶a̶z̶i̶n̶g̶ 𝖀𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝕾𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝕸𝐚𝐧 🕸️━━━━⊱✖️⊰━━━━🕸️

More in place among the young nepot-babies that made up most of the party was the white-haired girl in a black cocktail dress with orange accents along the hems. Alright, a little on brand, but she was a business woman! >

Rose was the daughter of Slade Wilson and knew that ambition trumped all rules in the minds of the greedy. The Endless were likely still vulnerable to the idea of ambition, as far as she was concerned, given how human they acted with her limited experience. Which was right now. >

"Oh so it's not my enemies you're worried about, it's yours." She hated that she could almost hear her father's voice filing that information away as useful. "I like that shade of pink in your cheeks. A little colour suits you," she insisted. "And also I told you: take what you want."

"Giving creepy stalker vibes there, babe," Rose smirked, wrapping an arm around Teleute's waist and pulling her close. "But knowing and seeing are different things, aren't they?" she asked in another low whisper. Could Death get goosebumps? Was she capable of teasing Death that much?

"Really? I thought that might've counted as foreplay for you," she teased. Though to hear her address given was ... "Alright, you did your homework on me. Yeah, frighteningly accurate. Just mind the door, it sticks."

"Teleute," Rose repeated, nodding slowly. "Bit of a tongue twister but better than Death." Couldn't really moan the name Death, after all. She hated that her mind went there so quickly. "So, you're afraid of my enemies, Teleute?" she distracted herself with a grin that wouldn't fool a soul.

"I just wasn't expecting your lips to be ... was that strawberries?" She was definitely imagining that. Or dying. Hard to tell right now. "Is there something else I can call you? Because Death is a little ... impersonal."

quill i enjoy writing bi disasters too much

Before Rose could really consider the connotations around the kiss of Death, lips were upon hers. A sound rumbled in her throat, almost a moan, as she was pleasantly surprised by how soft those lips were. A shuddering breath escaped her when it was done. "Yeah, sure, my place, enemies ..."

Rose didn't budge, standing stalwart as she let Death advance. She smirked, leaned forward. "Who am I to say no that?" she breathed softly into the other's ear. Yeah, she was all kinds of fucked up. Imagine Thanksgiving! Hey Dad, here's my casual fling, Death, I think you know each other already.

"I can't really promise anything with regards to that second one. I might not be the super villain my Dad was but I am a working woman in a very dangerous occupation. But okay, this whole thing is becoming too much negotiation for my tastes." Hands were on her hips. "So, Death, take what you want."

"I don't want anything. Not right now. I don't exactly have run-ins with demons on the regular ... but if it ever comes up, maybe I'll get you to make a few phone calls. Listen, I know the whole abstract entity thing usually comes with bargains and deals and stuff but ... ignore that, alright?"

"I ... yeah, you've been around me all my life. Always there. Even for Dad, I guess ... okay, but listen, I don't want eternal life. I've seen what happens to people who try that. It drives them mad. R'as, Dad, everyone who flirts with some brand of immortality seems to be insane."

"A fling with Death ... sounds like a schlocky romance novel. But why me? Don't you have access to basically anyone and everyone?"

"I have a theory on what that means, but I refuse to believe I have Death implying that kinda thing ... and that I have to tell Death I'm not that kind of girl. Okay, I am that kind of girl, but I'm really bad with labels and commitment. Kinda runs in the family ..."

What was one supposed to do in such a situation? Especially because, like, she was very good looking. Which really wasn't fair! "Define ... have you," Rose breathed out.