TAPPED OUT Wish-Fulfillment Fantasies, Part 2: open.substack.com/pub/dreamwea...

LIST OF UNFORTUNATE TRUTHS 1. There is no objective metric for What Is Okay for a President to Post 2. There is no mainstream news coverage that will shame him into stopping 3. There is no mainstream news coverage that will shame his supporters into voting against him

This is sort of an extension/variant of the feedback loop. Platner gets accused of thing. Twitter obsesses over it. Media starts reporting on Twitter doing that. Story is now "Planter accused of thing" not if, you know, thing is true. But now he's "problematic!" (Aristocrats flourish) THE NARRATIVE!

Apparently the prisoners all died of comorbidities or something

PUNDITS: Democrats lose elections because it’s not enough for them to say “Trump is bad.” Voters need to know how the candidate will make their lives tangibly better TRUMP: THE DEMOCRATS ARE FLOODING THE COUNTRY WITH IMMIGRANTS & TRANSING YOUR CHILDREN!!! GOP VOTERS: We’ll support you forever

TEN MORE POTENTIAL PROBLEMS TO BE FACED BY CBS 10. The woman they hired to clamp down on anti-Trump sentiment is becoming irritated that everyone assumes she was hired to clamp down on anti-Trump sentiment

What if the people at home are confident that every word that comes out of your mouth is a lie

WISH-FULFILLMENT FANTASIES 2026 Edition New blog post: open.substack.com/pub/dreamwea...

Obviously, this is 24-karat bullshit. But can you even imagine how pathetic it would be if he were telling the truth? Just imagine craving affirmation SO BADLY that you schedule unnecessary doctors’ appointments because you love hearing what great shape you’re in.

GOP: How can Democrats in Maine support a man with a Nazi tattoo and was sexting with women behind his wife’s back DEMS: Maybe they agree with his message that we should increase the minimum wage, raise taxes on billionaires and stop supporting Israel GOP: That’s even worse

TRUMP: L’etat, c’est moi EVERY ARTIST ON EARTH: We do not wish to be associated with you GOP: Why do so many artists hate America

Every time I have to electronically check in to a doctor’s appointment, I would like to see a big red button on the first page of the questionnaire that reads JUST ENTER THE SAME ANSWERS I GAVE YOU LAST TIME

“Go to war, don’t go to war… why are these political hacks sending me so many mixed signals?”

OBJECTIVISM, PRE-A.I.: A person’s value is determined by what they can create OBJECTIVISM, POST-A.I.: Oh, we have machines for that now

The worse you are at creating, the more enthusiastically you will welcome A.I.

Millions will celebrate when he is finally departed from this Earth. Many of his enablers probably understand why. But he never will.

EXPLAINING EXTREMELY OBVIOUS THINGS TO PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO LISTEN May Wrapup: open.substack.com/pub/dreamwea...

Trump is totally crashing out this weekend because he knows how much everybody hates him, but appears to be eternally flummoxed as to the reasons why

NATIONAL INSECURITY New blog post: open.substack.com/pub/dreamwea...

I don’t have much left to say about the Freedom 250 disaster except that the artists involved eventually recognized the truth in my (first) statement below

Liberal democracy requires a certain degree of rationality from its citizenry, whose responsibility it is to pick leaders who make things better and not worse. Break the fundamental linkage between real conditions and political outcomes, and you've created an ideal environment for fascism to thrive.

A SUMMARY OF THE KEN PAXTON SENATE CAMPAIGN aka the Neverending Referendum on Texas Masculinity: open.substack.com/pub/dreamwea...

One theory about Freedom 250 that I am unable to convincingly refute is that somebody in the Trump camp got wind of the song “Donald Trump (Black Version)” and assumed Morris Day and the Time would be a lock

Please understand that Ken Paxton’s campaign strategy “My Opponent Is a Limp-Wristed F-gg-t” would have gone in an equally offensive direction had Jasmine Crockett won her primary

I remain flummoxed that there were ever people who genuinely were not smart enough to tell the difference between “Campaigned With Liz Cheney” and “Would Actively Fuck With Every State That Did Not Vote for Him”

MILLER: Now, this message to my husband came from a sad liberal woman named Paulina MACE: She is probably harboring some kind of mental illness, because why else would anyone say such a thing in response to a clever bon mot about James Talarico’s masculinity?

GOP: James Talarico is a tranny and a girly-man who doesn’t even eat meat! He’s a FAG! He’s a limp-wristed pussyboy faggot who doesn’t eat meat or watch sports DEMS: What are you people even doing GOP: Tailoring our message to the median Texas voter

A MESSAGE FROM THE PEARL-CLUTCHING ATTACK DOGS OF AMERICA Because well-behaved women seldom make histrionics: open.substack.com/pub/dreamwea...

The Trump Doctrine is to invent a threat to justify authoritatian retaliation. It’s what he did to immigrants. It’s what he did to trans people. It’s what he did to student protesters. And it’s definitely what he’s doing to his criminal accusers such as E. Jean Carroll.

I remember most of these artists from the early ‘90s; they were textbook examples of Why Nirvana Had to Happen

While there are some talking points that Trump‘s MAGA cult followers will clearly repeat ad infinitum, I’ve noticed that even they don’t appear to be on board with bragging about how well their President has done on his cognitive tests

Donald Trump won’t be happy until everyone on TV is as stupid as he is

Donald Trump is so pathologically needy that he is now inventing fantasy scenarios in his head and immediately becoming furious that the media is not praising him for them

Donald Trump is without question the worst President in American history for one simple reason: he DOES NOT CARE about the country or the people he is supposed to lead. He would throw the entire country under the bus if Vladimir Putin gave him a bright shiny nickel and told him he was pretty.

MEMORIAL DAY ADDRESSES THROUGH THE AGES - - - - - KAMALA HARRIS, 2021: Enjoy the long weekend GOP: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DONALD TRUMP, 2026: The Dumocrats disrepect our military and I call them Dumocrats because they are stupid and dumb GOP: America is finally great again

What do you do when “shame” is no longer a remotely effective deterrent

Bill Maher’s been conspiciously absent from the glowing tributes to Stephen Colbert from his fellow talk-show hosts. Granted, Maher was off this weekend for the Memorial Day holiday. But he’s made no secret of the fact that they’re not exactly friends.

This whole discourse over THE ODYSSEY actually makes me nostalgic for a bygone era when American conservatives pretended to care about the Western Canon of literature

TRUMP: I am sorry I cannot attend my son’s wedding! I have to stay in Washington to do Important Government Things! FOX: Another gunman tried to assassinate the President this weekend TRUMP: The hateful and violent Left is trying to kill me! The entire country is required to talk about this again!

Oh my God, he wasn’t kidding. Stephen Colbert actually returned to community-access TV in Monroe, Michigan for a very special episode: youtu.be/7DlF5Cf4VLM?...

Look, if Don Jr. wanted his father to drop everything and attend his wedding, he should’ve scheduled it during his criminal trial in New York

SPEAKING TRUTHINESS TO POWER Comedy changed when our politics did: open.substack.com/pub/dreamwea...

One reason so many of us are rallying behind Stephen Colbert now is because we have astonishingly few avenues to register our disgust with the current Administration. Voting a year and a half ago was the best way to do that, but some of you decided you were too good for that.

I don’t care about the size of Trump’s hands, I don’t care about the bruises on Trump’s hands, I don’t care what may or may not have caused the bruises on Trump’s hands, and I don’t care if he’s wearing makeup on his hands. If the post is about Trump’s hands, it is of no interest to me

The biggest problem is that the surface-level “swing” voters in the middle are far more receptive to what right-wing commentators are saying ABOUT Democrats than what the Democrats are actually saying and doing. Because they’re louder.

Do you think there’s any reason that most satirical absurdity would be centered around Trump and the brainwashed automatons who support him no matter what he says or does

TEN MORE WAYS LATE-NIGHT TALK-SHOW HOSTS MIGHT POSSIBLY RUN AFOUL OF THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION 10. John Oliver will present a 20-minute “deep dive” into the history of the U.S. Constitution and come out squarely in support of the 22nd Amendment

Fuck David Ellison and everyone at CBS who is responsible for canceling The Late Show. David Letterman built something magnificent for you, and Stephen Colbert expertly brought it into the modern era. And you threw it all away in an instant because Dear Leader cannot take a joke.

CHECKING IN WITH THE ADL 🧕🏼: Free Palestine ADL: That’s anti-Semitism 👳🏻‍♂️: From the river to the sea ADL: Also anti-Semitism 🧑🏽‍🦱: Respect existence or expect resistance ADL: More anti-Semitism