The gun is good The penis is evil

Everyone on team tank for the Canucks should also be hoping Ottawa plunges in the standings too. They had to forfeit their pick this year but (as far as I can tell) their odds are still factored into the lottery. Sorry, Ottawa, you’re collateral damage.

So what other hobbies or interests are people pursuing when Canucks games are on now? Trading card games and re-learning guitar for myself.

It’s a bit disheartening that in a year where the Canucks are absolutely stanky, another team has found a way to say “hold my beer” over losing.

I was very excited initially and then extremely disappointed

Nice of MacKinnon to show how much he wants the best chance to win goals at the Olympics by absolutely lighting Binnington up so they don’t start him.

What’s the over/under on the Heated Rivalry jerseys being better quality than anything Fanatics has put out?

Make a Bond film casual Single Vagina

Weird Cute/Weird Hot is crucial for society. It unironically bodes well that people think Quinn Hughes, who looks like a domesticated ferret with PTSD, is attractive [He very much is]

Just turned on the game. Wow, the Canucks look like shit tonight.

Canucks and Wild now both 4-0 since the Hughes trade (or Buium trade if you prefer).

Buium is Pennywise coded

JT Miller winning a game in overtime? In the year of our lord 2025?

It’s very funny to me that the closeted veteran player on Heated Rivalry looks a lot like Tyler Seguin.

For anyone bemoaning the Canucks winning games because of tanking reasons, relax. It’s statistically improbable for them to lose every game.

At his current rate, Buium will pass Hughes as the Canucks lead scoring defenseman in 228 games.

Love that Shorthouse still isn’t quite sure how to pronounce Buium.

Canucks may have made chicken salad out of chicken shit getting Buium 🫠🤷🏽

I’ll start a GoFundMe for the first Canucks beat reporter that asks Allvin “how does it feel to be a worse GM than Jim Benning?”

I had to see it and so do you.

Can’t say that isn’t a haul but everyone involved in the organization should still be publicly flogged.

The prospects game > draft > prospects game timeline doesn’t make sense but they used hockey nicknames during sex. 10/10

It would be weirdly fitting if Hughes gets traded to Detroit. He fell into Vancouver’s lap thanks to a baffling decision by Detroit on draft day, now he may end up there thanks to baffling decisions by Vancouver’s management.

Time to start Heated Rivalries. I’m going to be judging this on two strict criteria: hockey knowledge and man on man action. If either are lacking, my criticism will be sharp.

Can the season be saved through addition by subtraction? (No, but still a positive)

Huh

3 video reviews, 2 called off goals, and 1 fan injured by a puck.

That should have counted as two goals if Pettersson scored there.

I know there’s a lot of reasons to choose from but why do San Jose fans hate Kane?

Call me crazy but I don’t think Adam Foote is very good at his job.

“We’ll get you back to hockey in Vancouver!” That’s a straight up threat these days

“For Vancouver, Abby?” “No, for me.”

Didn’t originally see Pettersson shoving a Dallas player off DeBrusk, with a full FOH motion, so Pettersson could congratulate DeBrusk on the goal, but I enjoyed that replay.

Wow. If Kane keeps doing that kind of stuff I might have to reconsider hating him. (No I won’t)

Canucks said “fuck your PDO”

Kane, you complete imbecile

Sometimes community means telling an abusive boss to piss off.

Canucks eke out a win against a mediocre team. I guess the strategy for tomorrow is hoping Colorado tired themselves out beating the piss out Edmonton, and Vancouver can just push them over. Like Homer’s stint as a boxer.

Every time I have to see Evander Kane whiff on a sure thing.

I refuse to believe Del Bel Belluz is a hockey player. He should be tending bar in a prequel era Star Wars comic.

Blow it up. #Canucks

Slappers Only night will be fun

Johansson backhanded the puck into nothing for the win. Crazy.

Before the season began I said they should only re-sign Sherwood if he scores like 30 goals. Sherwood:

Lmao. Sherwood you freak.

I’m so tired of Evander Kane.